Chaos Attraction

I Am A Colossal Fuckup, AGAIN

2020-10-08, 7:46 p.m.

Ways I fucked up for 8 hours straight yesterday:

* I ran out of emails to train other people in how I handle emails. I would like to say that I literally haven't run out of emails in ages, was not expecting that to happen, and only realized that I was about out as of about noon after doing them all morning, and then somehow another giant horde did not come in between 12-2:30. During training I was all, "well, this is what I did" and explained things I had done. This was NOT ACCEPTABLE and horrible and made my boss look bad and I was very disobedient for doing the emails when I was told not to do the emails. Unfortunately saying "I didn't mean to, I was just working" did not fly.

I said, should I just not do any emails at all? No. But if I don't do any all day and we only go through a few, then there's an avalanche. I guess I am just supposed to ask my boss about every little thing.

I would like to point out that it is very hard to know at one point you are going to run out of the emails, since in today's hour long training we got through a whopping two, and the other day I think we got through maybe 3-4. I just unluckily ran out on Wednesday.

* I forgot to change a template to add another column into it. (Really, all you had to say was "Oops, you forgot the column." "Sorry, adding it now." This did not need to be brought up again.)

* I don't start out emails by saying "Dear Whoever" every single time. GOD I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT FUCKING SALUTATIONS, ESPECIALLY WHEN Y'ALL KNOW EACH OTHER PRETTY WELL BY NOW AND IT'S NOT A STRANGER APPROACH and/or ongoing conversation. Literally, names are at the top. You know who it is.

*I write too long (or too short) of emails, either way, whatever I write is offensive and rude and dismissive sounding. I can no longer write my own emails. Any word choice I use is offensive. The word "just" is offensive, as in "can someone please just give me an exact date so I can process the thing."

* We got a weird email that I translated into "Other office wants us to do X," and apparently I should have known better to not do X at all, I should have reached out, I am very very bad for possibly damaging someone's ability to swipe their card to get into a building even though as far as I can tell the person lost those privileges about a month ago as is? Also, even though our process is to upload all the things, I should have known better than to upload THAT one.

I can't even explain the giant fuckup with the deadlines re: yesterday. I did not remember to check on that group, which is true. I am at a loss as to why others scheduled them for things next week, though? I can't say anything on that, for multiple reasons.

So it was another hour of anvils on my head and how awful I am and how I need to get all of my emails vetted by my boss daily before I can send them. I wished for death again.

Note: meanwhile, my coworkers on the training emails were all "Oh, yeah, we understand, those things are unpredictable." Somehow my team members are never as offended as management. I had to tell New Girl that odds are very high she will have to take over my job because I am so going to be fired. She was super nice. She's so sweet.

Charlotte's Web rehearsal was right after work, so I didn't have time to get drunk. We just read through the script for two hours. We also sort of got the schedule, or at least saw it on screen. I am glad I took a photo of this because they haven't sent the actual PDF's yet, wanted to know if we had any conflicts by TOMORROW, etc. It turns out I have one--they said they weren't going to do that many weekend rehearsals until the weekend and they are already having one on Saturday while I am reading Kelly's play. I said I'd just be late and the director said fine since I was here for this one. Other than that, mostly Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday a lot of the time, but not that much the first few weeks. I think they need to redo the schedule though, as several things seem off?

Dawn called after I got done and we talked about her husband having surgery, her sister being stuck in the hospital long term for an infection, and she wants to come over at a distance on the patio. Under the circumstances, I have to cave. I admitted I saw Scott in person and she was excited about it. "Worth it," I believe is what she said, and "I wanted to ask if you hugged...." Also, I ordered her a stuffed dachshund and she got it today. Huzzah for someone actually liking a gift.

Heard from Jess today, she has fled Arizona for New Mexico. I hope New Mexico is less awful.

Heard from Kelly and Shanna, who want to read "Tailwind" sometime this weekend, and Kelly did another draft of it today. God, it'll be nice to see them.

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