Chaos Attraction

Death By Design Auditions

2019-08-18, 10:17 p.m.

I sent out the cast quotes I wrote up for As You Like It yesterday and got a few responses back. Jim liked it and Laure was all “when did this happen?” but seemed amused. I said that was the funny shit going on when we weren’t onstage.

Jean got the idea that we should have some kind of group field trip to go see Mark’s next play (Little Shop of Horrors in Folsom), so I was all “okay, fine, I’ll take point on this, here’s available dates and if anyone wants to go to the Renaissance faire while I’m at it in the same town, I’m throwing that in too.” I got no responses, which makes me grumbly.

This week I am going to go to three auditions! Score for me! I saw three shows within the vicinity that I read up on as much as I could and decided I did not hate them/was mildly amused to read/can go to, so I am going to give them a shot, even if only one of them is one I have intentions toward. Hey, who knows, if I don’t get into the one I have intentions toward, I might get into something else! Or not! Whatever, at least I tried, and auditions are fun so what the heck. I’m giving myself life bonus points for trying.

Number one was a show called “Death By Design” at a tiny theater I hadn’t heard of before in Citrus Heights. It appears to be a two person operation. I came in and there was a giant photo of two guys and a hot girl (note: hot girl is one of the two running this theater and was kind of (?) in the auditions, she had on a gorgeous dress and seemed very nice) with...well, Shakespearean outfits and RED CODPIECES. I had to take a shot of this.

Also, Laure my most recent director showed up for this! (Kind of looking fragile...I know she has back issues but she had issues getting up a curb and that concerned me) So that was a hoot. I knew I had to text Scott about this because he’d have some kind of delightful reaction to this news (“OMG I’M IN THE SAME AUDITION AS LAURE”) and indeed, it was amusing and taking the Lord’s name in vain (as my mother would complain about when I do it). He seemed to enjoy my recounting of the whole experience even though he drifted off after awhile. I did ask the lady what the codpiece show was and she said it was “I Hate Hamlet,” which she highly recommended doing. Sign me up for that if I get the chance.

Anyway: Death By Design is an English-ish Agatha Christie/Noel Coward manor house play about theatrical people and their guests showing up and one of them gets murdered.* If you read the spoiler alert, you will find out how truly silly this one sounds, which would give me a laugh if I was in it, at least. Ladies’s roles were Bridget the 50something Irish maid/detective, Sorel the actress (not listed on the websites, oddly enough, which makes me wonder if that one is already taken?), Victoria the drama queen and Alice the near-blind ingenue. So I was going to shoot for the last two.

According to the director, apparently nobody is actually murdered. The guy that everyone hates is supposedly shot at the end of act one, and then in act two they find out that the shooter is so dang blind she missed. The “dead guy” just took some Romeo and Juliet sleeping potion or other and isn’t actually dead. Note that the play takes place in 1932, a period of time in which I figure people knew enough about medicine to take a pulse?


There were very few people in this, maybe eight tops. As far as I know this was their first night of auditions (though they said they’d be having others this week, which were not mentioned on the mailing list, sounds like they are mostly fishing for dudes) and only one guy came in originally. I liked that one very much but I think he’d be best as Jack the womanizing chauffeur rather than any pompous old dudes. When another dude wandered in halfway through they were basically all, “Thank God, another male!” Three older ladies and me and one other younger one in addition to the girl who worked at the theater in I Hate Hamlet and another girl who...I guess she was also working there because she didn’t audition. I have no idea.

Laure did well at the maid part but I was really freaked when the guy basically jumped on her at the start of the scene (it was in the script). I wanted to be all, “she’s fragile enough! Don’t break her!” After that she got rather bored and told me that maybe this show wasn’t for her because she didn’t want to sit and watch others act. I would like to note for the record that this is coming from a director... and in retrospect makes me crack up given how much she seemed to intermittently watch stuff during rehearsal and how I’d start doing things just to see if she’d notice. Sadly, no reaction from Scott about this on text because I would have expected more of one there.

I ended up reading for everyone (including the 50something maid!) except the near-blind shooter. I’m not sure why they quit before having anyone read for that, but...whatever. I totally winged doing an Irish accent and snooty English accents--badly since I’ve never really tried them, but what the hell. I’m doing it all for amusement anyway. I think I did the craziest of the drama queens, so that was fun.

Supposedly we will hear whatever in a few days.

I shall trust that I end up in the right show, whatever that may be. Hopefully there is one!

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