Aftermath, Music, Dreamscape
2020-06-26, 11:39 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
This was an aftermath-y day. I spent the morning actually doing work, shocker. I heard from Coworker Sarah off and on throughout the day. She had a meeting with the boss at 8:30, which sounds like it went well, more of the same about hopefully there will be another job and I'll help you practice, etc.
The smoke alarm has been replaced. The repair guy got here at 11:15, I told him I was unlocking the door and give me till the count of 10 to go to the other side of the apartment, he came in and replaced it and was out the door in a few minutes. Whew.
At lunch, I held Yarn Club and we had one other person, Other Jennifer (yeah, that's how my life goes). I hadn't seen her between the shutdown and last week, but when I got in, I was still ranting about the whole work situation. And that's when I found out that....well, she's kinda bored of her nice quiet job and wanted a team job and applied for THIS job in my office. AWKWARD. Also awkward that I had to tell her that she didn't get an interview. But after I ah, explained in great detail as to why my office is a trainwreck, hopefully she doesn't feel so bad? Mostly she just sounds concerned because her job was budget cut in 2008 and she got the job when it came back in 2012. Well, not much I can do about that..
In the afternoon, I had a surprise meeting scheduled on me with my boss....and then surprise Grandboss. Imagine my reaction to that one. And it started out with a long letter detailing every one of my fuckups since January, and phone numbers of ah, places to call for assistance, and a list of five classes to take at work--I am perfectly happy to do those, mind you! Though it does mean that ah, no work gets done.... well, that's on them. And it had a nice ending, I'll say that. And then it progressed into a normal work meeting regarding "is there any way we could fix the horrible technical crap so that Jen doesn't have to type all of it manually and others can get their shit together so we don't have to spend $300/pop on people who didn't get their shit together?" And then it morphed into how Grandboss acquired a raccoon under her trailer while she was gone for months and how she got rid of it by playing super annoying noises in the crawl space for a few hours, and how she's going to spend the weekend trying to clean out raccoon poop down there.
For those wondering about karma: she's spending the weekend cleaning up raccoon poop. I told this to Coworker Sarah and she said, "I'm surprised she didn't hire someone with a college degree to do that." We then discussed how we do find boss and grandboss likable in general, and then they well, do stuff.... Like my mom, really.
Quotes from the meeting:
Anyway, while we were recapping our days, Sarah got a Slack message....from BIG BOSS, wanting to Zoom with her. Unprecedented! I got off the line with her, then briefly back on when she was done and reported back that Big Boss said she'd heard very nice things about the work Sarah's done here, and she's also willing to help her with interview practice. Wowza. (If only she'd overrule Grandboss....) Sarah said she didn't know how she was supposed to act in an internal interview--do you assume they know your work and what you're talking about, or not? I said it's a weird netherworld between "pretend they don't know but secretly you do." Then she got off the line again because she Slacked our boss to mention this and then they got on Zoom.
So that was the day....
After work, I did an online 90's music karaoke party where they put the video/lyrics on the screen and had group singalong, admitting it's going to be mad because everyone's Internet is different. Small crowd, but I think everyone enjoyed it. I got choked up singing "Collide" and the more romantic stuff, sigh. It ended with "Hold On," which is a nice note to go out on.
And now I am watching The Sound of Music this weekend.
I was texting with Shanna last night about texting Scott: She said she was glad he was alive, albeit in an overworked state. She asked if he was utterly not going to do plays any more (or at least, was he being adamant about it) and I indicated not exactly, but if he's working that much... she said he sounded drained. I agreed, but what can I do? "Just let him know. He needs emotions and love." .... Yeah, but I can't exactly do that stuff under the circumstances. I said I need to think out what to do here, ethically, such as should I leave him alone and not be a further drain. Shanna said to not ask him questions, just send "sensations** and stories. and pretty things you see. Be light. Yep, don't drain him. Either leave alone. Or offer to his emotional body.**"
* Note: I was texting four people in one go last night, also talking about Person A with Person B (relating Sarah's work drama) and then talking about Person B with Person C (yes, I finally got up the nerve to text him), and I managed to not mix up any of the texts with anyone. I thwarted any bad sitcom!
I'm still trying to figure out all of that, albeit some of this was going on at 7:45 this morning before work and god knows my brain is not in gear then. She followed up with "Try to feel things and feel what he needs. Thinking is too much sometimes. He needs a hug."
.... I fucking WISH, y'all.
We actually had a Zoom conversation trying to brainstorm how to have a more personal conversation with him when he is exhausted and doesn’t have much to say. Shanna is very...in the ether, on this, I must say? She talks in concepts like “be a garden” or let things bloom slowly or “be mist” or “talk like you’re in a dreamscape” and stuff like that that sounds good in theory but in practicality, I can’t figure out how to execute. She said not to be too much always the person who’s just telling jokes, stuff like that... Sometime I may try to write it all up for thishere journal (my notes are hella sketchy), but good god, it’s all hard to describe. I very much need advice on this topic but still feel stumped and confused.