Chaos Attraction

Coney Island Christmas Night 5: A Nice Quiet Game In Which They Kill Each Other

2019-11-30, 11:20 p.m.

I went to a craft fair, didn’t buy anything, did a bit more shopping and did not much of that either, went home before it started raining and then had to figure out how to use the new apps to pay to get your laundry done. It’s a great system...if the WiFi works in the laundry room. Which mostly, it does not. I also attempted to clean my bedroom and only got a fraction of one corner done and was already exhausted.

That was the day.

Oh yeah, and the guy that turned up in the ad on Thanksgiving? Turned up AGAIN this morning in a website I left up last night, like 4 times. This is crazy.

Night 5:

It was pouring rain tonight, but we got 30 people...which is better than the 4 that we heard were coming the previous night. I seriously brought extra flashlights in case there was a blackout, but there was not.

“Did you make your mom breakfast?” -Arlo
“No, she’s in Wisconsin, by the time I got there it’d be cold.” -Drew
“Excuses, excuses.” -me

“Child abuse! Please sit on me!” -Abner to Kenneth.

Arlo’s mom told me he does a lot of woodworking. Wow, at his age? (I’m guessing around 8 or 9ish.)

“Everyone crawls on the floor and grabs some people’s legs.” -Kenneth

Anita starts counting kids. Me: “Let’s not be like Home Alone. Make sure you got them all.”

As Anita compliments us and is about to say something else:
“Here comes the bit.” -Gail
“I can’t win with this one, can I?” -Anita

“I was distracted by his string bean like body.” -Bianca
“Rude.” -Kenneth

“Okay, I’m gonna neck you. I’m necking you.” -Jayden to Kenneth
“I’m being abused.” -Kenneth
“He’s hunting me for fun. He’s a future serial killer.” -Kenneth

“Yeah, stop being distracted by me, Bianca, that’s what Anita was talking about.” -Kenneth

Gail continues to ask Scott and Cameron all about their chemistry. I can’t even. This would be weird even if real life issues weren't lurking in my brain at this point. She's such a shipper.

“Do you even know what common sense is?” -Jayden to Abner

“Step on MY foot.” -Abner
“Abner, I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to step on it!” -Jayden
“Why do you wanna get hurt?” -Jayden
“Jump on it, jump on it, jump on it!” -Abner

(“All I Want For Christmas Is You” plays in the audience before the show starts.)
“Why can’t they play that instead of Bieber?” -me
“I KNOW! It’s so bad! I have to dance to it and it’s not a danceable song!” -Amelia

“We make gaga eyes at each other.” -Scott

“I slept today.” -Dona, after announcing that she didn’t for two days.

After Dona says that tomorrow is her and Jesse’s 29th anniversary: “I was 22 when I got married the first time.”
“Nuff said?” -me

The kids continue to play Mafia every night.
“Well, it’s at least a nice quiet game in which they kill each other.” -me
“Somebody said there was a terrible murder last night, I didn’t realize it was a game.” -Germaine

William was late tonight and we debated who’d fill in for him if he didn’t make it. “I guess I’ll be filling in as the bearded lady tonight,” said Robert. “They have a lot of fake beards around here,” said Bridget.

“I do weird things with my hands.” -Scott

“How’s the house tonight?” -Robert
“That’s about it.” -Jesse
Scott: “At least they outnumber the cast.”

(Dona joins Mafia)
“Dona, are you the murderer?” -Drew
“I was in the dinner theater play, but not tonight.” -Dona

“Mafia is so much fun, I could die any second now.” -Jayden

I think Jayden said this: “Abner has the most famous line! I wanna die!”

“It’s a rainy day crowd.” -Anita

“Break legs, everybody!” Alexis says. Josie and Izzy immediately fall down and yell, “My legs! My legs!”

Anita said during the cast speech that she wants us to change people’s lives tonight. I’m thinking, that’s too much pressure!

(William enters)
“We thought the aliens had come to take you back.” -Cameron

“We live in a state of creative flux.” -Cameron

Josie as Mary was supposedly sassy last night, but I can’t say I noticed. I get somewhat distracted during the third act at times (“oh, wait, I’m on?”)

“And I’m tired of using the doll.” -Anita

“You’re going to be in trouble when you get home.” -Wiliam after Abner’s hat briefly goes missing.

“We not only believe in dual casting, but triple casting.” -Germaine as she introduces Vanessa and her three parts.

“I’m not in it that much, but it’s a fun show, you’d like it.” -William

“When you see a play like this, you think, if they can do it, I can do it.” -William

Backstage, Jayden dances to Bieber.

“Yes, I would like to speak to Stephen Hawking.”
“This IS Stephen Hawking.” -Scott, doing two robotic voices.

“I heard a couple people say, is he already a teacher?” -Germaine to Scott

“My best friend I do occasionally kill....” -Cameron

(After the line “stop yelling in the street already!”)
“Join the crowd, everyone else is doing it.” -me

Scott is really getting into the radio bits backstage.

Gail flubs a line: “Henry Brown is from Mexico?”

“Get to the turkey already!” -William

“There’s a Christmas decoration in front of the map.” -Eliza
“So much for geography.” -Dona
(Scott moves it.)

Kenneth lets Abner shove his head into his stomach and knock him to the floor. ????

Abner starts swinging a belt around, nearly missing Josie’s face, and has to be told to stop it. Josie chases him down for the belt.

William mentions a guy who would go to Taco Bell in full vampire makeup.

Josie mouths the “a shanda for the goyim” line when she comes back into the green room.

Me watching Mrs. Kornblum:
“Lady, if you don’t like fish, don’t buy fish. It’s not that hard.” -me
“You can buy pickles instead.” -Jackelyn

“I’ll give you fifty cents if you hold hands with Abner.” -Jayden to Rachel

“There’s a few key laughers.” -Anita on the audience at intermission.
“My father is one of them.” -Scott, who seems to be into distinctive laughs. “My dad’s belly laugh. That’s where I get it from. I’ve never had a problem projecting.”

“Is Abner dead again? Why is he always dead?” -me

“November’s over, time to get rid of the beard.” -Drew

Scott joins in while Robert, Bridget and I are rehearsing “Carol of the Bells” and it immediately sounds 100% better.

The audience laughed at the “extraordinary woman” line.

Backstage, discussing “there are no small parts, only small actors” with Dona and William: “I’m a small actor AND a small part!” -me

We’re filming tomorrow, try not to suck! -me and William who don’t have much to mess up.

“You guys were so good! I wish I could sing.” -Dona
“Me too.” -me

“Santa looks more like he has a colostomy bag.” -Robert

“Excuse me, sir.” -William
“Pardon me, madam.” -Jesse continues to mistake William for a lady

Scott and Cameron return from the kiss scene, both covered in lipstick all over their teeth. “That’s the best kissing I’ve ever seen, right on the TEETH.” -Jayden
(Scott mentions that he moves sometimes and that causes problems.)
“You scared of her?” -William
“Moving target is hard.” -Scott
“Many are terrified of me.” -Cameron

The romance, y’all, the swooning :p

“There is nothing wrong with playing a love interest, but I have done a lot of those in the last year.” -Cameron
Dona says it’s because she’s young and good looking.
I say something like, could be worse, you could look like me and get That 70’s Scott as your husband.
She then said that if that ever happens to her, and she has to kiss him, she will have kissed all Scotts in the theater company and filled out her bingo card.

“I love you, Mrs. Kornblum, she just doesn’t understand.” -Cameron

“I dropped a hanger!” (onstage) -Eliza

“They’ve been together nearly 40 years.” -Scott on his parents.
“Showoffs.” -William

“How do I get out of this thing?” -Robert on his costume

On the way home, one of my tires is apparently very low, which makes me suspect my crazy neighbor stuck a nail in there this afternoon or something because it was fine before. However, it was pouring rain and I could not exactly check, but the tire was hissing when I got out of the car at home. SIGH. Goddammit.

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