Chaos Attraction

Too Hot To Memorize

2022-06-21, 7:53 p.m.

In local news: yesterday's roaming suspect was caught and my county is now the fourth most filled with covid in the state. NorCal is officially beating SoCal in the Covid Wars...wheeeeeeee.

On the one hand, I actually got told "you rock!" at work for getting shit done. On the other hand, it was one of those tedious crap days and I really wished people would stop asking me hard shit I don't know the answer to. I have been doing Tedious Awful Shit for ten years now. I am the longest lasting one on it that hasn't retired. I should be THE EXPERT in this at GiantOrg...and I have never, ever understood this shit no matter how often I've read and reread the instructions. SIGH.

Therapy today: I brought up the weekend's drama and inner child crappity, and how I can't stand to "think big."

After work, I skipped karaoke to do another paid mystery rehearsal (paid! to rehearse! I'm not sure how this works but at least there's a timesheet!), then fucked up my time card because I managed to clock in and out at the same time. Emeri supplied me with a corrective Excel spreadsheet, which hopefully takes care of it.

It was the gangster show again, this time rehearsing people who are doing it tomorrow: Christopher (a lead dude), Thomas, Alicia again, and a girl named Claire were the ones doing it tomorrow. Brendan and I were back doing suspects, as well as a girl named Genevieve (I guess she's more Bay Area than the rest of us) who Emeri raved about her playing of the 8-year-old/assassin, and indeed, she lived up to expectations. Her Polly Pocket as a kid was hilarious and hugging a stuffed animal, and then she went creepy and pulling out a sword for the assassin bit. I read the killer tonight, so that was mildly fun. Last night I read the detective and the assassin, for comparison. I will say I feel kind of bad for the killer because she did it for reasons that end up being ah...not true, we'll say? Poor lady.

Emeri said that this bunch had it rough because the people booking the show apparently didn't pick WHICH show until the dead last minute, and picked the hardest one. Claire was knocking it out of the park. She didn't have the script memorized but was doing a pretty good job of improvising it from scratch as the lead female character. I hope I can manage that. I mostly think I helped by doing tech support for Claire, since HER sound mysteriously went out like mine did last week, and I pointed out that you can just call in. So that worked, huzzah.

I am still having trouble memorizing the table speech, and I have to substitute out "thief" for "killer" ("culprit," is mostly what I am trying to go with). Emeri is pretty much all "just get the important details" about these things, which is a great attitude to take (seriously, Emeri is a peach and exactly the kind of murder mystery director you'd want) but I am feeling pretty doofy about not remembering everything. I've had fucking weeks to do it and I've been drilling off and on for two months, but pretty lackadaisically, pretty much on "go into work" days. I also probably should have downloaded the script sooner, but I couldn't get it to work until the end of last week, which is why I have not been so great on these things. I am not sure how memorized it's supposed to be as a host (note: more like 2nd-in-command character, a fake suspect, does some of the public stuff) but I should probably know it better than I am doing.

It's also hot as balls out there, so my usual method of "walk around and memorize lines" was a wee bit unpleasant to do tonight, even for the likes of me who likes it hot. Very stagnant/muggy-ass air out there. My brain wants to like ESCAPE and not focus on memorization right now, which isn't helping. I think it's going to be waaaaaaaaay too hot to sleep yet again, not that I slept at all last night, sigh. I should just be up memorizing all night long, shouldn't I.

I also should be working on my audition song, but I think I may ask Morgan which one to do tomorrow. I've got four "light" songs for that sort of thing.

I'm trying to decide if I want to see Music Man and Bye Bye Birdie this weekend--Friday for the first and Sunday for the second. Or just do it next weekend when I'm not working on any lines or song stuff and I'm not going out of town for that three day weekend (if I get into Beauty and the Beast they will probably start rehearsing then). It needs to be one of those two weekends, at least. DTMC is once again begging for ushers and I don't WANNA usher. Pretty much because I don't wanna wear a black and white uniform outfit (I know, it's stupid. I note that for murder mystery I'm going to get a T-shirt--but come on, who doesn't want a murder mystery shirt?! That's actually cool.) or actually do work, I would rather pay money and park myself in the back and hide and wear clothes with style. I'm not that picky when I see BBB, per se, but I am considering that it's kind of better to go to DMTC this Friday on opening night (free cake night, at least). Then again, given how that show was behind on rehearsing due to covid, maybe it'll be better if I go later :P Or they all get covid again, who knows..."go to show before everyone gets covid" is A Thing now.

I think I am going to feel sad/weirded out at both shows for not being in them. I miss people but at the same time will feel all left out and sad and weird and waaaaaaaaah about everything.

I admit I'm nervous about seeing Scott and Arielle together as a couple onstage again...probably doing what he does with me, being together after the show, me feeling like left out chicken fried shit, as I well deserve to. SIGH. I miss him but know I am going to feel bad watching the whole thing and them together as a couple, left out of it all.

I know he doesn't miss me. Or even think about me much when I'm not there, given previous experience. I really hate being the one who cares more here.


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