Team Unicorn Rides Again
2019-08-20, 10:20 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Tonight’s karaoke: Brian, Robert, Janene, Redhead Sarah, Zach. Brian and Robert had gone to the Viewing Room auditions tonight and said there were 16 people, mostly women, for 8 parts. Robert said the hippie character has to imitate the dead dad/channel him in a seance and can I do that? Um.... probably not convincingly, to be honest, I don’t do most imitations so well or most dudes. Sigh. Okay, mentally writing that one off too for the week...but whatever. I hear that Janene and Jean also plan to go tomorrow.
Robert got the “Turn Around, Bright Eyes” book and now has loaned it to Zach. So yay for that.
I gave Sarah her unicorn headband and we wore them all night and loaned them out to folks periodically. Jim in particular had fun wearing it. I sent out various amusing unicorn pics and ridiculous quotes to taunt/torture/amuse those who did not bother to show up to karaoke, because my evil secret goal is to make them all feel bad for missing out on the good times.
Sarah tells us about deciding to water a plant in the bathroom for 5 minutes and dust its leaves and whatnot while she’s there.
We decided to do Disney songs: “Something That I Want” from Tangled for me, “Part of Your World” for Sarah, “You’ll Be In My Heart” for Robert.
Also, Robert shared, as a guy was singing “My Way,” that people in the Philippines fucking murder each other over that song. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?
There was a guy there tonight who acted out a song even more than I do, so kudos to him. Ashley rocked “Love Story” by Taylor Swift.”
I seem to have better luck asking folks in person about going to shit lately than over electronic methods:
(a) Anyone who wants to meet up to go to Earthquake Festival should meet at Sarah’s around six (so far just me and her to my knowledge but you never know with this bunch, only one RSVP’d for bar tonight but we got more of ‘em).
I did “Something To Talk About” instead of Doris, who usually does it. She enjoyed my rendition and blew me kisses for that. I did “Something That I Want” for the second one.
Scott did not go tonight, which turned out to be an incredibly fortunate thing as the night went on because we had THE RETURN OF MEGHAN TRAINOR GIRL, god help me. Robert was all (on group text) “Aww Scott you’ll miss Meghan Trainor” and I saw that and was all “fuuuuuuuuuuck he went there.”
This was the point in the night where I debated taking Robert aside and going, “Dude, seriously, puh-leeze do NOT bring up the idea of fixing up Meghan Trainor Girl with him again, it flips him out,” except then I would be stuck at least partially explaining why this is a bad idea and god knows I really don’t wanna talk about this shit with any of this crowd or have any of them fucking knowing about it. In the end, I said nothing. Maybe I should have, I don’t know.This may bite me in the ass later.
Scott’s polite response to that was “I am sure you all shall enjoy her singing for me,” btw.
Then I was REALLY glad he didn’t show up when she decided to do “Don’t Stop Me Now.” I am pretty sure that Robert probably immediately started texting Scott about that one because she did Queen (very much “his” turf there) and Robert suddenly busted out texting so hard. I really wanted to attempt to walk behind him and peek at his phone or something, but did not. Mostly I just muttered obscenities to myself into my water glass and wished I could still drink alcohol at this time of the night (I stop drinking two hours before the bar closes) because oh dear god, if he’d been here this could have been so much worse. In fact, I have decided that if this sort of thing happens in the future (i.e. they’re both here and she sings something on “his” turf and thus everyone is highly likely to matchmake again) I am just gonna fucking walk out of the bar with no explanation or purse if I have to and go hide outdoors in the bushes or whatever for like ten minutes and claim I had a call or whatever until it all blows over. I don’t want to touch this shit with a fifty foot pole and I would really like to be excluded from that narrative.
Around 11ish, Jim got the idea to pay Matthew/the bar extra money to go another round for all of us to sing again. I’m not sure if this was the best idea because Sarah said Matthew dislocated a rib and was chugging pain medication or something(?) (not sure how she knows this?), but they did an extra 15 minutes for us all.
“My favorite part was the part where you’d say something really obscene and then go “ohhhhh....” -Sarah on “Little Red Corvette.”
Anyway.... good lord, did I ever have fucking secret soap opera shit going on in my head tonight. The rest of the night was much fun, but not that.