2020-11-10, 7:54 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Work: still pissing me off. I nearly got myself into huge trouble today suggesting that "hey, why don't you email us directly instead of the email address on the form, because the people running that email address just forward half of it to us anyway?" This sounds innocuous and helpful, but once an entire department started going, "Should we change our procedures? Why don't you change that on the form*?" I realized how much hot water I was getting myself into and said "never mind, please send to the address that doesn't actually WANT IT." I am just lucky none of them decided to email my supervisor and ask or else I'd be having another one of those meetings with Grandboss once she gets out of (in person) jury duty.
* Answer: Jurisdiction Friction is why the hell not, which would turn into a giant debate between my boss and the other department we split this stuff with as to whether or not to Change The Procedures or just say "email ABC to us and email XYC to them" and if that is just literally too hard for super educated people to understand, which it will be determined to be Too Hard for geniuses to get, and in the end, they won't change a thing.
Also, some special group asked for things they're not supposed to, and got them (sigh). I hate the special groups, a lot. And I redid an order for the THIRD TIME and then found out that the document I was working from missed two addresses.
This is how my life goes.
But hey, we have tomorrow off! A random day in the middle of the week! SLEEPING IN, BAYBEE. IN BED TILL NOON, BAYBEE. NO GETTING DRESSED TILL FIVE, BABYEE.
Kelly canceled the whole holiday show idea for health reasons. It figures. I'd like to still carry on with the idea even if Kelly's brain isn't into writing another new show at the moment (I would say the rest of us could do stuff? Or just see how she's feeling in another week or two?), but I know that won't work if I try it, so I'm not going to say anything. I don't know how the hell Claire actually gets people to DO THINGS but it sure doesn't work for me. Though in related Claire news, she said she was having to plan her own socially distant birthday party because nobody else will do it for her even though she wishes they would, sigh.
I don't like the idea of having no show to work on in December, y'all.
My county is still in the red tier....SOMEHOW....for now.... I wouldn't count on that lasting since we're at 6%. Meanwhile Sacramento went back to purple tier. The mayor literally said, "I cannot say clearly enough--for God's sake, stop gathering." YEAH, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT GONNA HAPPEN WHEN THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING. Because people are fucking idiots.
Therapy: had a relatively short one with my therapist because life isn't going well for her (well, her mom's still alive/more or less fine/going to the doctor again, but my therapist is getting a kidney stone removed next week). Also, she kicked a shopping cart and it slammed into a wall, rebounded, and hit her in the face. 2020, y'all.
So 20 minutes of that was the crazy gift drama and 25 of it was boy drama :P
Honestly, I'm feeling kinda about done here. Not because I want to quit, but I don't know what else to do and if he doesn't want to talk to me, there ain't nothing. She was telling me that as a person who sometimes just doesn't want to talk to people, it's okay to not want to talk to people and I shouldn't be taking it personally. To which I was all, "Look, even if I don't want to talk to people" (i.e. Gift Drama people, who I really don't want to fucking talk to right now at all), "I still talk to them." She said if I feel comfortable not talking to him, then do it, and I said I don't--I definitely wanted to talk to him this week--but if he's just going to ignore it and I'm just going to get mad, then no. And if he doesn't want to hear from me, I want to do what's best for him. If he wants me gone, I'm gone.
She also told me that one of her best friends left her a message of, "If you don't call me back within 24 hours, we are done forever." My therapist called back right away and said she was still alive, just had nothing good to say. I said how the hell are you supposed to know when someone wants you gone vs. just is off sulking or whatever, and she said "Because when I did see them, it was clear that I still cared about them."
"He wouldn't say "good to see you" if he didn't mean it," she said.
It doesn't help you to take it personally--and I know, it probably isn't, but it bugs me that I'm not special enough to still get responded to. You're choosing to take it personally. You can choose any number of stories and rewrite it differently. She said I could just ask him if he wants me to stop contacting him, though I dunno if I'd get up the nerve for that.
Rehearsal: much better tonight, thank god. Head costume designer Cheyenne was in the house for the first hour and we were allowed to open our costumes and put them on, go through the runthrough of "don't get 'em dirty, hang 'em up, etc." and they have a checklist they will go through on us every about the costumes.
My outfit is a yellow tie-on dress (huzzah, no need to worry about fitting), a white apron with a big ol' pocket, brown shoes (kinda big but I don't have to walk more than 1 step at any point), and a giant red purse. The checklist said a hat--I asked and they said there were issues with that--so I volunteered a hat of my own. I have the apron on in act 1 and change out of the apron and get a purse and hat to go to the fair. Hair will be in a bun. Very farm wife, no Lady Gaga here. The only issue I have with it is that now that the Cold Snap has happened, it's sufficiently cold enough in my apartment that wearing a summer dress is not too fun. I ended up putting my bathrobe on for most of it.
That was the first hour, then it was a half hour of...I dunno, screen setup, then two hours of more blocking and a half hour of attempting to run act 2. THANK GOD THIS TIME THE BLOCKING TALK WAS SITTING DOWN. Much better. On the other hand, Kearsten hasn't figured out all of the things yet, like how to pass stuff to each other and whatnot, so.... She says it's hard to figure out what's going on with the technology and us moving at the same time. I feel sufficiently vague enough to Be Concerned here that there's only two more days of rehearsal left....
Quotes and notes:
"I have a question." -Tom "I have an answer." -Cheyenne.
"Did the pig move?" -Karen
Quotes from Kearsten:
"I hear there are some people in the house that might be willing to throw water on you." -to Karen and Tom.