Chaos Attraction

Pride and Prejudice, CW Version

2022-05-30, 4:25 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

So, in "you schedule a vacation and life jinxes it in the 2020's," Jade just came down with another heart ailment. I definitely don't get the specifics of it, but suffice it to say at least half of her planned vacation and going to see concerts and the like is at least somewhat canceled to get heart surgery ASAP. So far she sounds like she may try to do the weekend I was going to go down there, but I would presume at this point that it's likely to get canceled, because 2020's. At this point it's like, all you can do is throw up your hands and go WHATEVER I GIVE UP 2020's. As usual, we'll see.

Regarding Saturday's drama, I found this "helpful" article from the NYT on what happens if you still test positive on day 10.It was not very helpful and was all "20-25% of people do this, they may or may not be actually infectious, hell if we know, shrug emoji!" and doctors don't agree on shit. FOR FUCKITY FUCK'S SAKE.

I read a review online for a show called Zoey's Perfect Wedding, thought "I would totally watch this," and it turns out it's streaming starting today! Huzzah! So I'm attempting to watch this outside on my laptop to enjoy the weather...AND OF COURSE EVERY POSSIBLE LAWN MOWING MACHINE HAS JUST REVVED UP FIVE MINUTES INTO THIS. So, y'know, it's your usual wedding drama: bride having a breakdown, wedding planner/guest having a breakdown.... This one features a gay guy going on in pretty great detail about having a threesome with his boyfriend and some other dude and pie is involved. Later he starts comparing gay sex to straight sex and how gay sex is different. See below about the buttsecks:

"You guys are using the original parts. Factory settings. We're working with a major hardware hack. Gay sex, way harder than straight sex." "It's the difference between the special of the day and the only thing on the menu." "We're using this modified equipment that is VERY TEMPERAMENTAL, whose primary use is to execute the least alluring activity of the day, and requires genuine preparation to become a nightclub after dark."

I note the show is set in 2008 and it's VERY 2008 at times, like not being able to get gay married, or jobs, or an iPhone. I liked it though: Zoey's wedding is a bit trashed and at a crap location since her dad lost his money, gay porn gets shown to all including the groom's redneck relatives, Rachel and Charlie's marriage is eroding since he cheated on her, Sammy's pondering commitment since his boyfriend got a job with the Obama administration, and the bride's cousin starts getting pissed at/hanging out with the DJ. Most of it resolves happily, though Rachel and Charlie are left a bit up in the air.

Today's texting/phone calls:

I got asked to go see Pride and Prejudice with Debbie/Rae/Ashley yesterday, but I was occupied. Glad I didn't go with them now because Ashley said she and Rae talked the whole time and had no idea what the play was about. Sheeeeesh.

Texted Scott and Arielle a recap of The Play That Goes Wrong, which they seemed to appreciate at least. Mentioned that I saw Noises Off is playing in Rocklin next week, but that is apparently too far away. (Which, legit.)

Mom called a few times, said she wants to go on vacation with me for a week (I said um, I had to turn in vacation requests for the summer last week, too late now, sorry....frankly that is true, but may also be me freaking out at the idea of going anywhere for a week), and started talking about her not-nice boss who killed herself and how the boss told her that if she went on antidepressants* it would ruin her medical record and she could never get another job again. Mom thought this was really tragic that the lady was afraid to "get help" and ended up killing herself. I said that well, I have heard stories about once you go on antidepressants you can't get insurance from anywhere else again and I've heard if you're open about depression at a job you may lose the job, so that's kinda legit. She was all "bosses wouldn't have done that," which, yeah, probably not, but I can see why the lady was concerned. I pointed out that she killed herself while in a mental institution and Mom was all "too late," and I was all, "I dunno there."

* Mom got prescribed a few, got headaches, said "I'm not THAT depressed," and quit them.


Tonight I went to see Pride and Prejudice as done by Acme Theater (the teen theater company). This was ... quite surprising. I note that this theater required masks even though we were out side, and the actors had them all on too. MUCH MORE SENSIBLE THAN ANY OF THE ADULTS THESE DAYS, I MUST SAY.

They had 21 in this or so, dividing up the show between two casts and having each cast do half the shows (a few overlapped). I was rather disappointed once I saw the list of the other show and saw that the kid who played Michael in Mary Poppins was in that one--I bet he was a hoot. Darn it.
Even though they were having SO MANY KIDS TO DO THIS SHOW, they doubled a few characters--Jane/Miss deBourgh, Lydia/servant, Bingley/Collins. The first two make sense, but that last one was particularly weird because they didn't bother to change the kid's distinctively long blonde hair and it was really weird watching the actor ah, change affections, as it were. There is no Kitty in the play.
Now, I have seen Pride and Prejudice: The Play before (I think most recently in 2019), and from what I recall of that, it was pretty well faithful to the book and the lines and the behaviors of the characters and whatnot. THIS ONE, however, felt like "Pride and Prejudice, as written for The CW." It kinda smacked of watching "Reign," and I was NOT expecting that. Upon Googling, yes, there's several play versions, this one being by Kate Hamill. Whodis? Apparently she's a Big Deal playwright I haven't heard of. See below for further comments.

For whatever reason, apparently the director (who I know, hi, Emily) was feeling obsessed with ABBA, as the show started out with a straight up rendition of "Waterloo," followed by all instrumental versions of "Mamma Mia," "Dancing Queen," "Take A Chance On Me," etc. This ah, definitely added to the "feels like I'm watching Reign again" flavor.

AND THEN THERE'S THE PLAY. Weird things I saw in it:

(a) One of the girls puts a pillow out ahead of time for Mrs. Bennet (the girl playing her was VERY HAPPILY EATING SCENERY) to fall over onto.

(b) The girls actually sing an extremely strange song twice .I wrote it down the second time: "Chest and buns and dulcet tones, no one wants to die alone." DA FUCK?

(c) Both adult girls and boys play with a giant rubber ball clearly from the modern era.

(d) Lydia is 14 in this one and drunk on rum punch.

(e) Darcy's crotch is attacked (with water and a ball) twice. Mrs. B actually spills water deliberately on said crotch and is SUPER BLUNT about her intentions here.

(f) Caroline blows a raspberry.

(g) Actual lines:
"Mr. Bingley, sit, stay! Good boy!" -Darcy
"Mr. Wickham, I have a naughty proposition for you." -Lydia
"Elizabeth Marie Bennet--" "That's not my middle name." -Collins and Lizzie "
"You locked me in a closet." -Mary to Lydia
"He lurves me. He lurves me not." -Miss deBourgh

(h) Mrs. Bennet SPANKS JANE'S ASS.

(i) Mrs. B seriously just throws screaming shit fits in this show, like a lot. Since we were outside and there's a playground nearby, I'd hear screams from there and wonder if it was more of Mrs. Bennet.

(j) At one point Mr. Bennet literally chases everyone else out of the room while ringing a bell.

It was really bizarre. This was much more hang-loosey-goosey than I was expecting from this show. So weird. I'm really not sure what to make of it.


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