Chaos Attraction

The Phone Call Braved

2002-09-12, 8:26 p.m.

Surprisingly, the requisite phone call to Mom did not end in screaming or crying last night. Yay me.

I tried to plot it as best I could so Dave wouldn't be in the room to notice if screaming or crying occurred. We were playing You Don't Know Jack (I so kick ass at that), and he kept on playing it by himself after I said I had to go call. I then went in the other room "so I can hear better." Even then this wasn't quite foolproof, as he paused the game and came out twice (he got bored, pantomimed a flapping mouth to me, and went back to the game a few times) to keep me company. Fortunately he didn't really say much beyond flopping on the couch and rubbing my legs and occasionally mouthing something. I think he mouthed a "Hi, Mom!" at one point, but I didn't pass it on.

I am a bit ashamed to admit that I didn't tell Mom he was here. I kind of forgot to (explaining why he quit and not using the F-word was hard enough for her to get), but upon further reflection she'll probably only freak worse when she finds out that he's here for er, however long.

MOST of the conversation actually went "well" for us. I was a good daughter and let her rant on for 25 minutes about Grandma, the hospital she was at, whether or not she had a bleeding ulcer, and how Auntie Dolores is a stupid biyotch. I stayed calm, rational, sympathized. All went fine until I said "Uh, it's 11 p.m., and I need to go to bed now."

So much for trying to tactfully get off the phone without pain and anguish. "Why do you call me, anyway? You feel obligated to, don't you?" Well, let's see, you WHINE incessantly and have a

basket-casing-hissy-fit every time I don't, so YEAH. This unfortunately prompted her to go into how September 11 helped her realize the importance of family, but I don't consider family to be as important as she does. "You care about Dave more than you care about us. And you're not even married."

I kept my damn mouth shut, commenting only that "I don't know what to say to that."

"Well, that's enough."

She also made some kind of honesty reference again (I don't recall the specifics). I am starting to wonder if she actually thinks I'm being honest like she's been claiming, or if she's saying that to goad me into telling her The Truth about what I'm hiding from her.

What was weird was that right after saying this, she immediately launched into another topic altogether (Alicia and her lack of car parking at college). Bizarre. She let me off the phone after that.

After that, Dave was all "You're so concerned about her feelings when she clearly doesn't care about yours."

I don't know. When I'm not dealing with her in person, it's easier to realize that she's on some kind of mental crack, but while talking to her, I can't help but have the sense that she's right and I'm wrong, and it totally throws me off. Not to mention that I feel like shit for not being a good dutiful child.

Oh well, now I have three full days to not deal with her in person again. Yay to that.


I am nervous about Dave finding another job. He is sick of retail, and yet has no experience in anything else. And, well, he isn't into school. He has occasionally taken (or more frequently, attempted to take) classes at JC and elsewhere, but he just doesn't like how schools operate and teach students. He's more into figuring it out by himself and gets bored quickly if he can't. But let's face it, if you

want to do anything else in life these days, you really do have to go to school. I said as much to him last night and he agreed. He'll have to stick with retail for however long and take classes eventually, I guess. Too bad it's too late to sign up at the JC's around here.

I worry about him a bit with regards to stuff like this. It'll be a pretty big shock for him to (a) get a job here, (b) find somewhere else to "officially" live for the next year (he is currently complaining about how it's not affordable- hey, I warned you on that one), and (c) figure out the schooling thing, while (d) dealing with premarital crap for the next year or so. I have to selfishly admit that I'm glad it's not me that's doing all that, and he wanted to. What a load!


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