Relax, Nothing Is Under Control
2019-05-16, 10:31 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Quote from my officemate Maria: “Why can’t life be normal right now?”
Today started out with the following news:
(a) My coworker who said she’d be back from leave on the 20th as of last week now texted this morning to say she won’t be back until mid-June, and the other one is officially “on leave” until December but probably won’t return ever unless a miracle occurs, and I mean that literally.
They will be forced to hire at least one temp or contract person, which they made it sound like they don’t have the money for since they have to pay for them to both be on medical leave.
We are hella hella screwed if one of them isn’t coming back for at least another three weeks (and yeah, probably even longer than that at the rate they are going).
(b) BUT: for once my group is not the absolute most disastrous in the office, because right now the award goes to...scheduling! I can only assume the giant avalanche of crap and disaster that fell upon them probably has something to do with everyone with expertise in the area now being gone, because I can’t even recount all of the Shit That Went Wrong and has forced managers to work on the weekend even on Mother’s Day. Even BigBoss is, I guess, working on these things herself and said she was taking a day off tomorrow or else she’d keel over. She actually said, “If you need me, I have zero minutes available today....” They asked for some help and I was all, hah, ain’t no way my group can offer you help either because we are in the same sort of situation here. Added bonus is that it sounds like nobody has any clue/idea/training as to what they are supposed to be doing or what is going wrong over there, JEEBUS. Of course, we don’t know either and any plans to get someone to come back are now gone. My boss said she’d have to find out how these things are done...somehow. She didn’t quite say “this is the darkest timeline” (I have no idea if she ever saw Community but I am guessing not) but said something similar.
Meanwhile I had a begging client wanting to know who she could talk to or if there was ANYTHING that could be done to get her thing done, and I had to do a shitty little polite e-mail dance that did NOT say the truth of, “Sorry, all the people who know how to do that are gone on medical leave and fuck if we know when they are coming back and they did not tell us how to do a lot of it before they keeled over, but I can’t openly say that we cannot help you because nobody else knows how to do this and we can’t seem to find out and fuck if I know, sorry, guess you’re abandoned and screwed like the rest of us! Nobody can help you or us here!” Also, “Well, you can send another e-mail begging for help ASAP if you like, I can’t stop you, but it won’t help you either if literally nobody left knows how or how to even find out how.” When I asked my boss how to handle situations like this, my boss added it into her avalanche of stuff to look at....sometime. Who knows.
After this meeting, another coworker sent us some memes with the following text:
I posted the first three on my bulletin board and when I ran out of space for the hamster pic, I taped it to a box on my desk. People love it.
In other news, my officemate is getting her wisdom teeth out on Friday. Of course another coworker had to come in and be all, “I got an infection and it caused me to lose my appendix when I did that.” OH DEAR GOD PLEASE DO NOT HAVE HER HAVE COMPLICATIONS FROM THIS. Because the way things are going around here, we should expect that of course she ends up out sick for a week or weeks or what.
As for play rehearsal, we are back in our usual rehearsal space (there’s a concert going on in the play space tonight) and thus we did not bother with dress rehearsal either. It felt like a throwback to a lazier time. We did get through the whole show for a third round though, so that’s nice.
After last night, Linda was all “You came back!” and “You guys are the best” and “I’m just so impressed with you all.” She also said “this is not like me to yell like this,” and we were all, we understand, we’re noisy and it’s hard to get through. She recounted a story of trying to direct Grease in a high school that was going terribly, with people flaking out and not showing up at rehearsal, the dress rehearsal went terribly, they didn’t even get through the entire play. And then on the night of, it worked. “It was magic.” (Manny was all, “She hired an arsonist.”) Linda was all, “Where did this talent come from?” and “There’s magic that happens when the audience arrives,” but “I’m afraid of this damn audience.”
Building logistics: we can’t use the “green room” (note: this room is absolutely covered in crazy autographs and drawings, I took pics but wish I’d examined it in greater detail) because the caterers need to use it, so we will be going downstairs and using a quilting room classroom courtesy of Yarn Empire Scott’s mom (helps to have connections, hee) for dressing and the like.
After last night, both Jean and Mark came up with some cheat sheets with cues--Mark has a shorter one that can be left on tables and looks like the layout of the wedding program (with a “Sponsored by Animal Kingdom” logo on it) and Jean’s is a shorter version of her spreadsheet. So using this with Vinnie. Mark also made a very nice Photoshopped papal blessing prop.
Out of character quotes:
In character quotes:
Special kudos needs to go to Marina talking about her missing date, which I will attempt to replicate....
Then later with Barry....