Chaos Attraction

Coney Island Christmas Day 3: Actual Baby Edition

2019-11-24, 8:06 p.m.

Before the matinee, I went to the yarn store somewhat in costume (full makeup but left off the hat/vest/bowtie, which left me looking like a tarty waiter) to get more yarn for the ski mask, which I ran out of two days ago. Sierra (everyone’s favorite cashier there) recognized that I was in the play with Scott and Cameron, which surprised me because it’s not like I’m in there all that often and I haven’t talked about being in the play when I was. That’s....odd, I kinda doubt they’d have been in there talking about me in it under the circumstances.

There was cotton candy backstage when we got there, and Cameron and I ate some more. “I don’t really care for it, but when life hands you a bag of sugar...” she said. Me too.

Dona was back. She had a lovely dinner last night but was rather pissed that people did not hang up their costumes, and went on about how the Elly (I guess this is the award group here?) judges may show up at any time and nitpick the ironing, and how Bev was there on opening night and she always nitpicks about the ironing... I can’t say I remember ever seeing this, but I doubt I catch all of her reviews. Mostly I just remember her nitpicking plot details because lord knows I heard from Scott and Dona about whatever details she got wrong. Which I did not argue about since obviously they’ve read the script more than me or Bev have.

Does Abner say “That’s ridiculallyus” deliberately or not? Does anyone know?
“Let’s not interfere with his process.” -me

“None of my siblings were as cute as me.” -Cameron

“I once found $20 in my winter coat when I put it on for the first time that season, and it was the greatest day ever.” -Cameron
(Note: I told this story to a coworker the next day and she was all, “Oh, another coworker of ours did that while thrift store shopping, so now she goes through all the pockets at stores.” I said “well, that’s a hobby.”)

“I’m not good at big words.” -Bianca

“I was bored, it was like 3 in the morning.” -kid

“Both of you and your symbiosis, when I mean chemistry.” -Gail to guess who and guess who. I feel like I should deserve an Elly award for not reacting to things.

“I know nothing. Literally, I am a void.” Cameron

Someone told William to give the following answer to Dona when she asked how the show went last night: “Tell her we did horrible and everything fell apart!”

“You are doing an amazing job.” -Anita

Regarding last night’s Abner incident:
“When you bring out the star, Abner, you’re supposed to be hiding.” -Anita
“It’s not that I could fake not seeing him.” -Scott
“Dot it wrong, ok?” -Anita

“Who says theater’s not a full contact sport?” -Robert

After we do the group hand squeezing and screaming, Bridget declared that I have the loudest voice. That’s saying something here.

“Food is good. Bribery is awesome.” -me on Jesse bringing Dona pie.

“My grandma’s laugh is very distinct.” -Scott

The kids are playing Mafia, whatever the heck that is. It does seem to involve the word “storyteller,” though.

“And there’s a little chemistry between Bianca and Kenneth.” -Dona
“Cast them in something.” -Robert
“They’re just gooey eyed.” -Dona

(Seriously, I have had enough of that subject matter even if it’s others right now. I am generally glad that he and I have ah...kept whatever vibe we have had off and on on the down low because if nothing’s going to happen I’d rather it not hit the rumor mill, and I assume he feels the same given his preference in ladies. But at times I kind of wish we were of the "everyone can see it" ilk like everyone else is doing...but no. I am a practical person and if nothing's going to happen, I'd rather nobody know about it. It's bad enough that one person figured it out as is, not that I've talked to him about it and I don't think he'd say anything.)

Me on the improv scene: “He doesn’t know much about France, does he?”

The fashion tape gets lost and I find it. “I’m just proud I found something for a change.”

It’s Jayden’s birthday! He gets to be the birthday king, at least.

“That’s a suspicious Freddy Krueger sweater.” -William and I find one on the table.

On Shirley’s line “what does it all mean?” as Trent sings his little song about Beltz: “Oh, y’know, stuff.” -me

“Abner can do just about anything. He’s so little.” -Dona

As Alexis is getting a drink:
“Doesn’t the Jesus Christ (line) come up soon?” -Bridget
“She has to have the volume to scream that.” -me

I see one kid peeking up the angel costume skirt. “That’s very dirty, you guys.”

“Actually Germaine and I have the most free time in this play.” -William

I tell William the story about how my uncle told my mother that dogs know when you’re on your period and that’s why they sniff your crotch, a line that scarred her for life. “First of all: weird, not true, also gross.”

William on Abner last night: “Germaine tried to grab his hand for the blanket and he was scratching his butt.”

“I don’t like how this conversation is going.” -kid
“Jiggles!” -Kenneth

Robert’s lyrics folder disappeared around the same time the kids went out with their folders to sing. “Now we can watch to see who’s got the wrong lines.” -me. Sadly, his never turned up.

Scott conducts the choir, despite not actually being in the room with them. Once in choir, always in choir.

As Bridget, Robert and I get slightly hushed backstage while rehearsing: “You guys are much better listeners than the kids.” -William

“I can’t gain weight, I have to fit into my dress. I never thought I’d say that.” -Willam

“You’ve got nice legs.” -Germaine to William.

“She’s not happy.” -Germaine as baby Lena cries backstage.
“She’s realized she’s in an amateur theatrical production.” -Cameron

“Oh, it’s you. I thought you were a girl.” -Jesse to William.

Me watching Kenneth fall down and fake breaking his leg yet again: “I’m surprised he’s not all bruised up.”

“We may have baby Jesus for real today....” Yes, that happened, baby Lena was wrapped up in swaddling clothes and in the pageant with her sister as her mother. Somehow she slept through all of the lines and singing and people. The audience oohed. It was Anita’s lifelong dream, according to the email the next morning.

“Do you think that the reindeer are on the naughty list?” -me on the line “the reindeer ran away with my sleigh.”

“Maybe that’s how he walks in the snow.” -a mom on Robert’s high steps.

“You’re a good pretend mom!” -a kid to Josie

We were told to stick around longer to clean up the tables, so I did that instead of the hallway thing. I still booked out early and realized that it was still like, 4:25 or whatever and thought, “oh hey, I could make it to the library before 5 and see if I can get a copy of The Miracle Worker*”, so I did that.

* note: one of the shows they are doing in the winter, and from what I’ve read/researched, I definitely will not be auditioning for that one. Too hard! Later I watched the movie and wasn’t that impressed with how it was done, even though I love sign language and will definitely go see the show at least. Old movies can be hard to watch.

However, when I got out of the library, I checked my phone and Robert had texted saying that everybody was going out for Chinese food, did I want to go? Awkward...I figured that by the time I got there they’d be done so what was the point (sigh) and then went home, and then he texted back saying they hadn’t even ordered yet. So I told him what to get me, quickly changed out of my costume and headed on back there. I arrived just in time for the food. It was Scott and Cameron and Alexis, Anita and Robert and I.

Discussion topics included:
(a) Work and how well, work sucks and Anita is looking forward to two weeks in Hawaii. TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!...okay, I didn’t say that out loud.
(b) The Criterion Collection being on sale, which was pretty much Robert and Scott.
(c) Highlander, which was pretty much Scott and I.
(d) What everyone’s Chinese zodiac sign/animal was. Oh dear lord, I didn’t want to admit to that one because that definitely means Scott can now figure out my exact, actual age. A while back after Laurel’s mom’s funeral, she asked me when I moved here and I didn’t want to answer that one but kinda had to, and I figured that he probably was all, “she’s not from here, her mom still lives in the hometown, she probably moved here for college...she’s probably around 40” after that (sigh). But having to say what animal I am pretty much pegs me as 41 or 29, and he knows enough to know it ain’t 29. I stuffed my face with potsticker in hopes of avoiding answering, but I got asked straight up. Sigh. And yeah, he heard that because he whinnied at me, followed by conversation about not being able to make sound effects for Alexis’s (rabbit). Dammit.
(e) How everyone got the theater bug. Most started early or very early, whereas I...well, I wanted onstage but nobody wanted me there. Sigh. That was kind of depressing to have to answer too. Admittedly the old hometowne didn’t do much in the way of theater for kids when I was growing up and they weren’t exactly letting everyone in during high school, but still. Blech.

Anyway, other than that stuff, it was a good time and we agreed to do it again next week after the matinee, since going out after a night show limits your options.

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