Chaos Attraction

The Snarkiness of King George III

2020-08-03, 10:52 p.m.

recently on Chaos Attraction
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Cast list as of November 2019

I got reamed out again for all of my fuckups from last week. I'm not okay. I literally cannot problem solve problems. Still. I am like George Costanza: I should do the opposite of what I think is right because I am utterly unable to figure out anything on my own.

To be honest, this is kinda about how the conversation went. (I do not feel safe going to them about problems. They have no sympathy for anyone having issues due to coronavirus either. Because literally everyone else is Just Fine!) Mixed in with the interminable "okay, fine, you made your point, could you please not hammer it into the ground like we're in the movie Click?" Oh yeah, and I'm not allowed to use a picture of anything on Zoom unless it is a picture of giant org. Fuck giant org. I am no longer proud of my association with the place and do not want to use a picture from there.

I don't want to exist any more. I'm so sick of myself. I can't get another job when I am this fucking stupid and can't think and can't problem solve and can't do customer service. There are no jobs in the world that don't involve those things and I can't do them.

Oh yeah, and my shrink's out for the next 2 weeks. Not that it does any good to talk to her anyway, as Jackie would say. All I would do is whine about my job again and still not ever do anything or get anywhere or be able to think myself out of a problem...which I can't do.

I hate myself so much. I don't know what to do other than just wait to get fired.

Drunk night. Drank half a bottle of wine before rehearsal. Thankfully it wasn't noticeable. Or I sobered up enough by seven. Whatever.

Robin Hood rehearsal, act 2, scene 1. The rescue scene..ish? After Robin and Marian got arrested, Little John goes back to the band and forms a plan. Because everyone else is occupied and Little John's presumably too tall to pass as a kitchen wench to get in past the guards, Friar Tuck is dubbed in for the part, and then I sing my big number, "Tuck Be A Lady Tonight."

I can sing this a cappella fine, and attempted to, both for rehearsal reasons and because Marcia is having recorder issues. She got me the accompaniment ah, about a half hour into rehearsal, but it was coming out.... very slow. (She ordered another one online.) I had to schedule a one on one rehearsal on my day off this week (tomorrow) because hoo boy, did the "A lady doesn't (blah blah blah)" part come out tooo slooooooooooow tonight. Obviously I was doing it with literally no practice with this accompaniment and I've just done it at home alone with a YouTube video that is fast paced. So, 'twas awkward.

I'm fine with doing it a little slower since I'm throwing around girly props a bit and then Tuck is being dressed (by Elizabeth, keeping her head off camera) in the worst stuff they could find at their house. Which is a white curly wig, a pink feather boa, and a gold...dress....? that he has to tie around his neck. I brought out a ton of props and Linda went for the feather boa, my biggest Renfaire flower headress, and I guess some necklaces or whatever.

"I'm certain there's no method to the madness." -Linda on rearranging of Zoom windows.

Brunette Sarah brought out some lingerie as her prop.... "Y'know, if you want to throw lingerie at the camera, it'd be a lot more safer than apples." -me

Me to Tuck: "Your face getting more and more miserable as you get dressed...."

There was some discussion as to what to do to emphasize the line about not pulling on another guy's tights. Sarah wanted some waist action. Tuck is unable to do this because "that tunic is glued to him."(Linda). I may just get up and wiggle.

As Tuck pulls out something ropelike.... "That looks like a noose. That's very ominous for Robin Hood." -me
Me seeing the clothes they pulled out at the house, including the gold dress: "Where did they find THAT in the forest?!"
Linda on the dress: "Tie a knot around it and hang yourself." "Again, ominous." me
We debated whether or not Little John would have ladies clothing to contribute to this, I said he did have a wife.
Linda: "I don't know if Little John would have any of that stuff lying around."
Me: "Not unless his wife was really interesting."
Would Tuck wear lipstick? Should he? "I'm okay with it if you are," Linda said, sexily.
What kind of makeup did they wear then? "Arsenic?" -me again, clearly I'm having a night.

After that would normally be the rescue scene, which we can't physically act out and I have been suggesting we do it with puppets. Linda has decided that we'll black out the screen and just make sound effects and noises as to what we are doing. Me: "Do we hear a lot of crashes and ow?" We attempted to improv this as sort of a rough draft, I don't think it went that well, so they need to write out some dialogue. Sarah (her character is supposed to pass out some drugged wine and get the keys) got some keys....both regular keys and one GIANT key. "We're not visual but I've got the keys!"

And one final quote section dedicated to Zoom technical difficulties:
*I can't get rid of me."
"Turn off your camera."
"That would be the way to do it." -Linda and me
"I can't rename me." -Linda
And finally... "it'll be kind of in and out and be a mess, but that'll be okay." -Linda

So...hopefully they update the script a bit.

Today's Comic-Con:

Don't Tell Your Story, Show It! is about the best discussion on the topic I've ever heard. Good job, sir.

Comic-Con Film School is usually a 4 day class. Now it's 45 minutes of video and just "best of" advice. Such as ,you need to pick people that you like and can stand to be in the same room with for hours. Well, that might be outdated advice...

Villains: We're Misunderstood has people in costume! Winter Soldier, Umbridge, The Master, King George III and Captain Hook!

"The universe is full of chaos and disarray. I bring order. Structure. Something that I think George understands." -The Master
"So sorry, I was just looking for Captain Hook's self-respect." -King George III (whose given name is "Chad Hatter." Like a Mad Hatter?!)
"People act like what they want is freedom. But what they want is a hand around the neck." -George
"Self-respect coming from the man who looks like an ice cream cone." -Captain Hook
"You owe me back taxes and you know it." -George
"Oooh, there's a 14-year-old keeping me up at night." -George

The Englishmen ask each other what they've successfully done...and have no answers. On a related note, Umbridge deals with brats all the time....

George's missing hand jokes at Hook around the 15 minute mark are just priceless. Peter and King George might get along just fine, the Winter Soldier suggests. Seriously, George is on FIRE with the insults, though Umbridge sasses him back when he decides he's going to take over, and razzes him about properly addressing her. Captain Hook made a "she's got you by the short n' curlies" crack, and George suggested we send Umbridge after all these meddlesome kids. Which is a good point.
"Smite them while they're young," the Master suggests. You have the same problem, Hook pointed out. "He's my best friend, mind your own business!....Of course I've tried killing my best friend!" Who usually ends up ruining things and offering me Jelly Babies.
"Hook, that's your problem. Stop being too clever. JUST SHOOT HIM." -George

The Winter Soldier asked why the Master hasn't just knocked the Doctor on the head and left him in the Jurassic Era. "That's Gallifreyan hide-and-go-seek."

"I'm going to murder all of you slowly." -George
"When you say pool our resources, do you mean that we would give you money and you would just run your mouth?" -Umbridge to George, GOOD ONE. George is a goddamned delight. BEST PANEL AT COMIC-CON.

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