Chaos Attraction

The Worst Best Thing

2020-11-18, 9:44 p.m.

This morning, I got an email from someone saying they were going to put a reading on on Thanksgiving Day of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. St. Genesius, I put in a request to find me another play as of Monday and you are already delivering. THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! You rock, sir.

Work: in today's morning meeting, Lioness was clearly about to cry because people have been eviscerating her over the phone and email lately. She read aloud a snitty letter from a big shot complaining about how hard his life is (basically he said "Your office needs to stop telling people I hand out X." Except a lot of big shots actually do, so....that's why we say "ask your big shot, or your department.") She pointed out that her own life is very hard right now, so.... I said that yeah, I've been getting eviscerated over email myself this week--same old shit, "I didn't get my Important Document" and getting mad about various things, I can't even remember them all any more. Lioness said it's because I'm empathetic and I take this stuff personally and I said that it's one thing if they're just yelling, but I've had someone get vindictive and we have people threatening to sue us again and once they want to go after me, that's where I have a problem with that. Grandboss was all "that action comes from people you know" (CERTAINLY TRUE) and if they REALLY want to go after someone, they go after someone in a position of authority. Well, perhaps. She also said that "we live in a microwave world: why isn't it done yet, we need a minute!"

In other news, Lioness is leaving the state to go see her mom for Thanksgiving. Grandboss, of course, has already run off to see her family again. She is all hyped for Thanksgiving and keeps bringing it up in meetings (as if we could forget it's coming! Just watch the news! She kinda genuinely seems to think we'd forget?) and she was making comments about those of us who are going to be alone "eating tuna fish" for Thanksgiving. Well, that IS me, I said, and it's going to suck, so no, I'm not super psyched for Thanksgiving this year. She said if I was in Washington she'd have a great place to recommend that I get a fancy singles dinner, but...y'know, I'm not there.

Uh-huh. That was weird.

Other than that, I spent the day dealing with Important Document Drama, though I did get one email from international clientele that was nice and sweet.

I actually didn't have too many meetings today--just one work one and a meditation class--so I sneakily did a Zoom meeting (on my own laptop) to watch a discussion with the author of "We Ride Upon Sticks." She sounds really fun, actually, and showed all these photos of her growing up as a field hockey player in the 80's.

After work, I had signed up to attend a Story Studio open mic again. I haven't had anything story-worthy happen to me in recent months and frankly, I haven't been in the mood to tell for a few months, so I just said I'd be in the audience. Well, there weren't that many people this time in there and I gather most of them had just said they'd be audience, so Cyndi was asking if anyone would tell, and I said no. Then she suggested a topic: "The Worst Best Thing," i.e. something bad that happened to to you that turned out to be good and I was all "OH I HAVE ONE, but it's 10 minutes long" and these are supposed to be five. Under the circumstances, she gave me a pass.

Her story, for the record, was about her getting evicted from a basement apartment and then finding a cheaper, fancier, nicer place to move into--but she was still bitching about having to move. Then right after she moved out, a water pipe burst and flooded the place. I was all I RELATE.

My favorite story from others was the girl who started out with "My story is somewhat less wholesome than others...." She went to a Madonna-themed party and didn't know much about Madonna, so she dressed up as Madonna and child with her favorite stuffed penguin as the child, did mushrooms, and then a friend of hers had, well.... "they were really nice, for fake boobs you get from China," except he Superglued them to himself and could not get them off. While high on shrooms, she got the idea that the friend was transgender....well, turns out no once the party is over, the boobs are off and everyone's sober. Cyndi's response: "Terrible story, it was FABULOUS."

Cyndi said earlier on that "who we are and who we're supposed to be shows up in our struggles," (certainly true for me and theater) and feeling like this isn't where I belong might be getting you to where you're supposed to be. (Let's see if that ever plays out for work?)

So I ended up telling my story about the second Gumbo audition fail again, and it went over really well and Cyndi loved it. I wish I could have caught the exact words, but she said something like "you're so funny and charming about being all, I have no talent, while having talent," said I've always had talent, but it was about finding the right place. She said I'm a really good storyteller and like doing standup, I had a setup, a punchline, and "nice little jabs like a boxer."

Since we had a bit of free time before closing, she did "Stories are Everywhere," in which you pick an item and talk about (hah, like in Charlotte's Web recently). One guy told a story about doing this game, while having in his pocket a KANGAROO SCROTUM BAG from Australia. (Alas, he did not have it tonight.) Two people talked about their cats, and one guy just got a new one that they named Jolene because the other cat doesn't like her! After I did mine--the dollar store unicorn Redhead Sarah and I gave each other--Cyndi said that in the bar she worked in, there was a guy who'd bring in dinosaur toys to the bar, which she would provide shots to. "There are toys in my bar!"

That was a really sweet, nice session of that, I'm glad I did it. I wasn't intending to tell anything tonight because I've felt brain dead and like nothing really story-worthy has happened of late (well, not of the "tell it in 5 minutes and it's succinct" variety), but now it's reminding me of my old idea of doing stories based on the plays I've been in.

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