Chaos Attraction

A Conversation With The Universe

2019-11-04, 7:19 p.m.


Last day of fall....I always think of the day after the time change as the last day of fall, because The Cold Snap here always starts the day after the time snap. I tried to remember what that card deck was from yesterday, found a “free” (really free for about a week) iTunes app of the deck, looked at it, and was all, “I have got to go back and get this.” So I did, along with doing other stuff like grocery shopping.

Today’s synchronicities: (a) seeing a license plate saying “4 MY (heart)” on the freeway, and (b) a heart shaped fossilized gum out by the dumpster at my apartment complex. Ew on the last bit, but...yeah, that was heart shaped. So that is still going on.

In the afternoon, I decided to enjoy the weather while I still could and went outside to hike around, read Toil and Trouble, and try out my new card deck. I went to the bathroom at the library at one point and ended up meeting a nice nerdgirl named Bonnie in the bathroom (she has the same iridescent purple glasses that I do!) when she commented on my “Here Comes The General” shirt, even though she said she’d never watched the original Star Wars trilogy but maybe would give it a shot. She seemed very nice and I said I hoped we’d run into each other again and she said, “Of course!” Well, hopefully. And not in the toilet region either, because that's a bit of a mood killer for me.

I am loving Toil and Trouble, y’all. That book is SO about what it is like to be a witch and witch life and how the weird things go around you. I bet this book has not been a hit for exactly that reason because 90% of the world thinks you’re a fucking weirdo if you admit it (the other 10% are quietly raising their hands but hoping you don’t see them doing it), but I doubt Augusten Burroughs cares at this point. I also like how he mentions his boyfriend’s reactions to the whole thing. I had heard that there was a lot of stuff about them buying a house in Connecticut that sounded like a lot of “who cares” to me because housebuying bores the shit out of me, but it ties in with the witchy stuff because he mentions how his witchiness affects the house hunt, finding the right house, finding the right realtor who is also a witch, etc. Loving it!

I also did a bunch of readings with the new deck, which were nice and hopeful. I have been straight up wanting to have A Conversation With The Universe about all the shit going on lately with me, and said as much to the universe while driving home alone last night. The last week has seriously made me think that this whole crush thing is pointless and stupid and that if I was a sane and normal girl, I’d get over it. I am really strongly leaning towards going “fuck this, I’m out,” but I have all these signs going on all over the place and I feel like that means something is going on that I don’t know about that the universe is in favor of. So I wanted to talk to someone about it and god knows I can’t talk to my shrink for a few more days on the topic anyway, and I so far don’t feel like resorting to paying a psychic or hitting up Formerly Redhead Sarah and/or anyone else in the witch posse since they know him, and Meg is too far away to do readings with or at least I can’t talk her into doing one when not in person.

The selling point to me about this deck was that it said it was designed to help you have a direct dialogue with the universe, and it did. It was very comforting and saying that I’m on the right path/going in the right direction, though it also seems to be encouraging me to speak up and man, I don’t wanna.

Cards were indicating that I am on some kind of journey of the soul, I shouldn’t be retreating and hiding (even though I want to), I should be letting go of things that I once defined myself by (being permanently single? is that what it’s referring to?), that I’m already doing what I should be doing and I don’t need to overthink it.

The advice given was to (a) speak up or sing or write or something, and (b) take a leap and (c) ask for help, (d) let got of old ways that don’t serve me, and (e) have courage.

I .... dunno on this, exactly. I’ve been saying that if he shows signs of being into me that much, being over his shit, my getting a psychic ping/go light, whatever, then fine, I’ll ask him out. I still stand by that because lord knows I do not think he is ready yet and who the fuck knows if that’ll ever happen. I don’t think whatever the hell this is is up for it. But....well, the “no” card didn’t come up (yes, there is one in the deck) and everything else seemed to be all thumbs up from the universe. And hell, he did get up the nerve to ask about getting together in Sacramento, which is huge for him! So there’s that at least...even if I’m clearly outshined.

We shall see, I guess.


Normally today is when the weather officially turns to Winter Shithole, but it’s still in the 70’s in the afternoon today. Hi, global warming! I will enjoy this while it lasts! Even if I still have to wear a huge coat and two pairs of leggings in the morning, ditch that stuff in the afternoons and then put it all back on at night!

I was telling some coworkers about some of the shit I have been through around here, and one of the student employees said I have a nice phone voice and I was all, the irony. I said I HAVE to have a phone voice or else someone tries to get me fired.

I am making a bunch of crocheted pies for Jackie’s grandmother’s birthday party on Saturday. So far I finished a mince and a pumpkin and am still working on the cherry.

The police caught the carjacker from Halloween, so that’s a yay.

Today’s synchronicities:
(a) Walked by Jean’s house and noticed she has a heart on her back gate.
(b) Went to the library to pick up “Lust and Wonder,” saw two books called “Love Life” and “Midnight Magic,” but that is more of a coincidence really, isn’t it?
(c) Saw a girl with a cute hamburger backpack (Habit Burger?).
(d) Saw another girl with a bag saying “Mrs. Right.”
(e) Saw a girl with a “Love More” shirt on.

I admit maybe today’s list is very very easy coincidences rather than actual signs?

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