Chaos Attraction

A Richard Cory Situation

2015-10-20, 9:27 p.m.

Well, no sooner did I get back from my therapy phone call today--bad timing--than I found out the verdict of this: suicide.

I find this very hard to believe.

(This should be obvious at this point, but if this subject matter triggers you, click away.)

I had a fun conversation with a coworker after this about how she doesn't think people have the right to take their own lives and interfere with the destiny God gave them, whatever that was. I don't know about that. Well, I also think some folks just plain don't have much or any of a destiny, but saying you have no right to leave before God takes you isn't something I agree with. At the very least I'm for death with dignity laws--thank you, Jerry Brown, so if I ever come down with something awful and fatal I won't have to move out of state to beat the worst of it.

Pretty much everyone I know who's made attempts...well, uh, it wasn't a shock to find out that information. I knew they had depression issues. Hell, most of us probably do on some level. I have two cousins in particular in other states (not usually mentioned here since I am not in contact with them, take a wild guess why) who have had depression issues for so long. At least one of them, I think they've just plain run out of ideas as to anything else they can try. They've been unhappy for so long.

If one or both of them ever ah, succeeds...well, I can't say I'd blame them. I don't think in all good conscience I can say, "No, you have to stay here because people love you and would be sad," or "Maybe someday they'll find the right meds to help you!" We're pretty much at the stage of leeches here for not really knowing how or if anything works without a long trial and error period and a crapton of side effects. Can I, in all good conscience, say, "No, you have to stay here no matter how miserable you are, maybe we'll figure it out in five, ten, fifty years?" I'm not saying "go to it," but more like "in some cases, I can get why you feel that way."

But like I said, I'm thinking of people I know who have been obviously depressed around me. And this guy was clearly not doing that. Hell, he was naturally cheerful, not the fakeass nauseating crap I have to put on at work. As far as I can tell, it was a Richard Cory sort of situation. And that is not something I have experience with, because he must have been one of the great fronters ever and nobody had any idea.

Fuck if I know what to say any more.

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