Chaos Attraction


2005-08-31, 4:11 p.m.

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Let's see: In my family we've got:

(a) two relatives going bonkers
(b) one with a broken wrist
(c) Dad (we all know this one) a permanent hospital resident
(d) one relative with cancer.

Guess what we're probably going to get to add to the list?

(e) ME with skin cancer.

I hate to jump the gun and go negative thinking here (and I'm not going to add this to the Bad Things Sidebar List yet...or at least, not until tomorrow), but I've got a Suspicious Mole, and we all pretty much know what that means, don't we?

Yeah, I know the whole ABCD routine. And a few days ago I noticed... Suspicious Mole on my right upper arm. I don't know if these links work if you don't have Kaiser, but I'm not logged in to read them, so maybe they will. Anyway, I've got the color issue shown here. It had a scab on it- I couldn't remember injuring myself there, but I'm always vaguely wounding myself in one way or another so I didn't think much about it. I couldn't really TELL too well on the color issue with a scab on it, so I figured that I'd wait until the scab came off to see how the thing looked. Well, according to this, THAT's also a sign of cancer.


They also put on the site that if you have something like this, it's a fucking call your doctor RIGHT NOW situation.


So I called today. Had to switch my official doctor that I love in Pleasanton to someone local before they'd even make me an appointment, because (for the moment, anyway, until I probably lose it and call my mom in hysterics tonight whenever I get off shift) I don't want to make an appointment there because I'd need a ride over and have to tell my mom what's going on.

I should probably wait to drop the "I have cancer" bomb on her until I have official verification of such so I'm the only one who has to worry obsessively for (days? weeks?) however long it takes to get this confirmed. She already has a fuckload dropped on her head right now, you know? And hopefully she won't be as perceptive as Dave is about being able to tell when Something Is Secretly Wrong With Me And I'm Not Telling You.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning to start the Do-I-Have-Cancer dance. Who knows how long it'll go on from there to get final confirmation.

It just fucking figures, doesn't it? Everyone else gets something awful going on, you KNOW I'd have to get struck by lightning by the end of the summer. And me getting cancer would be icing on the cake. I was seriously thinking something horrible would have to happen to Mom or me soon. At least it's me and not her, because her getting sick right now would be fucking disaster.

Jess said after the last announcement of family disaster that I'd better get a physical. Yeah, no fucking kidding.

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