Work is quiet lately, awesome. I got what I wanted to done, avoided what I didn't want to do, and someone else fixed the tech crap. Huzzah. And tomorrow I have off. In other news, I got my not-illness-related quarterly shot today and the new nurse was awesome and got me out of there in like 45 seconds. She's great, can we keep her?

My therapy session: therapist has bought a house in Pennsylvania and will be stressing on move stuff next week, so no session (sigh). I told her that I talked to Mom about this and there was some commentary about Mom will be doing whatever she wants regardless of what I want and "she had to get involved and not tell you," and what was with her timing anyway, and she didn't think my therapist would tell her?!

On to this weekend:
* She was all "Of course they did!" about me wondering if Robert and Scott talked about my disappearance for months.
* I said I do not know how the hell he somehow just...makes things normal.... an she said, "by just being him."
* I have down the note "be honest--I didn't know that you cared," which, legit.
* I said that I'm seriously considering just having A Talk with him about why I stopped talking to him, and she said, "I think you need to do it and I think he needs to hear it."
* "I suspect you are now the only person he is like this with."
* We agreed that if I try to write it down in any way it could get ignored.
* I forget what I said exactly...something along the lines of "When you ignored me, I reasonably assumed you didn't like me any more and acted accordingly--" and she said, "if you said what you said to me, it would be perfect."
* He may have felt he didn't know how to respond. We don't know the context that created it and he's acknowledging it--he's opened it as a topic of conversation.
* Don't go there on his not going to karaoke.
* He asked you a question that you've been thinking about a lot-provoked a lot of thoughts with me.
* I don't need any response, I just want to share with you what was going on with creating the situation of not hearing from me. Don't want to hurt his feelings....
* I don't feel comfortable bothering someone who doesn't want to hear from me. * Use the words that are genuine
* After I contact someone, I assume they don't wanna know me. So I assumed you didn't like me any more.
* It it makes it hard to know what to do--I go to the place of he doesn't like me.
* I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, but I don't feel comfortable reaching out if I'm pressuring you or being too much.
* She said "don't do it at his work." I concur I don't really want to do it in public, but going out for a meal and having this conversation? shudder Out walking in public? *shudder* I think we agreed the best option was to talk to him at his work after they close or something like that.
* She suggested that I suggest some other group activity to Robert--direct quote, "Allow him to be your pimp." She also suggested bringing this up with Robert--"he's the perfect person to bring this up to." *
I said that cord didn't cut at all and she said it's a chemical thing--it happened to her once with an ex, had a physical charge with someone that has never happened before or since.
* He's scared. "You guys have to be able to work through this in order to communicate well."
* "You are learning how to not be pushy. You're learning it beautifully, I must say."
* She said I was adulting and that is why we are still continuing, and said "huge freaking mondo progress."
* I probably have to teach this guy how to be in a relationship.

It took me hours and hours and some rum punch to get up the nerve to text Robert, something like, "So....I would like to talk to you about the whole Scott situation. Is that a thing you'd be interested in/want to do?" He said sure, what's the situation and when do I want to talk, I said whenever and uh...hard to describe, and he said he was hanging out with Scott online tonight, so maybe tomorrow.

Now to try to think about something else for awhile.

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