Chaos Attraction

Another Awful Day, Let's Watch Baby Yoda

2020-07-08, 8:35 p.m.

I got in trouble AGAIN today. Lioness reported on me. She scheduled a meeting, told me I could leave it to work on other things about fifteen minutes in, and then reported on me and I got in trouble for leaving the meeting early. (Uh....????) I got yelled at for saying things like "I'm supposed to be prioritizing X" (specifically when asked what I was supposed to be prioritizing) because they just decided they don't care about it. I pointed out that people are on timelines for this and they are losing their minds, and they didn't CARE. I'm not saying I"m right. I'm wrong, I'm always wrong. But digging up my job description from 6 years ago and telling me that the area of the office I run alone should only be taking up 30 percent of my time (these days it's more like 70 percent, ALSO DID I MENTION I RUN IT ALONE NOW), and not listening to me when I pointed this out, is ridiculous. That's not even my most updated job description, my boss two bosses ago updated it, but they didn't have that one. Oh, and reviews are coming!

SERIOUSLY I JUST WANT TO STOP EXISTING. I am losing my mind. I cannot problem solve everything any more. Literally my brain is not working well at this. I can't keep doing this and I have no choice and I wouldn't hire me either even before this and now I'm just a complete shithead wreck. I can't learn another job, I can't get another job, I can't do anything. I can't keep living without this job and once I lose this job, I won't survive anyway.

Back to drinking. I'm drinking vodka in the dark. I don't even like vodka and I don't know why I have tiny travel bottles of it in my house, but drinking it I shall do, because nothing else makes life better any more. Fortunately, my evening plans got canceled so I can drink and drink and drink! I hate my life and I don't want to be in it any more!

I was watching this video on how this dating coach finally got a boyfriend and she was talking about how they'd have conversations for hours into the night, and you know what? I've never bloody had that with any guy. Not this one either. I have that with Shanna. Why can't I ever find that with someone I could theoretically boink someday? Why can't it just be easy like that? Why all this fucking stupid drama and avoidance?

Okay, fine, I am so emo I can't stand myself, so I watched the rest of The Mandalorian.

The Mandalorian, Episode 3, "The Sin."
Mando turns a baby in. Ouch.
So....everyone just calls him Mando, then?
I don't really get the whole Mandalorian cult thing. I'm assuming it's a cult.
"Why would an enemy help you in battle?" "It did not know it was my enemy." That is so sad.
Did he just say, "Buy a Captain Old Spice?!"
Well, it's nice to know that somebody cares about a toddler in the Evil Empire.
That was simple and we hardly even see the baby in this one though, so that's disappointing. Like, he was so well behaved and not even wiggling during the rescue?

Episode 4, "Sanctuary."
Here is a kid trying to catch a frog. This seems ominous for the frog.
And then, never mind, the village is attacked.
"Nobody's gonna find us here." YA JUST JINXED IT.
"YOU STAY, DON'T MOVE," ditto.
Space cat!
"You want some soup?" You wanna feed him? Go find one of those frogs.
"Bad news. You can't live here any more."
This is seriously the Western Episode.
Also, seriously, the whole plot of this is to get the walker to fall in a pond?
Baby Yoda tries to eat a frog. Its new friends don't like it, so it spits it out and lets the frog get away.
Yes, we all wonder what happens if you take the helmet off.
"It's going to break his little heart." "He'll get over it. We all do." I know better and this makes me so sad anyway.
I feel like someone should be yelling "SHANE!" right now.

Episode 5: "The Gunslinger."
"I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold." What a line. "That's MY line." Kaboom!
Meet Amy Sedaris, Cranky Space Mechanic, and her team of adorable wee droids.
Mando, you left the kid alone AGAIN?!?
"And then I'm gonna charge him extra for watching you."
I'm confused at a kid who wants to get into the bounty hunter's guild so much that he'll pay someone else to get his bounty for him. Like, what the fuck? Like you can't do the job so you should get in the guild anyway? This show is so.... simplistic. Really, if not for the cute wittle baby and the freeness of my watching this (thanks, Mom!), would I be sticking with it? This kid is an idiot.
"Asleep on the job, you old man!" "Are you done?"
Don't you look cool as shit reclining on your speeder?
Seriously, this idiot is reminding me of the guy in 4th grade whose parents made his mission and then was all, "My parents made it, but I designed it." YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT YOU MORON.
I guess he's bringing her in cold, then?
Welp, that guy was smarter than one anticipated. Still not getting into the guild though!

Episode 6: "The Prisoner."
Seriously, mostly this show is just kinda unoriginal. Mando has new old friends in every episode and gets shot at.
"What's that look? Is that gratitude?" How can you TELL?
"They're the greatest warriors in the galaxy." "Then why are they all DEAD?" Uh, they're not? "
You gotta show us something." How's about a middle finger? Oh, wait, it's Disney.
Every time he "accidentally" reveals the baby.... "What is it, like some kind of pet or something?" "Yeah, something like that." God, I hope Baby Yoda bites him.
"Are you questioning my managerial style?" Yes, because you're an asshole who is getting on my nerves.
Shyeah, why were you hanging out with these fucks again?
"Nice family." Indeed.
"You killed the others." "They got what they deserved."
Hahahahahah, Baby Yoda was about to do something and then Mando shot and Baby Yoda looks at his hand like whaaaaaaaaaa.....
"What happened to the others?" "No questions asked, that was the policy, right?"
Famous last words: "What's this?"
Bwahahahahaah. "I told you that was a bad idea."
I give up. Fine, you can have your little disco ball.
I laugh at the other dumb fucks in prison.

Chapter 7: The Reckoning
I am very surprised that the guild boss actually wants to recruit Mando back.
Der, whaaaat? What is with the laser... leash...fighting....? Wait, this is how Cara is making money?
"He all right up there alone?" "Yeah." Seriously?! Baby Yoda trying to fly the ship or fix the ship? Did he cause this or what?
"We need someone to watch that thing." "Yeah." "You got someone you can trust?" GETTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER!!!!!!!!
No, he didn't get Amy Sedaris, sigh.
Waitaminute, where'd they get another floaty thing?!
"It hasn't grown much." How long has he been gone?
"The story of the mudhorn makes much more sense."
When the hell do Mandalorians EVER EAT?
So this is what all the fuss was about! "What a precious little creature!"
"I guess the little bugger's a carnivore." Wait till you see him with a frog. "Nothing can go wrong?!"
"So this is how it happens." "Don't be so dramatic."
Baby Yoda wants to help!
"Get this thing out of here!" "He's trying to eat me!" Huh?!
"On your WALL?" "Go with it."
So wait, this guy is whining that Mandalor didn't want to join their happy little empire?
"I want to see the baby." "It is asleep." "We all will be QUIET." Really?
"I must take this call?"
Awwwww. Shoulda used the droid, I guess.

Episode 8, Redemption:
"Maybe Moff wants to eat it, I don't ask questions."
This is very Those Two Guys.
The pouting over "I wanna see it!" "just killed an officer for interrupting him, so that might take a while." SO MUCH FIGHTING.
Awwwwwwww. "It's a pet or something."
NOW HE BITES! Now he punches. "Serves you right."
"I am this child's nursedroid." Well, that was delightful. I enjoyed that thrashing muchly.
"That was unpleasant. I'm sorry you had to see that."
Aw, the baby is having fun on a riiiiiide!
Baby just took out a fireball. And plopped over.
Nice loophole on the helmet thing.
"That was a joke. It was meant to put you at ease."
That fixed him up remarkably easily. And the baby didn't even do anything!
"It looks helpless."
Congratulations, you are now a father! That's adorable. "You are a clan of two."
I like how she beats them all down.
"Watch your feet, it's molten lava." "No kidding." How the hell do you boat through molten lava anyway?
Awwwww. "There is nothing to be sad about. I've never been alive."
I'm sorry you had to watch that, Baby Yoda.
"Come on, baby! Do the magic hand thing!" He tries!
Awww, baby wants a pickup! And he likes having his ear rubbed!
Jetpack isn't as fun for the baby as the speeder? He's not making as much noise.
"Why don't you hang on to that?" D'awwwwww.

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