Chaos Attraction

Plusses and Minusses

2018-11-07, 9:05 p.m.

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Air Quality - 2018-11-13
Art Shows, Improv, Cooking, Angst - 2018-11-12
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Monday:

Boss was out sick today and I was all, wah, you have a week left and you’re out one day? Bummer.

I had my first team meeting with my new team and oh lord, just hearing about all the shit I used to deal with and will immediately have to deal with again made me very depressed.

There’s some plusses to this change, but sadly the minusses really outweigh it.

Plusses:
* Get away from shitty people who hate me, will no longer have to spend 70% of my life around people who hate me and may lose their minds if they hear me at all.
* People on this team are much nicer and have “we’re all in this together” attitude instead of shitty snobbiness assholitude.
* Currently get along with manager, who knows me and The Situation and I don’t have to explain why my team hates me.
* Presumably can get backup for when I go on vacation, at least.

Minusses:
* Phones
* Front counter
* It will be a thousand times easier for me to get in trouble doing phones and front counter.
* Gonna have a much shittier desk space (no drawers, no ability to decorate my cube AT ALL, not even getting a cube) in the call center, which will probably be noisy as fuck.
* Have to take on tons more stressful work, some of which I don’t really wanna do or do again. I don’t mind some of it, some other stuff I do.
* Have to give up doing work I actually like doing.
* Can’t think of a way to put this change on my resume without it sounding like a demotion.
* Am afraid manager will start to hate me once I start getting in trouble all the time, which will happen even if my shitty ex-team isn’t always reporting on me any more.

I ran into that girl who’s being bullied again and had to tell her just how bad things were going for me. She was trying to look on the bright side about it (like, could you get promoted, she asked? Uh, no, this is actually backsliding for that matter), but...can’t really. Gah.

In other news, at knitting group on Monday I was reminded that one of our members had an article in an advert section of the paper, which mentioned her job. Now I’d heard about her job before--essentially she illustrates conversations, which sounds cool and sounded even cooler on her website when I looked at it later. I have no idea if this would help me or not or if it’s financially feasible, but part of me wants to ask about it because sometimes I wonder if someone else just wrote down my angstiness if that would get me somewhere.

Uh, probably not though. Also I’m not seeing her again for another week or so (group doesn't run on holidays) and I will probably forget about it by then.


Tuesday:

Hung out with boss a bit--he covered a problem I had no idea about, and I am gonna miss that. We also had election chat since I got myself some buttons saying “I voted absentee” and “I voted because women are people too.”

I ignored the election results all night to finish making my boss’s goodbye present--a Lego minifig out of yarn. I customized it to look like an old school Lego Han Solo. It was a tricky project and I think I ended up remaking almost all of it at one point or another for misreading the instructions and at one point, sewing the clothes on backwards. I added some odd leg hinges to the pattern and one of them came out weird, but...whatever, I can’t take it out, I’m not starting it over and I’m just gonna go with it. The thing looks cute!

In other news, yay midterms that went pretty well. Yay House.

Had a talk with my shrink about job hunting and moving and stuff like that that went well. Then I went home and...didn’t work on job hunting and just finished the present all night. Well, I reread the ones with the closest due date and they all had front counter and phone work listed in the job descriptions and I was all “fuck that, I’d rather make this Lego.” That needed doing, mind you, but my procrastination on this fucking shit when I am not normally a procrastinator on things that don’t involve cleaning is bad. I asked Jackie about how recruiters work--not how I thought they worked apparently--and I think she is annoyed at me for not frantically job hunting or for wanting to apply for what she found for me. I can’t blame her. I have no justification for not doing it other than I don’t wanna, I don’t really like any of the jobs and the more I read up on them the more I really don’t want them.

I hate midlife crisis.


Wednesday:

We had our last team meeting today, which about went how you’d figure: they’re on the farthest end from me with the cooties, we talked enough to discuss what we were supposed to be discussing but that was it, my boss said a nice farewell and who knows if the rest of them even care, etc.

He actually gave me a security camera today--after my robbery he offered me his old one since he’d replaced it, and I forgot about it but he did give it to me today. Very nice! He also got a bunch of other stuff done for me workwise too. Seriously, dude’s the best. Someday I’d like to meet someone like him except if we both were into each other sexually. Har.

(Uh...I feel like I’m giving people the impression that I have a crush on my boss with all this praise. There’s no psychic ping there for me and we just have friend chemistry and he’s married and I do not have one, but I do think he’s a super great guy, just the sort I would be friends with. Super kind beta male geeks are the best.)

I went to an improv class tonight through our local troupe that I saw last weekend. It was great fun. We did games mostly, then scenes, then back to games. I instigated a scene about a snowman made out of dirt that looked suspiciously like poop, and then jumped into a scene about porcelain figures that move around at night and get wasted. We also did this one game...I forget what it’s called, the one where you pass around an energy ball and go “whoosh” or “tron” or “ramp” or whatever, except this time they started throwing in random shit like “Monorail!” (everyone turn around and applaud technology) or “The Duke brothers (fill in the blank on something silly), where everyone runs around shooting, or “Prison break!” (everyone runs around and pretends to shank people) or a tug of war, or whatever they made up. I added in “full moon!” (pretending to moon people) and “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” (use your imagination) and others did them too, which was fun. I loved that game.

I miss doing improv more often. I am signed up for a workshop at the Comedy Spot this weekend, so yay for that. And HOPEFULLY that Tuesday class runs again next week.


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