2019-06-10, 9:38 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
This day was filled with death.
Let’s start with the fun one first: Hamster Girl has lost another hamster again. This time it was pretty well frozen dead when she found it, and she immediately snuck it out and found replacement number three, now named “Juanita.” Her four-year-old continues not to notice the difference, including how her mom is renaming the hamster.
So far first hamster lasted 32 days and this one lasted two months. Hamster Girl said she’d considered just saying this one died and not getting more, but she spent $35 on a quiet wheel and by god, she was gonna get her money’s worth of that.
Someday when her kid finds out the truth of all of this, her kid will laugh and laugh.
On the less fun death side, we came into work today to find out that our previous SuperBigBoss (his retirement party is mentioned here died over the weekend. He retired ten months ago and seemed to be in perfect health whenever anyone saw him afterwards, so this was not expected. Nobody said how he died, but they called an emergency meeting starting DURING OPENING OFFICE HOURS (unheard of!) for this so I started fearing that maybe he’d been murdered or something. No, it was just about 15 minutes of mourning. We all felt so badly for his assistant/”partner in crime,” I don’t think anyone could say anything after she went.
He was a super nice guy and will be missed.
We also had the newest New Girl start today, and I wish her all the luck in the world and that she doesn’t burn out too quickly. She wanted out of her last job because it didn’t have enough people and she was working remotely alone--this should change THAT. The replacement SuperBigBoss, who hasn’t started QUITE yet but has occasionally visited, came by today to see how we were all doing and introduce himself now that we’re actually here in the office (he came by during staff picnic day time). It was Lioness’s first day NOT on counter any more and when this was mentioned to New SuperBigBoss, who used to run an office like this, she said “I burned out at the front counter.” New SuperBigBoss’s reaction was to bug out his eyes and say, “Nooooooooo!”
I think he will make an excellent replacement.