Scott started a check-in thread for the ill on the Evita Facebook (no need to text anyone to check on them any more, I guess....I feel sad about that but know to take a hint). So far everyone is still testing positive for Covid on day 5 :( Scott and Brunette Sierra and Sage are doing okay-ish/improving, Blonde Sierra still feels awful :( I have no idea if the show will still go on ten days from now if/when everyone still tests positive and/or still feels too ill to perform. Steve said everyone had to do a rapid on the day of the show, so...yeah, I dunno here if a lot of them still show up positive on the rapids and from what I hear, they can't take a PCR for months after that (though Ashley somehow did and tested clear doing that). God knows I've read up on that topic on the CDC website and I'm STILL confused. I'd REALLY LIKE TO SAY CAN EVERYONE HAVE MASKS ON FOR THIS PERFORMANCE EVEN ON THE STAGE but I don't think anyone's gonna listen to me on that, even NOW.

That professor I used to want to be friends with back in the day? Definitely got exposed, has symptoms, probably has it. I posted on her blog that it could take days to test positive so um, she should probably assume she has it :( I was considering going to her standup show on Friday and then lazed out about that, and that was her exposure day, so um...maybe better not to go, I guess.

I had an online chat again with Meg, Jade, and Doreen. Doreen finally found a house to move to in Vallejo and got all these signs about it. Meg's other son Michael got his "dream job" somehow and is making enough bank to buy a house here, of all places. Jade is having heart surgery and then is flying to California for a few weeks and they want me to come visit Santa Cruz (and apparently are willing to risk being around the likes of dangerous me...also I won't be doing theater in June). On the bad side, Jade and Meg started in on the "love yourself!" thing AGAIN, I reacted poorly AGAIN, I pissed Jade off AGAIN, I got off Zoom. I really wish I could ask her to not go there. I'm so sick to death of being myself and it's not awesome to be me in a personality/body/whatever that doesn't fit with the rest of the world and people are always telling me how bad I am. "Love myself" is not going to happen. Period. Ever. Not unless I somehow end up living on an island and having no contact with people, anyway.

Then I went to the grocery store, got myself a bunch of girly alcohol in cans, and I'M GONNA SPEND THE AFTERNOON DRUNK ON THE PATIO AGAIN, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. I considered going to see the Doctor Strange movie and then looked at the plot of it and thought "Um...this sounds gross with a bunch of exploding heads, and no," so I got nothing I feel like doing (well, I wanna go yarn shopping, but um...gonna skip that this weekend). I wrote up book reviews and wrote a loooooooooong letter to Cameron about Teh Drama.

Upon checking the FB page again: Isaiah said he tested positive YESTERDAY....that is not 10 days for him to do the next show.... and E??n, while still negative, isn't comfortable doing the show that soon after the outbreak and is quitting lights under the circumstances. Steve said if Isaiah can't test negative Friday, there's no show. Which figures. This thing is doomed. Oh well.

I am straight up depressed and kinda crying today. Evita isn't even my favorite show to do ever (like kinda in the bottom for things I personally do in it being not that interesting), but I hate that it looks like we won't be able to reunite one last time, finish it off properly, etc. and that I'm freaking out about everyone still being sick and Isaiah getting it after FIVE days and who's going to get long covid (I would bet money it's Scott, to be honest, what with the "catches everything"-ness of him) and....waaaaaaaaaaah. I can't concentrate on other things really and the alcohol I am drinking ain't nearly enough.

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