Chaos Attraction

Kind Of A Roadkill Week

2005-06-23, 8:42 p.m.

I'd title this "Roadkill Week", except it's obvious worse weeks are to come in my future.

Anyway. I have spent most of this week all worn out, stressed out, stir crazy, and/or bored out of my mind. Not a good combination.

First, there was another bad weekend at the parents' house. Then there was a death in the family. And on top of that, my usually peaceful job is the worst place to recuperate from such events. (And did they all have to discuss people having horrible injuries at golf courses today?)

This is my most stressful week at work in all my years of working here. One person's leaving, we've got a temporary person, meetings and lunches, massive noisy construction going on, and really bloody long lectures I'm having to sit through. It's been years since I had to sit through anything more than an hour and a half, tops, and it's kinda killing me. I can't bloody wait until Friday at 5 p.m.

The memorial service was today at 2 p.m. I absolutely couldn't get off work, and Mom couldn't go because (say it with me) Dad's too handicapped to go. She's talked to me every day this week about how bad she feels for not being able to go.

We're both worried about Janelle continuing to live in a place where she doesn't have any friends and er, encourages destructive behavior. Especially when her life's just been shredded. So we end up discussing how maybe she should move back home. On the one hand, she'd have my mom to talk to (they really like each other) about this stuff, and maybe she could help out with Dad. (Yes, I am perhaps biased about that one.) On the other hand, living in the same town as her parents is a very bad thing. Then we discuss how maybe she should move back in with Grandma and take care of them instead. Then I think, "Why the hell are we trying to stick her with all the caretaking we don't want to do, when we don't know if she'd even want to in the first place?" Maybe it'd be a distraction, I dunno. Hell, this is all pie in the sky and while she'll probably lose her house, I doubt she'll ever leave Reno.

Like I said, kind of a downer week.

I really wish I could go on vacation. Right. Now.

But I've pretty much decided not to take any vacation time this year. I probably should be saving it for when crisises come up with Dad- they'll probably suck all of my time, and I don't want to get hosed on pay, and I can't use sick pay for something like that.

Which is incredibly depressing. But better I do that than I go off and have fun for awhile and then be fucked when I have to take two weeks off to pick Mom up off the floor later.

Besides, I don't feel right taking a vacation when she can't any more.


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