Chaos Attraction

Angsty Man-Pain Night

2019-08-13, 10:09 p.m.


Work quote that I’ll leave anonymous: “I’m so tired of my customer service voice.”

I didn’t answer this call but was told about it afterwards: some guy called wanting to get what he wanted months earlier than he can possibly get it, and when he was told no, apparently said, “If we can get a man on the moon, I can get (what I want) today!”

For the record, I looked up how long it took us to get to the moon: either from 1961-1969 from the JFK kickoff to actual landing, or four days for the actual moon flight. In both cases, there’s no fucking way in hell we can give him what he wants (especially since it’s not under our control) that fast. The girl who answered the phone is on her second to last day and was all, “I just told him a lie” and passed him off to his department. I don’t think she actually told him a lie, mind you, she told him about what I said to say, but some dingdongs will continue to believe what they want here.

In other news, the office Shark Tank competition is over and the one non-asshole of the bunch (new guy) got the job. I am shocked and impressed that the powers that be actually did not pick someone bad. I emailed my old boss and I should probably not repeat what he said about a certain person and what would have happened if that one got the job, but I’ll just say he was relieved as to who won.

Oh, and my current boss and the second-in-command came in today to tell me that I am TEMPORARILY getting my own office. As in, actual by-myself office because the call center is noisy and they want to...remodel or something? I did not know what to say to this. It came outta nowhere. I’d be more excited if I had a timeline for when this is going down, and I’d like to know how “temporary” it’s going to be (when The New Managers come, I guess) and how the shit this went down, but... people were asking “why are the offices open today?” and I didn’t say anything! Will wait until it’s announced.

I also saw a squirrel pee today. It squatted. That was exciting.

My therapist today was all “na na na na na na” about everything I told her. Cute. She was also all, “you can’t plan for everything,” which is certainly true but I still like to have a game plan anyway. I am still trying to figure out a new one for life and handling a certain situation. New role models, new ways of thinking about it, how I’m going to behave, etc.

Quote from said therapist: “Humans are fucking bizarre.” Yup.

And finally, Robert said he’s in my town tonight and offered to give me a ride to karaoke (he’s petsitting here for a week) so I did that. It was a small crowd night compared to last week, just him and me and Sarah, but it was memorable. Pyrate had another gig and had Jim* substitute for him, which worked very well so yay for him.

* just realized there's two Jims in this whole thing now too.... I am referring to Karaoke Jim here.

Redhead Sarah has had a weird week, between being reported to the police for yelling at her kids not to go into the shed (the cops were all, “you’re fine”) and then dealing with a dying homeless man. She has a crush on the detective she saw (and many other dudes, I think) and said she’s called him up to leave information before.

There is a song I’ve wanted to sing for awhile--I told Robert I was going to do it--but the last few times I’ve tried to get it done, the technology failed. Since last time (a few weeks ago) I checked on this Pyrate was downloading a new version, I figured I’d try it today, but even the new version still didn’t work. Dammit. Clearly the universe and/or technology is refusing me on this one, so I give up.

I decided to declare it “Angsty Man-Pain Night” instead and only sing angsty-man pain songs: Here Without You, Barely Breathing, and Gotta Get Through This. Usually nobody but me has ever heard of Daniel Bedingfield (singer of the last one), but a lady named Queenie said it was her favorite and she got up and danced with me and it was adorable. I have been trying to figure out which songs I sing least badly and I must admit that Angsty Man-Pain Night songs seem to be in my limited range enough for that to go well. I also decided that “Barely Breathing” is everything lately.

In other news, an old racist named Roy got married two weeks ago, is going to Alaska for the honeymoon, and sung his favorite song “Dixieland” while the rest of us were all “....” at it. “I guess even racists can find love too,” Sarah said, along with “Do you think she really loves him or is she there for his money?” No idea on the last one.

Little Ashley, who’s maybe around 13, sang “Rolling In The Deep” with a lot of power. You go, girl. Shirley and Robert dueted on “All You Need Is Love” and I think she likes him (in general) since she’s commented to me before. A new guy did “Locked Out Of Heaven” at the end of the night and we were all, wow, where have you been, sir?

Pam actually came into the bar tonight with some of her customers, and I gave her the little card I wanted to give her a while back. She told Robert again how she thinks I’m the most interesting woman in the world, aww.

We talked auditions: Robert’s been asked to be in as an extra in “Thirteen Reasons Why,” which apparently films around here somehow, and when I told Sarah about the show after the next one, “Coney Island Christmas,” she wants to audition for that one. And of course she has a story about going on the Cyclone there and throwing up her Nathan’s hot dog. Of course.

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