Chaos Attraction

The Best We Can Do Is Just Terrible

2020-11-30, 10:28 p.m.

recently on Chaos Attraction
Charge the Bear - 2020-12-05
The Office Not A Party - 2020-12-04
Pick A Card Future - 2020-12-03
Plague Times Meme List - 2020-12-02
No More Smiling Beautiful Face - 2020-12-01


Cast list as of November 2019

Today at work:

Meeting #1 was to say goodbye to one of our temporary coworkers, as she was ah, unexpectedly moved into another office with pretty much no notice and no clue as to what she's being hired to do, other than it's a COVID response team. Direct quote from her: "We're building the plane as we fly." I never got to know her very well, but uh....good luck with that.

Meeting #2 was a meet 'n greet with another office. I think we all deeply enjoyed talking to the new girl, who said the following:
* She prefers helping over email because you can get done with a lot more people as opposed to having to waste 10 minutes on the phone with one person. HEAR, HEAR.
* "My personal phone number has been put on a bathroom wall." She has "a whole tutorial how to get to me."
* "Thank you for the insanity emails, we get the email."
* Like us, she gets a lot of heinous rants about "why aren't you doing your job, I shouldn't have to do any work, I pay an enormous amount of money," and complaining to the CEO. God, I just love service and helping SO MUCH.
* "They were notified ten times of what to do. I'm sympathetic to a point."
* She mentioned someone complaining that they are becoming a scientist, and she's all, "You're talking to a scientist, you should be able to upload a document."
* Their office stopped charging for late fees because of fires and "why should 2020 be worse?"
* "Insurance is not boring."

Then we went into what we did over the weekend and Penguin Girl got up to some cooking and shopping:

* On making macarons: "Apparently they're very difficult to make and I was all, whatever." Later: "All of that work for 2 dozen cookies, I was so mad."
* "I think I will not buy shoes for awhile."
* She has some $1000 pair of shoes....not sure how she got these, but "They're still sitting by my bed, I'm letting them marinate."
* She wants a Porsche but has Honda/Toyota money. "I didn't feel right on spending that much money and it wasn't a Porsche." Someone else asked, "Would you have Porsche money if you didn't buy so many shoes?" "No...."

In the afternoon, well..... Remember how my giant org was being forced to close for two weeks? NEVER BLOODY MIND! WE CAN GO BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL, WORKING DURING THE HOLIDAYS! HUZZAH!....oh, wait, no. I really hate how our office insists on being partially open, because once AGAIN we had to revisit the "who's working and who isn't during the holidays?" thing AGAIN. Oh, and we have 24 hours to decide this time! Literally, that's it.
At this point I was all, fuck this, I'm refusing to work, I AM TAKING MY WHOLE TWO WEEKS, DAMMIT. However, my teammates are pissed as hell over the whole thing. Both of them haven't been working here long enough to be able to use 6 days of vacation time, but have a few hours to a few days worth saved up. I gather they were both planning on saving their vacation time and just wanted to go unpaid, but they found out that either they work or they use up the vacation time and THEN go unpaid, unpaid period is not an option.
I suggested that they work three days and take off three days, but nobody responded to that one.

Hope in particular was pissed because her previous giant org, which is (somewhat) in the same system as this one, didn't pull any of this crap. I haven't asked her directly, because I know it took MONTHS OF WORK to get her hired here so she must have really wanted to go here and/or leave her previous org, but I seriously suspect she regrets switching jobs because here is such a trainwreck all the time. She doesn't talk about her old job much other than the good aspects of it once in a while, but I really wonder sometimes: Was it awful there? Was she just bored? Is she totally regretting it? It's not my business if she doesn't choose to share and I don't think I'd feel comfortable directly asking, but you gotta wonder.

I had lunch with Eva again and after mentioning work stuff, she said something I wrote down immediately, "The best we can do is just terrible." I said that summed up my work and she was all "I want to be a sticky note on your computer." Will do!

My mom texted me today, asking how does she get these "Cyber Monday" deals? I said, "I dunno, I get them ALL OVER MY EMAIL." Like seriously I am deleting any "Cyber Monday" or "Giving Tuesday" emails now because it is all too much. (And yet, did I get any "Black Friday" "deals?" on any of my shopping in the last week? Not a bloody one. Teeny-tiny discounts on the Hawaii merch if I spent enough, couldn't get a deal on my phone, no deals on Amazon, nuffin.' Good thing I don't care.)

Tonight's Hallmark:

A Timeless Christmas:

* Charles Whitley is an inventor in 1903 who buys a funny clock with an inscription about finding true love during a Christmas moon. He fixes it, and goes poof. Next thing you know, he's....somehow in 2020, where a tour group is going through the house and various actors are impersonating his staff and fiancee. Naturally, poor Mr. Whitley is quite disturbed, though the actors are totally trying to roll with it. Of course, someone is all, "Can I get a selfie?" I hate humanity but uh...yeah. "Our last Charles Whitley quit," so they assume he's just a really good lookalike.
* So this is totally the Hallmark version of Kate and Leopold, right? Just saying.
* "What year do you think it is?" "Certainly not 1903." I was waiting to see if they'd say "2020" or not under current shitty circumstances. Good job avoiding that.
* "I wrote my PhD dissertation on him," Megan the museum director said. She's descended from his sassy maid, Rosie. "Of course I know how this sounds, that doesn't mean that it isn't the truth."
* Charles on H.G. Wells: "He's a wonderful writer, but has terrible table manners."
* Charles coolly goes off with the sheriff, but tells Megan to look for a hidden compartment for proof. Yup, he's got hidden inventing notebooks. Megan proves it's him because he has a scar on his hand that he wouldn't let be painted. They BS the sheriff and then she takes him for pizza. Poor Charles: his money would literally be no good here. He's also quite disturbed to hear that all of his assets are gone since he disappeared while single with no will. He has to get back home!
* Anyway, Megan gets him to impersonate...himself...for the 20th century money. He doesn't get into it until he starts giving her shit (and she does it right back) like he did his original maid. "You are the best Charles Whitley I ever met."
* " Eliza wasn't the sort to enjoy even a well-intentioned ribbing." I concur with Original Rosie that they weren't a match.
* "We mostly use it to argue with strangers and send pictures of cats." -Megan explains the Internet.
* I get why Megan was into him: she's impressed by his life story since age 14. Charles wants to figure out how to get back to the past (via that "Christmas clock," which no one can find in 20??), Megan wants him to stick around.
* Charles found out that his fiancee married his worst enemy and had a long, happy married life. Hooooo boy.
* AND THEN MEGAN FINDS THE CHRISTMAS CLOCK AT HER JOB INTERVIEW. The lady has read the inscription about winding the clock and finding true love. "I've wound that clock every week for years. NOTHING." Well, clearly YOU WEREN'T DOING IT AT THE CHRISTMAS MOON.
* This movie has a requisite New Job Offer, but she quietly turned it down offstage. This is the least agita I've ever seen about a job offer on Hallmark. It's like it's just in here enough to tick off the bingo square and that's it. Clearly Megan's having a blast playing Living History at her own museum anyway, why the hell would she need a teaching job?
* Likewise, Charles has quietly elected to stay and get Megan a necklace instead. He's resolved to be fine about his fiancee and it's not fair to ruin her happiness. Good job, dude. Also, he and Megan kiss. Huzzah! I like this one, it's been very fun to watch. And whatever Ryan Paevey does with his voice, it's really hot. (I admit between the voice and the stubble and the liking of suits, he's reminding me a bit of...oh, no comment.)

Tonight I watched "Zoom For The Holidays," plays by local playwrights from City Theatre in Sacramento. I sadly cannot recommend it, as I didn't like very much of it. Great concept of timeliness, terrible execution.

* Baking Christmas: Grandma wants to put on a play with the grandchildren. Sounds like my kind of grandma. "No pooping, no farting, no throwing up!" It's very obsessed with gingerbread and poop. Oh, kids.
* Fears for the Future: Tiny monologue about well, guess what.
* Meeting of My Minds: I think this one's based on Inside Out. I don't love Inside Out, so.... not my thing.
* Hanukkah: Where's MY Charlie Brown Hanukkah Special? Good point.
* Zoom Christmas Wedding: Sadly, her mute was on and nobody seems to have been able to tell her but the chat channel on YouTube...which was not enough. I am guessing it was another very short monologue and she flashed a ring, that's all I know.
* Uphill Both Ways: Dude talks to his younger self (a simpler version of "Meeting Of My Minds," I guess) "I guess you've had a shitty year?" "You have NO IDEA." Discussing the joys of all family meetings on Zoom. "From here, it looks like we never got past the hard part." Younger Joe also snarks about the whole "uphill, both ways, in the snow, life was harder" stuff I used to hear from my dad. "Nothing lasts forever, man, not even this shit. We're living proof."
* Lost Time: I took all the times I could have dropped by for granted, the guy says. This year I won't be able to drop by. I hear ya. I enjoy this rant very much. It's everyone's rants about this year. "Later is a gamble." "All the comfort of eye contact and proximity...." Yeah. My favorite so far.
* Zoom Christmas Dinner: Let's not spread negativity this year, a girl says.
* The Season For Pretending: Everyone decks the halls. Then Dad comes in, the masks come on, and everyone suddenly gets hostile. WTF? No thanks. Dad keeps bitching and bitching, Mom bitches back, random people show up online. People wear masks online for no reason and then bitch others out for doing same. "Better than nothing." "Is it really?" I was amused by the dad saying to the pastor, "I tend to sit in the virtual back pew." Me too, brah. Ugh, just did not enjoy this and it dragged on.
* Death Donuts: "Lester here cut all the donuts in half! Even the jelly donuts!" OMG WORK CRISIS!!!! "THIS DONUT IS MY LIFE! THIS COMPANY!" .... Dude, it's 2020, there are better priorities. He claims Lester "destroyed humanity" by doing this. My eyes have just rolled out the fucking door, man.
* Haunted Shelter at the Do Dump Inn: "I always thought she was fictional." "Aren't all people when you think about it?" Visiting a haunted inn. Another play that involves bitching about relatives, yaaaaaay. This reminds me of mentioning to Eva how if you use bad Zoom backgrounds on a computer that can't handle them, it works for playing ghosts. Exhibit A. "Grandma" also had herself on mute, but at least the actors could cue her in. Turns out it's all a bunch of ghosts, including the people who think they're real. They do this every year, the ghost innkeeper says. Well, that had a twist. "Everyone needs a place like the Do Dump Inn." Literally.
* New Year's Resolutions: This starts out with a girl admitting that she loves someone. That's about it. Another short one.
* Porthole Portal: Grandpa and granddaughter ah, break out their hand puppets. Then she announces she's pregnant by saying they can add another puppet character.
* Drama Teacher. Girl misses plays and her friends, asks if there's a hope of a real live in person play this fall... never mind, I can see the expression on your face. I hear ya.
* Ghostlight: Another Zoom ghost play (see above for what kind of effects are going on). Seems to be two pretentious actor ghosts, one claiming he can't pass on until he plays the role he was born to play. But what about with all the theaters closed?...I don't think there was an answer to that one.
* Ten 'Til Landing: This one's science fiction, with a "pod cluster." "Why wasn't I informed that one of our pod was a toaster with opinions?" Honestly, by this point, I'm so goddamned bored with these shows that I'm looking for Baby Yoda videos to watch on silent. I hate to be rude about this, but when most of the show has been annoying, boring, or both...SIGH. Anyway, they landed on Earth Prime, where the beaches are purple and everything's awesome.
* Beyond the Zoom: I'll note this was written by the director of the show. Hm, I hope it doesn't suck. Very short musings on little faces on a screen.
* New Place: Two ladies moving in and ordering pizza. Then they get annoyed at the noisy neighbors. "No wonder this place was available!" Clearly these two older ladies have like, never lived in an apartment. "Thank god for booze." This turns into a pizza party for everyone, which would be sweet if it wasn't really clear that this is during pandemic times and the pizza delivery girl keeps saying "six feet" and just wants to get out of there.

Anyway...not my favorite show ever, oh well. I did go make a Baby Yoda advent calendar while I was watching it after awhile, so there's that. That was far more entertaining.

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