Chaos Attraction

When Names Follow You Around

2019-11-19, 9:25 p.m.

Today’s therapy call was me wanking on about feeling like chopped liver and her arguing that I’m not, except obviously I am, right? Duh, obviously.

Quote from the therapist: “You know what you want, you’re just taking your time because you realize moving faster won’t get you what you want.”

Even though yesterday was going how it was going, I continued to have synchros going off all day today. I had a meeting that I had totally forgotten about, and found the following:

(a) a chalk heart drawn on a plant holder thing I saw on the way to the meeting
(b) a guy had a heart shirt on in the meeting
(c) saw a heart shaped spot on the ground on the way out of the meeting
(d) I hit a bathroom in my old building on the way back and there was “Paris Amour” body lotion in there.

Even worse, shit was coming up while in the work meeting, for godsake.

There is a mildly hot guy in this particular set of meetings who appears to be single. Again, do I feel particularly attracted to him? Not really, but I found myself pondering “What if I dated that guy?” Then he caught me looking at him and I was all “Oh fuck, I’m not doing the long eye contact again, I am NOT GOING THERE AGAIN, that caused too much trouble last time!”

And then later in the meeting, someone brought up the idea of emails that fill in the client’s name, and she said, “like, Dear Scott.” I was all, you had to bring that name up “at random?” I smell fishiness, y’all. It’s one thing for me to see the name Scott everywhere because I deal with a lot of names, it’s used as a first and last name, and that’s just heavy coincidence, like finding Jennifers. But you brought that name up?

In the past, I would make jokes in my head that if I saw his last name (long and uncommon), that’d be where I’d freak out. Well, YouTube fished up a video last weekend or so of someone who’s a business speaker doing a TEDx talk with the same last name (not a relation, I asked) and I about choked there!


While we were rehearsing Carol of the Bells, William danced along like our own Solid Gold Dancer.

Me on the Bieber: “Because we want to drive the audience out at the beginning of the show.”
Clara is now supposed to bop along to Bieber.

“Did we just ignore that part about not eating in costume?” -Cameron

“It’s a very loud show.” -me

Me on the line about Young Clara realizing she has the same name as Mrs. A: “It must be cute to have the novelty of someone having the same name as you.”

Drew: “Who’s the Ghost of Christmas Past?” William jumped up and down, waving his hand.

Whenever the kids are out of the green room, it’s PHONE TIME.

No, William isn’t on coke.

Nobody has found an old fashioned flashlight, so Izzy is using her phone to read under the covers. Uh huh.

The kids are having dress rehearsal tonight (optional for adults, who have less costume changes) and the Pilgrims are taking forever. This wasn’t goo planning on the part of the playwright to make all the kids have to stand out there and then have to quick change for the pageant. Jayden in particular is having difficulty with his King James bloomer pants, and changing in general, and not wanting to go out without full outfit.

“You can go on without shoes tonight, but you’re about to lose your pants.”- Bridget
“I don’t care!” -Jayden, whose pants were on backwards and were falling off onstage accordingly after this line.
“This is about as authentic as a pageant gets.” -Robert.
“Could you move to one side or the other, so we can watch his pants?”- me asking Eliza to move out of the way of the green room monitor.
“This is not fun.” -Jayden
“Rehearsals are never fun.” -William
“I love it. It kinda has the makings of a fiasco. Backstage, onstage.” -Bridget

William has shaved his legs now. It was hard.

“Speak up, I can’t hear you.” (said to Shirley at one point)
“The only time anyone’s ever said that.”-me

“I wish I could be the turkey.” -kid

Trent’s apron appears to be a bleeding hot pink on the monitor. “They totally had eye bleeding hot pink aprons in 1935.” -me

“Are they still doing a song at intermission?” -me
(shrugs) “I just work here, man.” -Cameron, assistant director

“It looks a little worse than a mall Santa.” and “Santa should be a walking bush from the neck up.” -me trying to encourage someone going out and buying Robert a wig and a better beard

“Red hot mama Germaine....Germaine and I have a little romance.” -William

“Please be on time. Stop eating treats in the green room.” -Eliza

(on Mr. Hilton’s line asking the kids to hold it together)
“Then you can have a big screaming meltdown.” -me

“I couldn’t make the KKK hoods.” -Germaine
“What did I walk into here?!” -Robert
(No, I don’t know what show required those.)
“But who has dunce caps any more? It’s not a thing.” -me on the suggestion given regarding the hoods
“It says Ku Klux Klan and angel costumes, because they’re interchangeable.” -Dona

“We need to help Santa get fat.” -Dona
“How can you lose a belly?” -Dona

“I’m the biggest kid here.” -William

“My kingdom for another pin.” -Dona

“I watched the impregnation scene.” -me

“Who braided your hair?” -Germaine
“Rachel did.” -kid
“She never does my hair.” -William

“We’re looking for the baby Jesus....” -Wise Man 1
“No, I said that.” -Wise Man 2
“No, I said that.” -Wise Man 3
“Every time I look away, I miss the funny stuff.” -William

William fake stole a can from the Thanksgiving stash we’re not supposed to touch.

“Dona and I are going on the road as a comedy duo.” -William

“My chin is a bit prominent.” -Scott
“Jay Leno?” -William

“I need a bow and arrow.” Abner
“Yes, that won’t cause any problems at all.” me
“You’re a peaceful Indian.” Bridget.

As for how I’m feeling about Scott today, I have decided that as per last time’s tech week, I’m going to mostly ignore him unless he talks to me, again. Let him be with her if that’s what he wants, I’m not going to try to horn myself in. This went slightly awry when I tripped and fell backstage, he went over to help me up and I wanted to say to get off me. Sigh. I’m so not nice.

He did eventually show up to karaoke, thankfully late enough to not be able to sit by me if he wanted to (hah, not that he does?). However, I mellowed a bit during the night watching him bop along to songs that I was also bopping along to (“Faith,” and “Shallow”). I wanted to be all, “see how alike we are?” but obviously did not. I did “Tonight I’m Getting Over You” before he arrived and “Stay” by Lisa Loeb when he was around. I ducked hugging him at the end of the night (he just yelled “bye, Jen!” as I fled) and then I immediately felt bad about it.

Sarah also told us a story about watching a lady pleasure herself with a giant black dildo she was previously spinning around while on a bus at 1 p.m. Between that and Scott’s “the Mission smells like piss” stories, good god, San Francisco. And people wonder why I don't love the place.

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