2019-06-19, 6:43 a.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Last night's karaoke:
All the dudes didn’t go, so it was just Sarah and me hanging out with Shirley and her daughter Nelly. Nelly has decided she really likes me and my singing and my outfits because I am always so cheerful and showed me some music to check out later. (Nelly also amusingly doesn’t like hearing her mom singing and puts in her own headphone when that goes on--she says her mom likes depressing songs.) Shirley has a long and incomplete list of the songs she’s sung at karaoke, and she seems to go all over the place to do them. I should have her write down all the places she mentions to me sometime or other.
Sarah gave me some flowers (lavender that she left on my car) and we decided to be BFF’s forever, basically :) She thinks we knew each other in a past life and I asked “how can you tell?” because I spent years trying to figure out that sort of thing. She said it’s in the eyes. Well, she has more of the psychic thing going on than I do these days. I also asked her (since no one was around to hear me asking noob-y questions about things I feel like I should know) about who’s with who and got very unexpectedly detailed answers I would not have guessed. My, my, theater people.
I sang some Gloria Estefan that nobody’s heard in years, Bad Liar (that one went very well, actually) and Counting Stars. I don’t have the voice for that song, but it was fun to do and I got compliments. Per reading Turn Around, Bright Eyes, I am trying to figure out my karaoke doppelganger, which I suspect is some bubblegum pop star girl. Probably Carly Rae.
I saw Jim from a distance-ish--he was there with his daughter who’s maybe around 12-ish and...I guess his ex-wife, according to Shirley, who said he’s been dating up a storm. So who knows there. The daughter was cute singing, though.
However: Sarah filled up her large water bottle at the beer tap at some point, and around 10-ish she vaguely muttered something about a cigarette, picked up her purse and wandered out the door, leaving her hat and water bottle behind. I reasonably assumed she was probably wandering around outside smoking pot or was on the phone or something (per cast party #1), but she never came back in, did not respond to the phone, etc. and then karaoke ended. All I could do at that point was shrug, grab her stuff and pitch it in my car, and leave, assuming she did...I don’t know what.
This morning, she texted me to say she blacked out while drunk and apparently she thought I had driven her home as we had planned. I said uh, no, you disappeared. Apparently she walked herself back to her car and drove home--fortunately it’s a small town, probably no traffic out, everything pretty close together, etc. and nothing happened. But....YEAH, CONCERNED NOW. She said she hadn’t done that since May and uh....yeah. Had a conversation with a coworker who’s in AA about this when I got to work and she said I should probably be keeping an eye on her if she wanders out again.
As for today, work was stressful again, albeit not as quite as suck as yesterday. We were all supposed to make nagging phone calls to big shots today asking, “Do you need any help?” and my boss went around asking about people’s workloads and when I said I was drowning, she let me off the hook. THANK GOD because from what I heard of the phone calls, they were just as bad as I knew they would be, and the people actually needed help, and I had no effing idea how to help them with any of it. I would have been wishing for death by 10 a.m. I was still mildly crabby/overwhelmed and drowning at people, but could have been worse.
Also, nobody reported me for saying anything that pissed anyone off, though someone did say, “Remember how you talked about something sexy?” just as BigBoss walked by. For the record, the “sexy” was my reading a newsletter and noticing that one big shot listed in it had a super unfortunate last name and then chose to go by “Dick.” This was so bad a name you’d expect it to be used in an 80’s frat boy movie...but it was not sexy!
Tonight went well though. I haven’t been to writer’s group since TnT started, and happily it was just us girls (Melanie, Melinda and I) since everyone else didn’t show. This worked out great because we had a lot of stuff to talk about that probably shouldn’t be discussed around the guys. For example, Melinda’s best friend Wally apparently did not react well to finding out she had another international internet boyfriend so that’s been awkward since...
Then we got into some super interesting conversation (well, at least to me and Melinda, Melanie wasn’t too into it for like an hour until we changed subjects to something she’d be into, about us all being outsider weirdos) about whether or not I should move on doing a particular thing that I said I am reluctant to do right now. I don’t think it’s the right time for that yet and needs some more time to bake and debate, basically. Whereas Melinda is all, “well, I may debate about stuff, but once I decide I just jump in the deep end.” She did not really get why I am not just going for it right now if I’m interested. I said that I think if I went for that Right Now it wouldn’t work out, but if I give it some time to percolate and whatnot it might. The situation needs development and right now things are premature.. Also, I dunno on just jumping in whole hog at times. I do tend to be the person who thinks out what the problems might be ahead of time and whether or not I can deal with them if they come up. I’m not sure I want to go whole hog yet, exactly. I’m toying with the idea in my brain at this point and as long as I don’t force anything, I can still have the time and space to do that.. So I insist on waiting and seeing.
Around that point, Melinda said that she lives an “out of the box life” and she’s made decisions that other people have thought were weird, like marrying her ex-husband after barely meeting him and all that and now the internet boyfriend. Regarding the ex, she said, “It was a sane decision. I was really lonely, I wanted to move on with my life, he was willing....”
I said maybe she might be the most interesting woman in the world, hah.