Chaos Attraction

Lost and Found

2018-10-17, 5:04 p.m.

Today was a real fucking lulu.

I woke up around 2 a.m. and could not get back to sleep. I gave up on trying around 4:45 a.m. and sat around watching various CW superhero shows. Around oh, 7ish or so, I decided to get on with paying my bills due for the month. I couldn’t find my checkbook (sorta typical), but then I couldn’t find my wallet. Anywhere.

I hadn’t done much with it last night--I’d gone to the library and gotten my card out of it there--but was I stupid enough to just not put it back into my purse? Apparently, yes.

I’d left the wallet ON THE EFFING COUNTER at 6 p.m., nobody at the library had called me about this, and it was three hours before the library opened at 10 a.m. Unfortunately, Loretta had been telling me about having her identity stolen recently and I couldn’t help but think I was likely to be reasonably fucked (though my bank account hadn’t been touched, at least).

So I called and had my credit cards canceled. Didn’t really want to, but better safe than sorry. The phone number for whatever damn organization (not your bank/credit union, apparently) does this is at least not super particular about you knowing all of your information that you just lost. I tried to call my regular bank, on the other hand, and could not get anywhere without giving them all of the information that I had lost.

I called out from work (my boss lost his wallet recently so he understood) and prepared to spend the day at my bank, at my local credit union, and the DMV with no appointment. I packed half the library books I’d gotten last night and a lunch to do that last one.

Bank, Round 1 (opened 9 a.m.): The branch manager was very nice, put my bank card on a temporary hold, gave me an ATM card I could only use there but not to actually buy anything else, and a few checks for my bills. She told me to call her later about this, especially where I left off on check numbers because I didn’t know I should bring my old checks along to the bank with my passport. (Note: one thing the passport was good for: backup ID.)

Post Office: Opened at 9:30, I had to go buy stamps to pay the bills.

Library: Opened at 10, they had my wallet, untouched. Now I felt kind of stupid for canceling (like I did years ago when my wallet got left in my roommate’s car overnight when she was in a divey end of Sacramento), but at least not everything had to be undone and replaced.

Credit Union, Round 1: I was told by the card-canceling company that I’d have to go to this credit union in person to get a new card, I went over there and the guy was all “no, it’s fine, your card is still active.” I was relieved on the one hand, but on the other hand was all, is whatever company that does that (NOT your bank or credit union, y’all) actually working? What is going on? I texted my mom who used to work in banks--she was a fucking champ about this actually and did not flip out at me at all for a change--and she was all, “don’t know, maybe they haven’t done it yet.”

I went home and called my other credit union (in another state), which was tricky because they have multiple 800#’s and most of them I could not get to work without my account number. One of them offered me a free cruise and then hung up on me when I wouldn’t push one to accept it. I finally just called them in the other state and they said it hadn’t been canceled either.

At this point I was both relieved and confused.

Bank, Round 2: I went back to the bank and talked to the manager again and she reactivated my old card, which now works again. Asked about the credit cards and she said they might just not have gone through the system yet.

Credit Union, Round 2: I went back to the same guy as before and he was all, “no, it’s fine....” I asked if I could, I dunno, have some note put on it NOT to cancel them and he called somebody, who said that no, it’s been canceled after all.

I didn’t bother to call the other one again, I’m assuming they all were at this point. Sigh.

Then I went home and found the management were replacing all the deadbolts, which I thought was happening tomorrow but hey, it worked out because hey, while you’re here, can you fix my toilet? I got both the guy manager (not the on-site lady I’ve been getting ducked by) to look at it and the repair guy was actually here. They decided that the toilet handle was sticky and replaced it. THANK GAWD FINALLY. Note to self: must wait until they are actually around to get results, apparently. That was fixed in...what, 45 minutes even though he had to go to the store.

After that, I went back to bed.

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