Coney Island Christmas Night 5: A Nice Quiet Game In Which They Kill Each Other
2019-11-30, 11:20 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
I went to a craft fair, didn’t buy anything, did a bit more shopping and did not much of that either, went home before it started raining and then had to figure out how to use the new apps to pay to get your laundry done. It’s a great system...if the WiFi works in the laundry room. Which mostly, it does not. I also attempted to clean my bedroom and only got a fraction of one corner done and was already exhausted.
That was the day.
Oh yeah, and the guy that turned up in the ad on Thanksgiving? Turned up AGAIN this morning in a website I left up last night, like 4 times. This is crazy.
It was pouring rain tonight, but we got 30 people...which is better than the 4 that we heard were coming the previous night. I seriously brought extra flashlights in case there was a blackout, but there was not.
“Did you make your mom breakfast?” -Arlo
“Child abuse! Please sit on me!” -Abner to Kenneth.
Arlo’s mom told me he does a lot of woodworking. Wow, at his age? (I’m guessing around 8 or 9ish.)
“Everyone crawls on the floor and grabs some people’s legs.” -Kenneth
Anita starts counting kids. Me: “Let’s not be like Home Alone. Make sure you got them all.”
As Anita compliments us and is about to say something else:
“I was distracted by his string bean like body.” -Bianca
“Okay, I’m gonna neck you. I’m necking you.” -Jayden to Kenneth
“Yeah, stop being distracted by me, Bianca, that’s what Anita was talking about.” -Kenneth
Gail continues to ask Scott and Cameron all about their chemistry. I can’t even. This would be weird even if real life issues weren't lurking in my brain at this point. She's such a shipper.
“Do you even know what common sense is?” -Jayden to Abner
“Step on MY foot.” -Abner
(“All I Want For Christmas Is You” plays in the audience before the show starts.)
“We make gaga eyes at each other.” -Scott
“I slept today.” -Dona, after announcing that she didn’t for two days.
After Dona says that tomorrow is her and Jesse’s 29th anniversary: “I was 22 when I got married the first time.”
The kids continue to play Mafia every night.
William was late tonight and we debated who’d fill in for him if he didn’t make it. “I guess I’ll be filling in as the bearded lady tonight,” said Robert. “They have a lot of fake beards around here,” said Bridget.
“I do weird things with my hands.” -Scott
“How’s the house tonight?” -Robert
(Dona joins Mafia)
“Mafia is so much fun, I could die any second now.” -Jayden
I think Jayden said this: “Abner has the most famous line! I wanna die!”
“It’s a rainy day crowd.” -Anita
“Break legs, everybody!” Alexis says. Josie and Izzy immediately fall down and yell, “My legs! My legs!”
Anita said during the cast speech that she wants us to change people’s lives tonight. I’m thinking, that’s too much pressure!
“We live in a state of creative flux.” -Cameron
Josie as Mary was supposedly sassy last night, but I can’t say I noticed. I get somewhat distracted during the third act at times (“oh, wait, I’m on?”)
“And I’m tired of using the doll.” -Anita
“You’re going to be in trouble when you get home.” -Wiliam after Abner’s hat briefly goes missing.
“We not only believe in dual casting, but triple casting.” -Germaine as she introduces Vanessa and her three parts.
“I’m not in it that much, but it’s a fun show, you’d like it.” -William
“When you see a play like this, you think, if they can do it, I can do it.” -William
Backstage, Jayden dances to Bieber.
“Yes, I would like to speak to Stephen Hawking.”
“I heard a couple people say, is he already a teacher?” -Germaine to Scott
“My best friend I do occasionally kill....” -Cameron
(After the line “stop yelling in the street already!”)
Scott is really getting into the radio bits backstage.
Gail flubs a line: “Henry Brown is from Mexico?”
“Get to the turkey already!” -William
“There’s a Christmas decoration in front of the map.” -Eliza
Kenneth lets Abner shove his head into his stomach and knock him to the floor. ????
Abner starts swinging a belt around, nearly missing Josie’s face, and has to be told to stop it. Josie chases him down for the belt.
William mentions a guy who would go to Taco Bell in full vampire makeup.
Josie mouths the “a shanda for the goyim” line when she comes back into the green room.
Me watching Mrs. Kornblum:
“I’ll give you fifty cents if you hold hands with Abner.” -Jayden to Rachel
“There’s a few key laughers.” -Anita on the audience at intermission.
“Is Abner dead again? Why is he always dead?” -me
“November’s over, time to get rid of the beard.” -Drew
Scott joins in while Robert, Bridget and I are rehearsing “Carol of the Bells” and it immediately sounds 100% better.
The audience laughed at the “extraordinary woman” line.
Backstage, discussing “there are no small parts, only small actors” with Dona and William: “I’m a small actor AND a small part!” -me
We’re filming tomorrow, try not to suck! -me and William who don’t have much to mess up.
“You guys were so good! I wish I could sing.” -Dona
“Santa looks more like he has a colostomy bag.” -Robert
“Excuse me, sir.” -William
Scott and Cameron return from the kiss scene, both covered in lipstick all over their teeth. “That’s the best kissing I’ve ever seen, right on the TEETH.” -Jayden
The romance, y’all, the swooning :p
“There is nothing wrong with playing a love interest, but I have done a lot of those in the last year.” -Cameron
“I love you, Mrs. Kornblum, she just doesn’t understand.” -Cameron
“I dropped a hanger!” (onstage) -Eliza
“They’ve been together nearly 40 years.” -Scott on his parents.
“How do I get out of this thing?” -Robert on his costume
On the way home, one of my tires is apparently very low, which makes me suspect my crazy neighbor stuck a nail in there this afternoon or something because it was fine before. However, it was pouring rain and I could not exactly check, but the tire was hissing when I got out of the car at home. SIGH. Goddammit.