Chaos Attraction

Bar Drama

2019-10-15, 9:51 p.m.

Quotes from my shrink after I said I’m not good at building anything bigger than me: “You’re trying to build a relationship, that’s bigger than you.” and “Don’t you hate it when you try to talk furniture and your therapist says, oh, I thought you were talking about life?” And slightly less on topic, “We’re all crazy in our lovely little way.”

I’m sorry I had session today and then I don’t have any for two weeks (she’s going to Italy) because I didn’t have much to talk about during the day and then HOO BOY, THE SHIT THAT WENT DOWN AT NIGHTTIME.

I had three heart related synchronicities going on today: spotted a “Love” sticker on a car, got a heart shaped quiche at the work potluck, and saw a heart drawn on the sidewalk in chalk at the neighbor’s house. That was all cute enough, right?

Well, my car did the thing where it changed radio stations again. I freaking pulled over when I saw it to try to figure out what was going on. This time it turned the Dave Matthews channel into the Billy Joel channel, but as far as I could tell from research on the Sirius website, there’s no longer any mention of the DMB channel and they’ve added(?) Billy Joel. So in that case it may not be supernatural weirdness. The song playing at the time I saw it was “And So It Goes” (not a favorite, too emo) and seems to be a moping about an ex song, so make of that what you will. But I felt like the chaos magneting was ramping up throughout the day somehow and hoo boy, did it go off at the bar.

I admit I did some of it to myself. I got a rainbow wig (drastically on sale at JoAnn’s) over the weekend and decided to wear it to the bar, which went over well with folks. Especially Ashley. Though I ended up basically losing the safety pins out of it and taking it off after a few hours because it was falling off. I had Sarah fix it, but it didn’t last long.

It turned out that The Viewing Room cast decided to have their cast party at the bar on karaoke night (Jesse’s idea, surprisingly, I guess Robert/Scott had nothing to do with it?). Dona, Jesse’s wife, freaking LOVED it. She was adorable. She said she can’t sing and I was all, neither can I. Heck, Cameron even came, which is kind of shocking on many levels since she is not a party person and she has been all, “I am not going to karaoke, not even if you drag me by the hair, I will scream like a banshee” about it. (Not obnoxiously, mind you, but y’know, polite fair warning.) She seemed to be having a good time...well, for most of it, anyway, see below.

I eventually took the opportunity, while she was there, to sing “Hot n’ Cold” and dedicate it to her since this opportunity may never come this way again. Scott was hugely amused at this and said everyone else at the table, including Cameron, liked it. (Note: the next day I talked to her and she was very flattered to have a song dedicated to her, and she knew right off which one it would be when I started that.)

Fun fact I found out from Scott: Don’t Stop Me Now is the happiest song in the world. That’s very cute.

Robert and I discussed once again planning a trip to Rocky Horror to see Original Blonde Sarah, so that’s another thing to work on. What am I, nuts to do trip planning again?

Sarah came in with her girl posse of Sarajean and a girl I hadn’t met before, Elena, who seemed cool. I was so divided on who to hang out with because there were so many fun folks around.

However, all of this got drowned out after awhile because Badger got REALLY REALLY DRUNK tonight and instead of being up to his usual shenanigans that nobody really minds...

I’ll put it this way: Normally I don’t hang out in bars alone/without a bodyguard (okay, so I wasn’t alone here and could have fished up bodyguards, obviously) because of my crazy magnetness. This place has been fine. And while Badger has always been the most identifiable Most Likely To Be Troublesome dude in the bar, he really hasn’t red flagged me. Also I am not on his boner radar usually and he isn’t normally paying much or any attention to me, so that’s a thing to keep a girl out of trouble. However, dude was drunk enough to have everybody on boner radar tonight. When he walked up and kissed the top of my wig, I shoulda known better. At the time I just thought it was weird/funny. Clearly I must have been out of my damn mind or got too comfortable or something to have not taken precautions and avoided the drunk guy. I shoulda known better.

Even dumber: I was in the mood to dance during “California Gurls” that Sarah was singing and the only one up for that was Badger. So okay, I gave it a shot dancing with him and he turned into Mr. Humping Bunny. Humped me, which I danced away from. Humped the back of Robert’s chair while Robert was in it, which was random and I ended up pulling him off Robert. And finally, Cameron was trying to leave the bar and Badger, not knowing her whatsoever, started humping her ass from behind. I yanked him off her too. Geez, it was already practically a miracle that the girl even went out here for the night, now you know she’ll never be back.

I attempted to have A Talk with Badger about how not everyone is down with the humping. His response to this was “anyone who has a problem with it can take it up with me.” At which point I was all, yeah, not gonna make a dent here, now am I.

After this, Sarah/Sarajean/Elena all got up and sung “No Scrubs,” which was the most appropriate part of the night.

I did not see all of the shenanigans that went on with Badger that night, but Scott said he saw the following:
(a) Badger walking up to some random girl with her presumed SO and forcing a kiss.
(b) Badger literally flipping an 80 year old woman end over end and then bragging about her age (to which Scott was all, you’re not supposed to out a woman’s age...).
(c) Badger somehow getting fresh with Pyrate Matthew’s mother.

And I observed Badger also getting fresh with the bar owner’s wife (same one he flipped, I think). However, she seemed....fine with this? Overly close facial snuggling was going on right in front of her husband. I have no idea if the husband was bothered or not at the time since I was behind him, all I can say is that both of them seemed cheerfully fine when saying goodbye to me at closing time. However, I took some photos of this because I feel compelled to document the crazy, and the last one in particular looks really bad and her husband is like, covering his face or something.

At the end of the night, Scott asked me if I tried talking to Badger about his behavior and when I recounted how that went, decided to have A Talk with Badger himself. This did not go terribly well given how drunk Badger was, as he just claimed to be having fun and at one point said something like “You’re not allowed to have fun in California,” which may now be a running joke among our crew in the future for how silly that shit is. He kept saying if Cameron had a problem with it she should have taken it up with him and I guess was trying to be all, how would you know if she didn’t like it, and Scott was all, I know her better than you do.

I hung around as backup and when Badger asked how I felt about it, I forget exactly how I said it, but I wasn’t thrilled with it either. I was basically all, I’m fine as long as you don’t go around humping. To which he was all “I will never touch you again.” Fine, dude, I can live with that. Anyway, at this point I think we were all concerned that Badger might start throwing punches or something, but it didn’t get that far at least. I ended up kinda running for it in case my presence made anything more crazy, so I missed the last bit of that conversation.

After I got home I texted Scott to see what went down after I left and we ended up texting about all the various crazy shit he saw. He also said he heard from Matthew saying that he wants to have A Talk with bar management/ownership about getting Badger banned from his shows or else he’s going to quit. This makes me nervous. Scott thinks Matthew brings in enough business to have the leverage, but I don’t tend to trust that folks are going to do anything so I am rather nervous about the whole thing. I would honestly be fine with Badger just like, being thrown out if he acts like that again since that isn’t his usual, but who knows.

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