Chaos Attraction

A Cat, A Belt, and A Sword

2003-10-12, 10:37 p.m.

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(Note: There will be Kill Bill Vol. 1 spoilers towards the end of this entry. Be forewarned.)

We spent most of the weekend hanging out with Jeremy and his new girlfriend Rachel. Who is already a vast improvement from Nikki- actually has brain cells, employment, sense... We got along right off, as you can probably tell. Her roommate, Mina, sounds a lot worse than Hill could be on her crankiest days, only Mina is bipolar (insert music of DOOM here). She bitches constantly if anything isn't picked up immediately and leaves her crap all over the house herself, slams doors a LOT when I was over there, and apparently banged on Rachel's door when they were uh, getting busy. I don't mean knocked, I mean, came out, HIT the door and stomped away. I felt so much better, heh.

I think I'm supposed to go play D&D with them all next weekend. I got rather confused as to who in their D&D group had the weekend off or whatever.

At Dave's, we played around with the new family kitten, Lando Catrissian. He is so cute and so tiny, black with white belly/half of his face/feet, and big blue eyes. I am such a sucker for blue eyes. He liked to follow Dave around and crawl around the room and snag his claws on clothes ("Ow! Claw on my boob! Ow! Claw on my butt!"). I love kittens, but I don't enjoy the all-claws stage much. Adorable, though.

I managed to get most of the shopping done for Dad's birthday while there- we went to Wal-Mart for pet supplies and I called Mom while going through the bargain bins to ask her what to get. Miracle of miracles, I managed to find three acceptable DVD's, two of which were actually cheap. All I need to do is order a fourth, and I'm off the hook for this month's gifts. (I'm bored of buying him DVD's, but he likes nothing much else in the world, what can I do.)

While there, I also attempted to get some belts, as it seems that all my new pants are falling off me. I don't seem to be able to do well with pants any more- either they're painfully too tight or literally falling off my ass. I need a half size or something. Anyway, I had trouble belt-shopping there, as they only had sizes S, ML, XL, 2X, and 3X, and what I really needed, it seemed, was an L. The ML belt barely fit me on the largest hole, while the XL barely fit me on the smallest hole. I ended up buying the XL, presuming I will only get fatter, and then regretted it. On the tightest hole, the XL only barely keeps the pants from falling completely off my ass. I could do about as well with them off. I did also buy a black lace scarf to use as a belt, which, well...can only get so tightened either, I fear. Oh well, at least the long ends hanging down look cool and dramatic.

I am so not used to this hip-hugger thing, I don't know how the bimbo teenage girls do it. I guess I'll just have to get used to wearing large shirts that hide my majorly-revealed buttcrack this winter.

(Note: spoilers are going to start any minute now.)

On Sunday, we went out and saw Kill Bill, as this seemed to be the only movie we could both agree on. I honestly don't know why I wanted to see this movie, since it is totally the kind I normally refuse to see- a blood 'n gore flick that causes me to "watch" the movie hiding my eyes and moaning.

To be honest, this was pretty much the case here too, particularly during the big battle scene where Uma Thurman, whose character name is bleeped out through the entire thing for no good reason, kills and/or maims viciously the entire frigging yakuza (except for one scared guy, to whom she yells, "This is what happens when you play around with the yakuza! Now go home to your mother!"). Yes, really. The ENTIRE 88 guys and gals in the army, plus a few other folks. One girl, by herself. It makes you wonder how five people managed to put her in a coma four years ago if she could do that. (I guess being unarmed for the wedding + six months pregnant'll do that to a girl.) Frankly, I couldn't look at that. And I gotta say that having people spurt ENORMOUS FOUNTAINS OF BLOOD half the time they get injured in any way- and by enormous fountains, I mean that the human body could not possibly contain THAT much blood in it- just plain gets old and boring after awhile. I did spend most of this sequence burying my head in Dave's lap, but not in a naughty way.

Meanwhile, what was Dave doing during this scene? Taking a frigging phone call.

Here's us, about ten minutes before the movie started:

J: "Dude, turn off your cell phone."

D: "Oh, I don't get any reception in here."

J: "You never know. Heather told me the other day that she normally never got reception in one classroom, except the other day she did and she got a phone call in the middle of class."

D: (goes to check phone) "Huh, I do have a bar. Go figure." (messes with phone, puts it back.)

Turns out he put it on vibrate, and wouldn't you know it that Jeremy calls during the aforementioned yakuza carnage scene. And he fucking took the call! He's having a conversation with him about gaming during the movie! I'm not only hiding from the movie, but from the expected onslaught of annoyed moviegoers. After he got off the phone, I was all, "Sweet Jesus, you took the fucking phone call? DURING THE MOVIE?" I suspect the only reason nobody else around us griped was because I got to him first. Oy!

Anyway, despite the carnage, general lack of plot, weirdness and more carnage, the movie wasn't all that bad. Go figure. I can't really explain why, either. Maybe I just enjoyed Uma's tough-as-nails-ness, not to mention the whole righteous revenge thing. After having your wedding guests and future husband slaughtered by your lover/boss and coworkers, being in a coma for four years and waking up to find out that a nurse has been pimping you out to any lonely trucker that drives by, well, you just can't blame anyone in that situation for having issues and taking them out on everyone. Hell, you almost understand her insistence on killing the woman who's acquired a four-year-old daughter and husband of her own during coma time, even if the daughter (named Nikita, heh heh heh)'s in the house and likely to wander out at any moment.

You also get later on why QT has the movie out of order- he shows the last scene timewise first- because a showdown in a kitchen with knives just isn't nearly as showy as offing the entire yakuza. She only manages to get through two out of the five on her list in the first two hours, and lord knows ahem, that could have been tightened up (how long is Part 2 if she needs to get through 3 more people at her current rate?), but I still stayed interested anyway. Especially at the cliffhanger ending- oy VEY, is that gonna lead to some explosions later.

Much as I am a bit embarrassed to admit, I'll be watching Part 2 later on.

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