Chaos Attraction

Legoland

2019-09-19, 11:49 p.m.

So I finally went to Legoland today, the culmination of a lifelong dream of seeing a ton of things made out of Legos.

Note to all and sundry: there is some kind of “go pass” that one can buy in which one combines a trip to Legoland and a trip to Balboa Park...whatever, that Mom bought. And did not print out the tickets to. And did not have email on her phone. What I mean by this is, it took over an hour for us to get goddamned admitted into the park because of this snafu. Do not buy a Legoland ticket through a third party vendor, is what I am saying.

Anyway: Legoland was incredibly quiet today and almost entirely (except for us) populated by the parents of 4-year-olds. It seems to be geared towards them going by the rides. I wasn’t especially there for the rides and Mom forgot her seasickness meds today, so we went on the wimpiest of them. The park only allows one kid and one adult to be in certain vehicles, which is telling. I was also amused at the things that were such blatant ripoffs of Disneyland. I know all the parks do it, but their version of the Jungle Cruise in particular...and the poor “tour guide” who was seriously just counting the minutes until 5 p.m. openly.... well, that was very Jungle Cruise.

What I did like: Lego sculptures everywhere. An amusing 3-D video (oh, excuse me, 4-D) about the Lego Movie characters. The stuff I bought--a cheap display, a name sign kit (because I liked the Lego name tags employees had and one girl in particular had gone all out), more minifigs you make yourself and another Leia keychain. Sometimes the things I saw were secretly funny, like a tombstone for “Sir Cumference” and then there’s a sword on the top. Uh-HUH. But my favorite thing was “Miniland,” which has a lot of Lego replication of all the Star Wars everything (characters as minifigs and redoing the battles and buildings and Death Star), and then replications of NYC, SF, New Orleans, Las Vegas and Washington DC (sadly, I think there was a mini-Trump and Melania in there). I went to see things built out of Legos and I was not disappointed on that score.

That said, this is probably a one time event thing that I will be going to. Dunno on returning to it. They were decorating for Halloween (spiders/webs everywhere) and they threw in some Halloween witches and covens and pumpkin patches in Miniland and even a squashed witch on the Washington Monument. I saw one guy sitting on a toilet in the NYC section, hah.

The hotels are something else. The Castle Hotel was just the best. It had changeable Lego portraits that changed the picture when you walked past them, jesters and princesses and a magical wizard, a weird magic door, etc. Clearly it was The Place to stay. The Legoland Hotel was also well done but that was where all the screaming children went and it was a nuthouse.

So overall I’m pretty pleased to have finally seen it!


In other news, while hanging out with English people, I was introduced to the concept of a "shandy" (slight amount of beer + large amounts of 7Up = my kind of girly drink) and to the TV show Doc Martin, which my mom loves for some reason.

The whole thing was very weird. Doc Martin is a rather ugly, unhappy, unpleasant fellow that makes Daniel Craig look like sunshine and rainbows. Only in England is this guy the lead? He and his wife/baby are separated. Some guy gets grossly injured and then gets in the mud with his pigs. A teenage girl and her mother are fighting, then she gets sick, then she goes on the radio and not only sings badly but passes out, calling the host to yell out for the doctor on the radio, and then he comes in and gives her an emergency tracheotomy (ewwwwww).

Before the bad singing, there was some poor bloke who just wanted to advertise his new fishing business, but the host keeps asking who his girlfriend is and he isn't dating anyone (but clearly one of the "not my girlfriends" is not happy to hear this over the radio to EVERYONE). Then there's the shitty babysitter and the nice-but-not-good-at-his-job lone copper. Copper drops by the babysitter to tell her to move the pram in or else it'll get stolen, babysitter of course gets herself locked out, copper tries to pick the lock and can't do it and has to recruit a scammy teenage girl to do it, "my hero!" ensues with the babysitter.

This is a very weird show.

Later there was some extremely weird witch/demon/god knows what show on that I never understood, but it was freaky.


In other news, I finally heard back from Jean and she said that she and her daughter (Blonde) Sarah want to go to Little Shop and are there tickets still available? To which I was both glad to have heard from someone AND annoyed that now I'm on vacation and I'm going to have to deal with this shit and I really wanted it squared away before this week and next week. I still haven't heard from Cameron, so I finally said "Cameron, if you want in, please let me know before Saturday morning" (I knew I wasn't getting to shit tomorrow) "and if I haven't heard anything, I'm moving on without you." I felt like such a hardass but now is the fucking time.
I also heard from Robert saying he wanted to schedule the next puzzle room soon, but this discussion quickly boiled down to "uh, nobody's really able to do it until mid October," so there you go.
I am burned out on arranging shit, y'all.


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