Chaos Attraction

An Evening With Kevin Smith

2020-07-28, 11:00 p.m.

recently on Chaos Attraction
Lots Of Plays Today - 2020-08-02
Audition Monologue - 2020-08-01
I Like Chelsea Cain - 2020-07-31
Bomb Drop A Year Ago - 2020-08-01
Satanic Rituals In My Work Email - 2020-07-29


Cast list as of November 2019

Had another fun meeting with my boss (note: not said sarcastically) during which I was all, "Here is the super ridiculous crap I have to deal with" and she was all "OMG" and "this is crazy." I love these meetings, especially when they occasionally lead to someone finally fixing something. On a related note, someone actually fixed most of something else that's broken today! I can't test it for another few weeks, but that shall be nice!

We all have to go to that conference thing tomorrow and my boss was all, "wanna hear a funny? I wanted to go to the same panel you did because that's my weakest area, and then they asked me to moderate it." I said I'll assist if she needs it, but I think she'll be fine. God knows I inform her of all the issues, so she should be well versed. (And then I looked at the updated agenda and she's one of like, 4-5 mods. This may not be so bad for her.) She said something like 60 people were signed up for it, and for all the panels really. I guess we shall see.

I really don't want to deal with the other stuff that is not as much my job. I only got to about three public emails today after dealing with my own stuff, and I'm sick of being asked stuff I have NO CLUE ON and yet I am the most "senior" person left. Someone is demanding a personal Zoom call out of me to discuss an area I really don't know shit about, and I am going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE over it. Joy. I cannot answer general interrogation on that program that I barely remember exists, much less How To Advise You And Answer ALL The Questions!

I just have to remind myself: I may hate my job, but this is still a lot better than running my own business as a creative person and having no health insurance and utterly failing at that. I don't want to have to depend on the kindness of strangers to pay the bills and have no insurance.

Today's therapy:

(a) "Offhand I'd say he's into it" if you texted for three hours. You don't have to make it a big event, just start it and see how it goes.

(b) I was reading a crowdsourced advice site in which a girl was concerned that the guy she's online-seeing does video but not as much texting and she's starting to wonder if he's losing interest, especially if she has to initiate. My therapist was all "So what, who cares if she's the only one keeping it alive?" Some friendships are like that too. Also, just because it isn't tit for tat doesn't mean anything, the other person may just feel like they have nothing to say. "The only thing I can assume is hopefully that they're breathing."

I said that I said on the website that I thought it sounded like the guy was on his way out the door, but if he was going to break up with her anyway, it couldn't hurt to ask. She asked if he was still interested and he said he was, so we'll see. I was proud. And also like, "Who, ME said that?! I sure wouldn't ask!" (I really don't feel like I can ask anything, under the circumstances.)

(c) I told her that apparently my mom has decided to come by my house anyway and she was all, you don't have to answer the door. Maybe you should just do what you want to do too. She said "the fact that I'm not comfortable takes precedence over you feeling comfortable," and I was all, yeah, I remember when I asked Mom to stop talking about Dad's poop and she informed me that her need to tell me overrode my need to not hear it. I said I used to just hold the phone away from my ear and my therapist said to either "lalalala" or turn on the mute button. She said I am overly cautious and overly paranoid, but respects my decision to be and I'm allowed to be who I am (though in real life, I don't think so). She said I am feeling pressured and I can tell her that it's likely I'll cry during it if I see her.

"You have been changing, but you forget."

Over email, Linda pretty much ok'd my using my bedroom for green screening instead of buying an actual screen and we will try out headwear or something later.

Fun fact about my giant org: they sent out something or other saying that 2000+ people left last year and only 400+ of them were retirees. Out of curiosity, I attempted to find out how many people they employ and the best answer I found online was 5000+. So....yeah, that's a lot. So now they want to send out exit surveys asking if anyone's manager did anything to keep them and would they recommend working here to anyone else. Frankly, that's a giant "it depends." Working for a giant org IN GENERAL has a lot of advantages and perks and insurance and vacation. Theoretically there's options to go from one area of the giant org to another (if not for me) if you get sick of your particular office without losing your benefits. Buuuuuuut....beyond that, it depends on your particular office and who you're working with and how sick you are getting of shit that won't change.

I also saw a thing online today saying that my giant org will survive the crisis, if not exactly thrive. So there's that, I guess.


Panels I watched and/or listened to but don't have much to say about:

* The Mandalorian and His Many Gadgets: Literally a rundown of "tracking fob, carbonite, jetpack" kinda stuff. "Apparently humans are very good at making things small."
* Inspired; Personal Stories in Graphic Novels.
* Calling All Book Lovers: A Sneak Peek at New Books from Tor, Tor Teen and
* Personal, Political, Fictional, and Factual. I feel like this one was kind of a "commiserating over coronavirus" panel?


* Eye of Newt and Wool of Bat: The Science Behind Magic Potions and Spells: This was a very good one with extremely good explanations of uses of herbs in fiction.
"Don't drink the Witcher potion, PLEASE." You will die. It's very toxic."
"Fennel is for farting."
"Don't go around putting hibiscus and rosemary in people's drinks.
" Passionflower "feels like you're getting a hug." WHERE DO I GET THIS?!?

* Finance for Creatives: Obviously a useful one. "You may have to go back to a simple life, like ramen, and ice cream." Who cares about a degree? "Most of the stuff you need to learn you can learn from YouTube." "None of that stuff applies when you need to get a job in the industry." Getting a degree is a waste of money!

* Creative Renaissance: How to Thrive When it's Hard to Survive: I'm not sure what this panel was about? Nonprofits? Mostly? "I'm living in this world. I kinda have to go with it and honor it." "Always be willing to pivot." "Everybody's world could be really dark right now." "We're in kind of a dream/nightmare."

* Make Your Own Felted Friends! This feels very Maker Faire, except with more people and more crazy going on. And two "felted friends" standing in.
"Is it supposed to take this long to sew?" "YES." "Remember how we said we were going to cut it so they didn't have to watch us sew?" "So now that we spent an hour and a half sewing these parts...." "To be clear, one of us sewed. The other cut and glued."
"Sometimes when you put felted friends in front of people, it teaches better."
"Okay, another hour and a half...." "We are overseeing the miracle of life right now."
"Oh Cole, what happened?" "It's an abomination." "Your sewing came out!" "Oh, by sewing, you mean GLUE?!" That guy also didn't turn it inside out, so everyone makes fun of him for that. "Have you ever turned a sock inside out, buddy?" "He wears them how they come out of the dryer." "For everyone at home, if you mess up, it's okay to own it. I"m gonna love this messed-up creature just as much."
"'Maybe we should forgo this and make them snakes." "No, we're gonna do it." "This is the song that you sew to."
"Three hours later." "Tongues are overrated." "Rule 1: don't try to be funny." The female felted friend with hair: "I don't like hair."
The newbies look at the other guy's finished product: "THAT's what we were supposed to be?!?!" "If a ballet dancer starts poppin' and lockin', it's not ballet any more, it's something else." "How far along are you on your felted friend right now?" (40 minutes in) "I'm still cutting out the hands."
"Every one started with the same information, and none of these looks alike."

Back to the Moon and Beyond With NASA: Moderated by William Shatner! Shatner asking the lady who designs the space clothes: "They won't be leaping and playing golf?" "They'll be playing golf, but they'll have a much nicer stroke this time." Da Shat is boggled at how much time Kjell Lindgren spent in school (med school, grad school, astronaut candidating).... LaNetra got him interested by being all, "Remember that episode, Spock's Brain?" He asked, "Has science fiction affected your choices of career?" Kjell: "I've wanted to be in human spaceflight ever since." "Nothing's impossible these days," says astronaut Nicole Mann. I'd like to believe that... Da Shat then asked about the O-ring explosion, if that freaks anyone out. "Nope." "Nope." We learned from that, said Kjell. "Why are we going to Mars?" Da Shat asks. LaNetra: "Why NOT go to Mars?" Also, "it inspires the next generation." Also, go read the Lady Astronaut series about needing to GTFO the planet, y'all. LaNetra gets in one "Live long and prosper." "Oh, sure, to you," he says in an exhausted tone, waving his mug.

Blast Off with Disney+’s “The Right Stuff” with Mae Jemison. John Glenn wrote a TON of letters, so Patrick J. Adams were thrilled to have access to those. There's also a touching photo of him and Scott Carpenter hugging after Carpenter returned from space. Annie Glenn had a bad stutter and couldn't speak in public originally or make phone calls. Her husband started crying when she was able to make a phone call after going through some kind of program. The actress playing Annie, Nora Zehetner, said that "their love affair was the most beautiful thing I could imagine..." She and Adams would read the letters to each other. I am excited that Jake McDorman is in this--I loved him on Limitless: the TV show. He was all, "I don't have the right stuff." About five raised their hands when Mae asked who wanted to be an astronaut as a kid. Mae said she didn't want to be an astronaut as a kid, but did want to go into space--but she was afraid of heights! But she wouldn't let that stop her.

Of course there's An Evening With Kevin Smith in which he mentions "the year someone got stabbed in the leg in Hall H with a protractor." The Avengers didn't do a goddamn thing! But hey, no Hall H this year, so it's easy!
"Don't touch your face, Kevin."
The crowds he saw last year he won't see again until there's a vaccine, and now that kind of thing is a nightmare. Kevin calls the COVID test very invasive, and then is all "Every lady out there is all "Fuck you!" on invasive. He did talk about things he went to in the last year and he's surprised he hasn't gotten it yet.
He said all of his life has been unexpected, like getting in the cement at the Chinese theater. He chalks it all up to Jay. "In Jersey, that means something completely different, man."
Like the rest of us, all he's doing is reading the Internet.
Since he couldn't do Q&A, he was well, selling various stuff like his new website and Mooby burgers and Funko Pop figures. "What a relief to not have to be funny." Then he yells out like an audience member saying he never was. "Yes, of course, that goes without saying."
"I could literally just sit here and do therapy with you."
I find it ironic that Kevin Smith went vegan after his heart attack and now he's pimping the new Mooby's food, which sounds quite meaty. "You can make your own cow tipper."
On the original building Clerks takes place in: "This is longer than real life, which is something a lady has never told me."
I'll probably always have a soft spot for Kevin Smith, but jeebus christ, ever since he took up the constant pot smoking, I do NOT want to see the movies he makes now, including the horror one he just showed the trailer for. Sigh. Also, how is a Mallrats sequel gonna work when malls are dead? "All I wanted to do was play with my old toys" after my heart attack, he says.
"For this year, this worked, good enough." Also, he knew JJ Abrams couldn't steal his audience this year. "Now I'm gonna eat some fucking food, ladies and gentlemen."

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