Went to bed around 8-ish p.m, woke up irrevocably at 2-ish a.m. Fuckadoo, what is the point of that. Why can I only sleep for 5 hours these days? Like every night my body decides it's done, or slightly hot, or wants to blow nose, or god knows what and then it's DONE. Grrr, argh.

Work was seriously very quiet, thank goodness. Hung out with Yemi online at lunch and told her about the Scott situation and she was all "talk to him" and "guys are like a 4 month old puppy, you can't expect them to learn anything." I got a letter from Cameron about Halloween and wrote her back about same. She actually expressed some interest in hanging out before the end of the year, which I would encourage, but we'll see if she follows up. I went for a walk and did some weightlifting today. I walked by a lady in a "Show Some Love" shirt and then another one wearing a Queen shirt. Ahem.

Did briefly text with (Redhead) Sarah to tell her what went on, she said "I told you he didn't hate you. I'm so glad it wasn't weird," and "He was perhaps completely oblivious the whole time, or was never bothered at all, really?" and "You can cut unhealthy cords and they'll wither. Healthy attachment grows again." She also said that Robert has to initiate everything with her too, and "You can be done if you want. You can be his friend. If you want to take a chance on romance you could just be very direct. It's all up to you." And then I got all defensive about not asking him out and she stopped talking to me. Oops, I did it again :P

I did draft a "what to say to Scott" in the wee small hours of the morning and sent it to my shrink, who approved almost all of it, and then when I wanked on at her, said "You decided a long time ago that he was worth it. Ask him. Finish this out. Really go for it. Definitely rehearse," but I couldn't really do that last one during the walk today like I had planned.

I finally tried texting him at 9:30. As of 10, no response. Well, I guess that would end the debate right there if I don't hear back, wouldn't it? No worries about the whole thing....

Today's video (#1): Leadership card--"I am sensing that there's this energy where perhaps someone in this connection is hoping someone else will take the lead." This connection feels directionless and you will be finding more direction in the next few weeks, which you need. * Ganesha card--remover of obstacles, finding solutions, finding a way forward for you both. * 10 of Swords--this might feel to you like it's over, you're feeling done with this. * "Feels like a dream coming true." * "Your person felt the same way about you, you didn't imagine it." * It would be easier for you if they said they were struggling, but they've shut you out. They are protecting their heart chakra. Can they thaw out of this energy or is it permanent? * "What I'm hearing from spirit is that they've changed their tune." * "It would be easier on you if you understood." * "Divine match but different people coming from different places." * Can they change the way they've been showing up for you? "This is a solid yes. The Sun, yes. You couldn't get a more positive card for that question." There's an inner shift for them. They are capable of changing, this is a temporary thing they are going through. * "That is such a solid yes from spirit." * Energy to progress from this. This decision of which direction to go to. "All roads lead to your union." "I see union here or a reunion with the 6 of Cups coming in. This is something that can be overcome." * There is an obstacle, but it will be solved. Energy of reconciliation/amends. * It's taking a lot of energy for them to not contact you, to stay away from you, because it isn't a natural authentic expression for them." *"You express things differently but you're feeling the same."

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