Chaos Attraction

Making It

2018-08-22, 10:49 p.m.

I havent gone on about Making It yet, have I? It’s a brilliant new show with Nick Offerman (famous woodworker/actor) and Amy Poehler (famous non-crafter but enthusiastic about it) hosting a feel good fun show where you get patches when you win competitions and there’s some prize money, but the real prize is getting to make stuff and hang out with nice people. They even help each other out in the competitions, including Nick and Amy.

Yes, I considered auditioning, but they wanted to see your social media profiles and I thought, NOPE. Looks like they cast two of them off blogging/YouTube and I am not famous, so nah, wouldn’t have gotten in anyway. That said, I do kind of wish I could recruit other people to start oh, re-enacting the craft competitions on this show with me.

They have a “Faster Craft” (3 hours) and “Master Craft” (time unstated), but you’re supposed to do some large cohesive project that’s usually about 2 items.

So far they have done:
* Your “secret beast” that represents your personality / quilt and photo album out of whatever you want to do it out of
* Terrariums representing their hometowns / child’s fort and toy
* A “snack stadium” for a party, followed by an outdoor party setup for four with an activity
* Improvised Halloween costumes / decorating a front porch for a holiday.

I like to think of what I might do for some of them, though for others I am stumped.

* I think I’d do some kind of craftopus for the secret beast, which in all honesty would probably come out like this shirt I have already. Yeah, copying, I admit it. But hey, other folks already did a unicorn and a bunny on the show (not that the show cares, two people did bees and were happy about it). But I have a bunch of mental tentacles doing all kinds of different things, so that’s appropriate.

* Quilt and photo album might be a stumper since (though it looks like the contestants were told to bring family pics ahead of time) it’s not like I’m close with anyone short of my parents really. But that’s still doing better than Jeff, whose family not only disowned him for being gay, but they sent a fucking funeral wreath to his work. Imagine the pain of doing a damn family photo album with THAT in your past. But he made it work with his current folks. So there is that. I just need current folks.

* As for a terrarium, I come from Nuclearville and seriously I’d want to put a mushroom cloud in it. One guy on the show keeps being criticized for being “dark” (his terrarium featured abandoned freeways he went to with his girlfriend, pretty cool actually) and well, I would top THAT, muahahah.

* I’d probably do a theater for the child’s fort since doing a castle would be cliche. Puppets for the toy, or props or something.

* Snack stadium...I guess it would have been Oscar themed since nobody did that one. I’ve only been to sports viewing parties though so who knows on the stuff.

* Outdoor party would probably have gotten me booted from the show because dear lord, I suck at making furniture/things bigger than me. I probably would have gone with a luau theme, which is again cliche but that is the sort of party I would throw IRL if I wasn’t too lazy to throw parties. Actually what I want to do someday is a “Blue Monday” luau-themed party in January, with leis over large sweaters and a lot of drinking.

* Not sure on the costume since I don’t know everything they had to work with in the barn, though they were assigned stuff like feather dusters, mop heads, coffee filters, loofahs and metal scrubbies to incorporate. I suspect some kind of puffy white dress idea would have come from some of that for me. Maybe a walking cake since most of them did food related items. “Do I look like a meringue?”

* As for the front porch, I would have done Easter all the way, though I should mention that the contestant who did Easter did it too chic and tastefully for the judges (who unabashedly want a “carnie” look, which has been difficult for a couple of the dudes who aren’t into that). I think I would have had like, multicolors and an egg hunt and oh, I dunno, make the porch into a giant basket somehow and go crazy with bunnies and chicks.

... Yeah, I wanna do this show. I’m not good enough for it (both to get cast and to be on it), but I wish. Also, Nick and Amy are idols of mine and they look super fun to hang out with.

Also, I have now totally caught up with a month's worth of entries! HUZZAH! I have Achieved! I also wrote up two newsletter posts and sent off two essays to a show audition thing, so I have written a lot. Go me!

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