Chaos Attraction

Swordplay and Cocaine

2019-07-29, 9:22 p.m.

Work: Well, I spent 2 days on vacation and fucking PAID for it today like hell. I spent from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. wishing for death and wanting to scream at the top of my lungs. Again. Yet again. It’s a good thing going to that conference isn’t an option for the rest of my life because I am fucking PAYING for being gone at this time of the year. So much disaster and drama. I almost got it all done today, except I never got to actually doing the proofreading I needed to do. Sigh.

Thankfully, my day went from “wishing for death” to my night being “best night of rehearsal for this show ever,” so that was a drastic swing/improvement!

Quotes from rehearsal:

“If I don’t do the strange things, strange things happen to me.” -Jim

Back to swords: following up on yesterday, we were discussing what our last names mean and Scott said that his last name translated into something like “keeper of the sword” or “keeper of the armory.” Me: “Wait, and you didn’t want a sword yesterday?!”

“You stole Daddy’s sword and I’m pissed.” -Scott to Cody, the only one who actually does get a sword in this show.

“That’s Shakespeare!” -Cody

Scott did some SUPER DRAMATIC eye rolling as he got strangled tonight. I thought it was great. Even better, he was touching his neck afterwards while talking to Charles about having his brother murdered. Sadly, Laure did not agree with me.

“I’ve lost the track. Goddammit.” -Scott
“That’s Shakespeare?” -Phil

I have down that Cody and Scott were doing long distance punches at each other.

Scott and I watching Cody:
“Cody’s doing much better on his lines tonight.” -me
“I will not be snorting as much cocaine tonight.” -Scott
“Wait, you’re snorting cocaine?” -me
“Well, I’m the one who’s always snorting, come on.” -Scott

“Why isn’t this working?” “My boner is confused and I don’t know why.” -me catcalling LeBeau and Orlando. LeBeau is giving it all she’s got and Orlando looks confuzzled.

“Don’t kill her, I haven’t married her yet!” -Cody as Rosalind is getting kicked out of the house

Cody now gets to decorate the trees with all the hearts Elizabeth and I cut out. Adorbs.

“I love how one guy in one scene has more lines than I do in the entire show.” -me wondering why a guy who only gets called “First Lord” gets a damn monologue.

“Most of the people in this play are fairly bipolar.” -unknown but probably anyone could have said it, really.

Jim makes use of the tree onstage to scare Shelly.

Isadora the page had her sister there tonight and Cody had the sister play with the sword. That girl’s eyes LIT UP at that. Baby’s first sword.

“Yes, point that sword RIGHT at that angle, Cody.” -me, trying to take a photo of Cody pointing the sword at Valentin’s butt.
Scott does a giant cocaine snort at this, and breaks out a dollar bill to snort imaginary cocaine off his phone.
“And now there are kids watching you snort cocaine.” -me
“I’ve done so much cocaine even Tony Montana is all whaaa?” -Scott

“I’ll just be acting.” --Cody as he does heart distribution.

“It’s Audrey Hep-purr.” -Scott seeing a cat pic. Shelly makes a face at this.

“You’re a fantastical knave.” -Cody to Scott

There were jokes about 50 Shades Of Hay, and I mentioned the storytelling thing I did on that to Scott. Scott was realizing how normal his family is by comparison and I was all, this is why I do storytelling. Lord knows I got the material at times.

“Those shoelaces aren’t period appropriate.” --Cody, watching Josh and Valentin do ridiculous shit with shoelaces in the back that will probably get someone injured.

We debated what “market” was appropriate for Phoebe--a flea market?

“The boy’s about as smart as a bowling ball.” -Scott on Orlando

Scott and I had some terrible conversation about the bloody napkin being a weird love letter, or something ahem, more revealing what with the gender changing.

Me on Orlando: “What happens when he’s late for dinner?”
“Well, there are lots of knives.” -Scott
“You’d better show up on time for dinner, buddy”--me to Cody
“Whaaat? Every night?” --Cody.
“She’s a stickler for time, buddy.” --me
“I need my time in my mancave.” --Cody

“Little Bunny Foo Foo, hopping through the forest. Picking up Orlandos and bopping them on the head.” -me and Cody

“That was so sweet and so...interesting...” -Laure

“Is this English? If I can’t read it, it’s not important, right?” -Laure still can’t read her notes in the dark

Tonight I filmed the “Always Look On The Bright Side of Life” scene because after tonight we have to go backstage for this. Dear lord, the recording features even more snorting from Scott and I, and then me saying something like, “Now I’M the one who’s doing cocaine.” Because that was a brilliant thing to say while recording shit, me.

“My God, we’re almost doing a musical.” -Germaine

“Enforce the whistling.” -Laure

Everyone got distracted by a cat.

Valentin, as a defrocked priest, is going to wear a monk’s robe. “He’s supposed to be a defrocked priest, but nobody will get the context.” -Germaine

Anyway, tonight was a delight.

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