Chaos Attraction

Oh Yeah, THIS Is Why I Don't Go To Bars Alone!

2004-08-01, 2:29 p.m.

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This has been a weekend of clubbing. I went along with Heather and the Cowboy (who, incidentally, seem to be semi-engaged, in that "we're arguing over what music to play at the wedding already" kind of way. I'm invited!) to this club in the boonies called Aqua on Friday, which was their western night. It was interesting- country done inside, rock done outside, and I flitted back and forth between the two. I got in some very fierce dancing and got the admiration of this one chick out on the rock floor, which was cool.

Yesterday I did an enormous amount of exercise- dance class, walking around campus, going out to get new workout pants and finding a reversible tank top while I was at it, going out for Korean takeout, etc. I was pretty pleased to be at 8000+ on the pedometer at that point.

Anyway, we were going to go out clubbing at the Grad again Saturday night. While I was waiting around for Heather and the Cowboy to get off work, I got the urge to do a tarot card reading. I hadn't done one since I got the dreaded "yeah, you suck at picking men and need to be alone" reading.

This one, however, was a first for me EVER in a reading. Normally when I've asked about men in the past I got bupkis, or well, "you're meant to be alone." I put the details over here, but the gist of it was (a) now's a great creative time for you, (b) you're fearful (no duh), and (c) guess what, you'll be meeting a man! I got two references to that in the reading- that I'd be meeting a King of Swords guy (sounds like a Libra, doesn't it?) in the future for sure and it was forecast in the outcome of the question.

I use the Quest Tarot, which has a timeline factor in the cards. I hadn't really paid much attention to it before, but this time I was wondering. It said if you had an ace card in the reading in the 5th position on, there was a time factor. So I checked it and... I am due to meet a man on January 4. Which, ahem, doesn't strike me as "near future" which is what the other card indicated, but whatever. I'll see on January 5 if I've gotten a hookup yet (hah).

Speaking of meeting men, though...well, I did tonight, but it sure as hell wasn't what you'd think.

The Cowboy got here around 10:30. He's a bit psychic himself and said, "Do you want to go to the club early? Heather's going to be late." Seeing as she was closing the store for the night, I figured he was right and so we went on ahead. Truth be told I lost track of what he was doing for hours because I was grooving on the dance floor.

During a dancing break (ugh, slow songs) I was thinking to myself, "This is great! I've gone clubbing three times now, and nobody's pestered me, I haven't attracted any creeps. Maybe I CAN just go by myself to this kind of thing without incident!"

At which point, the Irony Fairy must have come up and stuck a "Come and get her, boys" sign to the back of my tank top.

I went out on the floor, and was trying to figure out some line dance or other I hadn't done before. I sort of had it down, but not quite, but this one dude asks if I can teach him how. I'm like "I don't know how, I'm guessing," and he's all "How about I try to follow you?" Okay, fine, that's how I've been trying to get it in the first place. But then the song ends and they go to playing a straight rock song (i.e. no line dancing). And dude continues to hang around...tries to talk but I can't hear shit... and ahem, started freaking me. Several times. Crotch-grabbing and rubbing, the works. "Uh, aren't the 80's over?" And then, guess what, a slow dance came on. However, since at country night slow dance = must know how to DO said dance, I said I didn't know how to do those and ran off to the ladies room. Where I found Heather and told her what had happened. "Yeah, freaking happens, but normally you're safe on country night." "Not if you're ME!!"

I spent the rest of the night following her and the Cowboy around mostly as protection. Got a drink, sat around, did a line dance with Heather, etc. During their slow dances I was sitting around chugging my drink when two random guys (at different times) poked my shoulder and then waved hi. Huh?

This kind of crap is not supposed to happen to ME, yo. I'm a nerd. I have the glasses of uglification on. My head was splitting, and I ended up hiding in the bathroom for the last song, in which I noticed that my double-layered reversible tank top had nevertheless managed to flash some headlights. Aw crap.

After closing, we were hanging around outside waiting for the cops to disperse and yakking with the DJ (who the Cowboy and Heather know) and a friend of his, an Asian cowboy (lord, that's cool). The AC was making all kinds of amusing jokes, and Heather and the DJ got into a playfight, which the DJ won by somehow managing to flip her upside down and then stick her onto the Cowboy. It looked like walking 69. Well, there's something you don't see every day! (Later Heather said, "I'm like a piece of meat, but I kinda enjoy it.")

I went home in her car because, well, it has doors, and was telling her about the guy stuff. She was all, "Well, that used to throw me off, too, but now I take it as a compliment." I'm not too sure about THAT.

Anyway, I went home to bed, and ended up sleeping till 2 p.m. (good lord) with Penny the cat, who was a much more peaceful sleeping companion than I thought she'd be.

That said, I don't think I'll be roaming the bars by myself any time soon. Or if I do, I'm wearing something more covering.

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