Chaos Attraction

Concertgoing

2004-09-01, 8:56 p.m.

Monday night after I got off shift, I got a message on my cell from Anna. She was coming up to Marysville the next day to go to a concert, and had an extra ticket. Did I want to go? Hell yeah. I've wanted to go to a show all summer, but didn't have anyone to go with.

Anyway... here's some funny things I saw while I was there.

* There were signs posted saying "NO DRINKING IN THE PARKING LOT." What did I see a lot of on the way in?

* They searched us on the way in, and I can't help but think that if I had been bringing weed into the concert (not that I did, mind you) I so could have gotten away with it. Why do they even bother searching people?

* Anna hadn't gotten anything to eat for ages, so we had to get food at the concert. (Pizza: $7. Soda: $4 or $5, depending on cup. Water: $3.75. Fries: $4) Somehow she picked the line with the semi-retarded (I don't mean this in the "mentally challenged for medical reason" way, I mean this in a "seriously stupid" sort of way) woman running the counter. The line barely moved (we missed the opening act entirely). When we got up closer, we saw that she had a vacant look in her eyes, and in her teeth, and she obviously was having a hard time doing things like counting money, or figuring out orders.

We tried to order the easiest food we could think of. Anna ordered a hot dog, garlic fries, and a soda. "I don't know if we have those," she said about the hot dog. She went off to look for it for...awhile. Then she went to look for the garlic fries...for awhile.

When I got up, I decided to make it REALLY EASY. Ask for a hot dog, since SHE'D JUST GONE THERE AND ALL, and for BOTTLED WATER, which shouldn't even require her using a dispenser. Oh no, that was still too hard. Now keep in mind, I asked her JUST AFTER SHE'D GOTTEN A HOT DOG if there were any hot dogs. She said she thought there were. Then she disappeared for 10 minutes. Nope, no hot dogs any more. You'd THINK she would have noticed that from JUST A MINUTE AGO WHEN SHE WENT DOWN THERE. I finally gave up and ordered fries for dinner, since they were the only item within sight that was already made and dispensable. Finding the bottled water was easy, but she fucking TOOK THE CAP OFF and kept it! The only reason I ordered water rather than caffeinated beverage (which I really bloody needed) was so I could put away the drink rather than having to hold it all night! What is with that, anyway, some kind of anti-drug/security shit?

I did carry the water bottle all night- "I paid $3.75 for this, I am not chucking it out."

* After his first song (a new one) Dave Matthews came out and said something like, "Thank you very much." I said to Anna, "And that's the last thing we're going to understand out of him all night." She said, "I didn't even understand anything in the last song." The guy evidently speaks DaveLatin when saying anything beyond "Thank you very much."

* There was a girl running around in a fairy outfit. Evidently she was the Dave Matthews Fairy. Anna was all, "I dare you to wear that next time."

* Instead of flashing lighters, people flash cell phones these days. I saw some people attempting to take pictures with their camera phone, but considering all you could see in the picture was a square white space in the middle of dark, I doubt it worked too well. The people making phone calls *cough*nameswillnotbementioned*cough* during cracked me up too. God, if I made a phone call during a concert, it'd probably be nothing but me screaming, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M AT A CONCERT!"

* One guy nearby was grinding into his girlfriend's ass so hard I had to keep checking that her pants were still up. Because seriously, I had to wonder.

* Then there were the dingy chicks who showed up halfway through and would start yelling, "HE'S GONNA PLAY TYPICAL! WOO! TYPICALLLLLLLLLLL!!" during the quiet bits when he was just starting something new. One of them was yelling something to Dave, then said, "yeah, like we're on a first name basis." Hee.

* Pardon my rant for a second, but what is with the whole encore thing? Everyone knows that when they leave the stage, it ain't over, and obviously the lights on the stage are still on and the house lights are off. So it's just a "we're just gonna sit back and wait while you yell at us and gratify our egos." Anna said that her friends had timed how long it took him and the band to return recently and it had been ten minutes.

See, what was funny was that the yelling did NOT get louder and louder as people waited. Frankly, I think the audience just tired out. So the screaming for people to come back and play just, you know, didn't come off so well. More like someone nagging to do the dishes.

* Neither of us had ever been to Marysville before, and the amphitheater, while a good site, I suppose, is located in the boonies, on a 2-lane road, and there was major fucking bottleneck just trying to get out. I am not kidding when I say it took a full hour from when we got into the car to when we got to the road, and most of that time we were completely unable to move. We didn't get back to Jess's until after 1:30.

Let's just say that Mountain Dew is a godsend.


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