Chaos Attraction

I Wish She Wouldn't Ask (Again)

2020-06-29, 11:50 p.m.

At today's meeting, we found out that there was a "close call" at the House of Lioness, as somebody's somebody's employer or something (I lost track of the degrees of separation) got it, and Penguin Girl's sister in SoCal was going to come visit, but now her boyfriend's mom has it. Coworker Sarah was out this morning going to a funeral (!) and then having a job interview. She said it went well, they were nice. Per Murphy's Law as to what is the possible worst thing that can happen to this office and/or me, I assume she will get the job and I will be left alone to train the eventual winner. Coworker Sarah called me in between things to check in and was glad she hadn't had to go to the morning meeting. Her sister already had to go deal with Grandboss in person today, so....whee.

Someone dropped a dire-on-fire emergency into the group email box late on Friday, which obviously we did not get to due to Shit Going On, and then they were all mad it hadn't happened "immediately." Yeah, well, you know what? We can't do anything immediately any more.

Other than that, I didn't get enough done, but I tried. Spent the afternoon in training again, showing my boss and Coworker Sarah how to do a thing. Boss was in and out, seeing Tigress dropping off her computer, she came by to say hi and went by Sarah's for cake. My boss said that they hugged anyway even though they're not supposed to do. I don't even know what to say to that.

I got asked to do a poll for the California State Fair--what things at the fair are important to you, how much do you spend, etc. Then it gets to how likely would you have been to go to the fair if we'd had it open while COVID 19 was going on this year and I said "certainly not attend" even though I've gone every years since I could drive. Then they asked how likely would you be to attend in the future if: (a) mass gatherings had been declared safe to attend, (b) mass gatherings had been happening and were proven safe for 6 months and (c) A vaccine was readily available and mass gatherings were completely safe? I confess I felt very happy reading those last few. I marked "likely to attend" for the first (probably because I assume some miracle has happened) and "certain to" for the second and third. Then their poll refused to work/finish multiple times, so fuck it.

The gym sent a long list of "sign up for times to come in, no group fitness, we're going to swab everything down, wear masks" instructions. Yeah, no.

I spent the night browsing through things to do on on Friday since I have the day off and can actually do the daytime activities, so that's pretty cool. Signed up for a bunch of workshops, a virtual "3rd of July" and an improv show.

But: you know how Evan wanted to go see Roger, and then Mom asked if she could see me, and I said no and she took the no at the time and Roger said no, and I thought this fucking question was all settled? NO! IT'S NOT! IT'S BACK AGAIN! Roger is debating it again! SHE STILL WANTS TO COME OVER (to avoid Evan, though I am unsure if she is going to do a two week quarantine from Roger if he goes through with it, I know she's been told to do it) and drop stuff off, says she'll wear a mask and stand outside and wear gloves and hug me if I want to try it and etc. etc.

Thing is, I can't think of any argument someone else can make to me right now that makes me think it's okay to see a human. I can count on one hand now the number of times I've had humans anywhere near me enough to breathe or in my apartment airspace: (a) going to my HMO for the shot (b) having to get groceries delivered (c) smoke alarm incident, (d) smoke alarm being replaced. I'm not okay with any of that shit but I had to. I don't feel like it'll be okay if she and I stand around outdoors over six feet apart (I'm not exactly understandable to hear under the mask(s) either, which means yelling, which means droplets....).

Yes, I'm aware that we are probably the safest people around. I think my mom was last around her now-former coworkers a few weeks ago or at least she'd be out of a two week wait by the 4th. I'm not out of a two week wait from having the repair guy in my apartment. I literally had on two masks and hid in the back of my apartment until he left and I never even saw him, If I was rational and reasonable, which I'm not, I'd go for it. Y'know, except for the part where if I keep her six feet or more apart I'll feel like a complete asshole and if I get nearer I will hug her and I will end up crying all over her and becoming a biohazard. Either way I don't think anyone feels good about seeing each other. Possibly literally physically. I already had one parent die on a ventilator.

I just did a gigantic Internet rant in a discussion about all of the answers to your "can I do X in coronavirus" questions being no. Nothing is certain, everything is changing, you can't control the behavior of others, how the hell ethically can I be expected to vet what is "okay?"

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