Chaos Attraction

Screaming In The Car

2018-08-03, 10:31 p.m.

Shit things today:

* Am very, very tired of my shitty coworkers just being shitty. Normally our jobs don’t interact at all and that’s lovely, but now it’s Ugly Crunch Time and now we have to, so I get to hear comments out of them that are a joy. I have headphones on but sometimes things still get through.

High Horse has gotten himself certified to deal with Certain Documents that I have to deal with on a regular basis. (I basically have to photocopy everything and then put it in the mail. It’s dumb.) We have a normal certifier but he is the backup. I am totally at a loss as to why someone who hates me and wants zero contact with me got himself certified to deal with things that he knows I would have to go to him for help with at some point or other. Unless he gets extra money for this, which I highly doubt because nobody gets extra money for anything. I had to actually go to High Horse for help the other week when the normal one was on vacation and I can’t tell you how pleasant it was.

Well, a HUGE avalanche of documents came in this week that had to be certified IMMEDIATELY OR ELSE and I thought, “High Horse is going to fucking kill me if I give these to him,” so I was lurking at the doorway of the other person at 8:05 a.m. in hopes she had not called in sick today (she has been having illness issues, added bonus). Unfortunately, this meant I ended up having to explain to the lady’s boss why I am not just going to the guy who is literally in my office and here for help. “Does your boss know?” Yup, but what can you do about it? Assholes be assholin’ and you can’t stop ‘em. Luckily for me, the normal lady came in late and all was well.

* I really, really, really want someone to fix my fucking toilet. I think the flapper needs repairing, it’s that level of issue except I know I don’t know shit and don’t want to break anything or flood anything because I’m stoopid. I have called multiple times and I feel like the onsite manager is just making up bullshit at this point to not do anything unless a full on poopmergency occurs. “Well, I have to have our repair guy come in before I’m permitted to call a plumber.’ Fine with me, but where is repair guy? I know he comes in Thursdays and I called about this on Wednesday and nobody came in to look at it on Thursday. Then she went on and on in a very quiet voice (added bonus, she is a very quiet talker both IRL and especially on the phone) about fuck if I know what because I could not hear her for shit, and I thought, is it worth it to ask her to repeat this? It’s all just a bunch of bullshit that boils down to “take the hint, we’re not going to do anything ever like all the other times you called about this.” Shut up, me. Just shut up and take the hint and deal with it.

* I love how thousands of people’s lives are getting fucked up in my job because a high official can’t be arsed to sign a piece of paper ASAP. I could have had this shit done on TUESDAY except you can’t be arsed to physically sign a piece of paper to “approve” it. Like, for some crackassed reason they don’t even want to get a name stamp. This is beyond ridiculous. Why do I have to have your permission for this before we can do anything? This really should not be standing, except I am a peon and I can’t even bring it up (I’m literally not permitted to talk to said official at all), someone higher up on the food chain has to.

I have been reading this book of late about how if you are constantly having to hold in your anger all the time, that is why you are blocked about doing anything major in your life. So per all of this, I screamed and cussed and sang angry songs in the car for over two hours while driving home to Mom’s in hopes of finally exhausting my anger. I still had some going by the time I got there, mind you, but I had to not give myself laryngitis.

Later that weekend, Mom yelled at me for being “so angry all the time! There’s an edge in your voice!” and once again begged me to take anger management class. Guess who thinks she is helping but is not helping. Also, I can't point out that one of the reasons why I'm so angry around her all the time is having to live in Hoarding House where I can't even sit in 95% of the house.

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