Chaos Attraction

Auditions, Round 1

2016-08-28, 3:12 p.m.

So I did my first audition at the Comedy Spot this weekend, along with about 3/4 of my class and a few of my old classmates from other classes. There were thirteen of us there auditioning for Brian and Mel (who runs the Harold program), though one person said she just wanted to audition without being considered for a team. They told us to keep trying and practicing, they’d hold auditions every 3 months*, and they were probably going to make a few people do another scene twice, which they did. I’m not sure why that was, if they were overly good or bad or what. (Posting this after the fact, none of those people made a team.)

* I think in reality it’s kinda more like 6 months--previous auditions were in April and I’d be surprised if they actually did hold auditions in December. Especially if they are waiting on lining up more rehearsal/performance space before they let more people in.

We all just had an awesome time hanging out together before and after and doing our warmups.

Administrative note: I'm trying to get all these entries up months late and frankly, I don't remember all the details from the sketchy notes, so I'm leaving most of this in here without uh, any explanation.

Harold 1:
Monologue 1: naked shower in the pool
Monologue 2: girlfriend broke toilet
Monologue 3: being offered drugs when straight

Beat 1a: fixing fridge with duct tape
Beat 1b: showering at the public pool
Beat 1c: Christian boys getting drugs at college.
Group 1: old people party
Beat 2a: round 2 of that scene, trying to make it up to him, braided duct tape
Beat 2b: spending the night in Ikea
Beat 2c: rappers in college, Christian rap on the spot, VERY WELL DONE! (Black haired George said he used to do rapping after, this was his first time doing it in a show.)
Group 2: grade school black market mafia Crayola market
Beat 3a: waxing duct tape
Beat 3b: nuns at the bachelor party
Beat 3c: porta potty

Harold 2 (the one I was in):
Monologue 1: Finding bodily fluids when moving furniture at halfway houses.
Monologue 2: me talking about the SF How Weird Street Faire and traumatizing Mom
Monologue 3: Benton’s roommate in Ashland contemplating, i.e. masturbating in the shower.

Beat 1a: bodily fluids in couch
Beat 2a: hair in pizza (I walk on to get a pizza with leg hairs-what spice is this? Hungarian!)
Beat 3a: nail clippings in shampoo

Beat 2b: me and Mitch, he initiates, shower head fun in the military for boys and girls, I tell him shower heads are why I am taking 45 minute showers.
Beat 2b: Mitch explores the joys of his prostate with one, is forced to admit this to his supervisor
Beat 3b: we get an offer to join a showerhead company, hey, our military careers are tanked anyway so why not

Beat 3a: birthday party bounce house burning man (not sure what was this?)
Beat 3b: prison/dog care facility
(never got to finish)

Group 1: I initiate “I can do anything weird walking down the streets of SF.”
Group 2: pee funnel inventors meeting, there’s a car that runs on “something else.”

Four people were asked to repeat and do a partial Harold:
Monologue A: killing a crab
Monologue B: grew up in France, trying to hide that she’s American by not bringing a sandwich on a school field trip-got razzed for not bringing a sandwich instead.
Beat 1a: don’t make me wear 70’s wood platform shoes to school!
Beat 2a: serial killer, don’t kill me.
Beat 1b: carriage riding/racing
Beat 2b: mailman in the dungeon, safe word issues, humane serial killer.

It was really fun. I don’t think I’ll get in (on character if nothing else), but I did pretty good.

I later told this all to Matt, one of the CC managers and an actor, and he said he thinks I’m funny enough for improv and who cares if I can do characters or not? Interesting take there...

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