Chaos Attraction

Super Shady and the Pallet

2018-06-21, 7:53 p.m.

So I have been in need of reordering a bunch of custom large labeled envelopes least March, I think? I contacted our usual company like I did last year and... uh, no, instead of our usual contact person I got some strange lady who was all, "As I told you last year, we no longer can do this for you easy-peasy, now we need to get everything custom ordered and it will take 4 to 6 weeks and cost you more money." For the record, strange lady DID NOT tell me this at any time. I looked it up. My boss was all, wait, how much is this going to cost as opposed to what we used to pay, but somehow nobody was able to actually tell us that and strange lady dodged the question. Long tedious story short, he said "hey, let's go with another company and see if we can get envelopes from THEM."

So our office manager, a buddy of mine, got on this and ordered some...which again, now takes 4 to 6 weeks. After a while (you'll notice it's June now....) I started to wonder if these were ever going to arrive. I had office manager check and ... oh, hm, they tried to deliver it a week ago, to Sacramento. And they're supposed to be delivering them again either/both Sacramento or here, thanks tracking information! Um, what? Suffice it to say they did not show up on the day.

Office manager contacted them again and found out that they said they couldn't deliver it "because of construction." While yes, the joke here is that everything here is under construction, this is NOT the case for any of the nearest parking lots to our building. Or for that matter, most of the parking lots at all. This struck us as sounding bogus. But FINE, they will deliver it tomorrow.

Today the dude showed up and, to quote the office manager, "seemed super sketchy." And she barely talked to him. I was raised on redneck humor and lemme tell ya, you don't see a guy like this in California usually. This guy looked straight outta every Lewis Grizzard book I ever read. This amused me in general, but then...

(a) He told me about his elevator phobia, which I was fine with but wondered how well that went over in his job delivering large things. I guess he sucks it up then.

(b) Since none of our doors are big enough for "the pallet" to go through, he was only gonna deliver the boxes as far as the door.

(c) Oh, and after I unloaded the boxes myself (note: had I but known I was going to haul a ton of large, rather dirty boxes today, I woulda worn something different than a new shiny dress and fancy scarf) he said he wasn't going to pick up the pallet because that's not his job, he just delivers. Dealing with the pallet is (my company)'s problem and my problem, not his!

This is pretty much par for the course with my life.

So I hauled a bunch of large, heavy dirty boxes off the pallet and through security door #1, then through security door #2... random strangers working in the office where the storage room is were far more helpful at holding the doors open, and then I had to haul them all into security door #3. Seventeen very dirty boxes, y'all. I wish I could have waited a few more hours until my student assistant came in, but I knew someone would throw a fit in about five minutes if everything wasn't cleared out immediately.

Well, I got that done and then OMG the pallet was left, which I know someone is gonna throw a fit about at some point. So I went back in and told the office manager, who rolled her eyes so far back her eyeballs disappeared at all these shenanigans, then called someone to complain about this dicey shipping company and how I got forced to haul boxes in 90 degree heat (again, par for the course here) and how well, dude won't pick up stuff. Then she said she was going to call facilities, at which point I left so I don't know how that went.

The pallet is still there, by the way. I expect someone will track me down to complain about it at any moment tomorrow.

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