Chaos Attraction

Missing Rehearsal

2019-08-08, 9:54 p.m.

I called in sick to work on Wednesday because I was about ready to pass out in bed by 7:30 a.m., which is my one criteria for sick calls. I went back to bed and by 1 p.m., somehow that had cured my sore throat and it was gone. Possibly this was because I didn’t sleep all night because I was drinking all night because of the throat and then kept having to get up to pee.

Today I went back to work and found out that half the office had called out or gone home sick early on Wednesday. The plague kinda continues. Also I found out that one officemate has “latent TB” and while he’s not contagious, it will be bad if he actually gets sick with anything. So THAT happened while I was out.

I met my old boss for lunch since he’s in town this week and I told him that the Shark Tank are all fighting it out as to who is going to be supervisor of the other two. They are interviewing for the job this week. He seemed mostly unfazed by this but we both agreed that the new guy (rather than High Horse or my former bully) should get the job. Naturally, I’m sure that means that High Horse will get it because that’s how the office seems to roll. God help ‘em if they make that choice because he is Not A People Person (i.e. describes himself as a psychopath/sociopath, seriously) but I doubt anyone doing the interviewing is aware of his assholery. Old boss politely said that High Horse has some growing up to do.

An impromptu rehearsal was called for tonight, which I and many others could not go to because hey, fucking last minute and I already said I’d work at the CC tonight because they are short staffed as fuck right now. The other girl who is supposed to be on my shift of course bailed, so I was there alone and grumpy-ass about it that I’m the only one there to wait on people, which I haaaaaaaaaate. Though the 2nd-in-command from work is now taking a class at the CC thanks to me, so we hung out for awhile after she was out of class. She has now commissioned two people to make fancy plates for BigBigBoss next week at our work retreat (I’m not sure why “get a sustainable fancy plate” has become a Thing between her and BigBoss, but I guess that happened), so that’s nice. Especially since Jed got one of the commissions. Score for Jed.
I asked her how this came about and she said “I was just standing around at the front counter saying, I wonder where I can find someone to make a plate....” I was all, “this is very Barbara Sher of you to have that happen.” She was basically all, well, you gotta ask...

I was sending texts to karaoke group text whining about not being at rehearsal and rethinking my life choices about volunteering and sending them a photo of some two-pronged tool at the CC as the sword I get to play with tonight. Scott suggested it could poke both cheeks at once, and also he told me that Chris (Duke Senior) was doing my part in a scene and while trying to sound like me, came out sounding like Eric Cartman. “Yes, we’ve gone through Arden all the way to South Park, Indiana.”

I guess who was playing my part changed throughout the night, as Valentin later sent me a photo of all seven people who showed up for the last scene. Cody was obviously playing me in that shot and I wrote back, “I only hope Cody lived up to my “bear your body more seemly, Audrey” line, but even worse.”* Lord knows I’d expect Cody to do something real lulu-y.

* According to the text, I’m supposed to be doing....something unseemly at that point, but it’s not spelled out. I looked online and saw one reference to an Audrey flipping up her skirt. I was all “not going THAT far,” but I do pretty much side-hump him. As I said to my therapist, I don’t consider that embarrassing because it’s on a stage and who cares, you can do anything on a stage.

Scott wrote back, “Oh, it was not Cody who bear his body more seeming...TWAS I! Muahahahahah! I had lots of fun saying “I don’t care much for oysters, but pearls are pretty.” I made Jim snort! *fistpump*
I wrote back “Yessssssssssssssss” and then sent devil and tongue-sticking-out emojis.

All of this cheered up my night very much.

Quote of the night that I found:

”Many people can cast their affections broad and bright as floodlights, but others of us are laser beams, and when something actually trips our attraction/affection sensors it can feel like a certain kind of instant precision strike, and it can leave a mark forever.”

This explains exactly how my love life has gone my entire damn life. Perfect description of that. Also a lot classier than I have ever been able to explain it, i.e. “some people are growers and some people are show-ers,” which has an entirely different connotation there.

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