I am just so ticked at Grandboss. She asked me a question about something (I thought I marked it off as being done, but apparently not) and as far as I could tell, interpreted it as "so-and-so wants Important Documents, why didn't you give them to her," question, when really it was "she needs to ask the lord high gods of the giant org for permission for something else, which we aren't allowed to do." (It makes sense in work context. Y'all don't really want to know the boring details.) I said it's been taken care of and gave a brief explanation of "what it looks like she asked isn't actually what she asked." I deduced that she was going through that queue and the next thing she was going to complain about was "why didn't you process X?" Answer: I'm still waiting on a response for X and the people who decide X told me this was going to take a while. So while I was at it, and figured this was the inevitable next question, I thought I'd answer it now.

and then Grandboss just LOST IT ON ME ON EMAIL. SO OFFENDED that I said it was taken care of. Did she get the important documents? Did you do the thing that you need permission for that you are NOT allowed to just do without the lord high gods saying so, since she asked for it? And how dare you tell me that about the second thing, I didn't ask about that! This was followed by a lot of....well, guess who gets to have another meeting of shame this week.

Seriously maybe I should just go out and lick a shopping cart and catch the virus and die already. I just piss this woman off so fucking bad no matter what I do. I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to communicate with her if no matter what I say it pisses her off. I am HORRENDOUSLY OFFENSIVE TO HER and I can't even figure out why this was sooooooooo bad, and frankly, blown out of proportion. Seriously, the girl asked for something we can't do, I denied her request and then told her that another office is actually permitted to assist her with that, so try them, and she said okay, I've petitioned them. Great, right? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO BLOW UP?!?! I truly do not understand this behavior of hers either. I know I'm awful horrible shit and literally everything I do is wrong, but good god, this didn't have to go this way. Don't act like you've never heard that this problem happens before, god knows I've mentioned it the last few years multiple times to her face. It's just more of the same. (I had three requests for that today, same remark to all of them,, it's just that this one decided to try official channels and got me in whopping trouble AGAIN.)

And I used to think she was nice.

I just don't know how to solve this problem.

I spent the entire day producing Important Documents. I will probably get shamed for it tomorrow even though it's my damn job, these are emergencies (I had 20+ of them at least I had to produce today...I lost track, I didn't finish the backlog until 4:30), and I should be prioritizing them as #1, not petty questions about other stuff that is not causing people to lose their futures if I don't dance to their tune. Also some of them had deadlines of today and were freaking out at me.

Also, I really really really really hate dealing with international organizations who refuse to accept my documents as proof.

Fuck work. If I didn't have rehearsal tonight, I'd be drinking.

Speaking of rehearsal: that went interesting. I feel like as a beginning Zoom director (okay, so MOST EVERYBODY IS except that guy at zoomtheater.com), Linda is thinking the same things as Beth did: that you can still have actors get up and walk around and move on Zoom, especially with backgrounds on. She is trying to get it as realistic as possible at the moment and I dunno how well that is going to work.

Looking on the Internet, someone is probably going to have to pay something like $180-ish to buy a green screen AND a frame for it, since I can't hang one from the ceiling here. I said I can do backgrounds now but only if I am set up in the bedroom on the bed against the white wall, stay totally still and can't get up and move. Meanwhile she wants everyone to get up, back far off from the computer (enough that I couldn't read the screen if you want my entire head in there, even when I actually put my glasses on indoors for the first time in months) and march. And she wants us to throw food at the camera. To which I was all uh, I don't think it is a great idea to chuck an apple at a computer screen....

Also, this is something I don't quite think has dawned on her yet: backgrounds don't do well with people moving. Most of us aren't using them right now, but when Tom had it on and was doing his thing with his stick as Little John, parts of his body were disappearing, his stick was disappearing, he'd lose half his stomach or an arm or a head.... I don't think that is exactly fixable stuff because moving with backgrounds is unreliable, which we learned during Dropping Bombs. Either you go with the weird flickers of Zoom or you don't move much. (And even then I've had like, magical twitching moles thanks to Zoom during filming.)

I am hoping this doesn't sound insulting because I don't want to insult her, but right now I'm thinking uh, maybe some of these movement ideas are impractical for the medium we are doing and the home setups people have for their cameras and computers? Like Jason can't really drape a background over the windows, he says, he can barely stand up, and not so much with dancing or anything. I'm all for hamming it up while you're sitting down, and if somehow Cameron and everyone she gets into fights with* can somehow manage with the swords and sticks, great, but that might be the extent of what's doable at the outside, on a practical level.**

* It's very convenient that our Robin Hood already fences and has a weapon around the house.
** And speaking of, I was writing a letter to her saying all of this stuff while I was off camera at rehearsal.

Well, sometimes people gotta learn the hard way on what stuff works, I guess. Though I have been trying to tactfully point out some issues with some of these things.

I did get complimented on my hammy background actions in the first song, though, so there's that. I got compared to the chorus in Hamilton, and that's high praise there.

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