Chaos Attraction

I HATE UPS

2003-12-04, 10:09 p.m.

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This day has been horrible. You wouldn't expect me to say that after I spent all day long sitting at home watching Bring It On, which is actually a good movie, but it was.

I got up at 8 a.m., after having written to my workmates that I wouldn't be in until my "emergency at home" had been taken care of. I figured if I got lucky it might all show up by lunch and I could still go in. Of course, given my odds with this, I didn't bother to get out of my pajamas today.

I sat there. I watched Some Kind Of Wonderful and mostly sat around annoyed that Eric Stoltz, while damned cute and pretty, would be so stupid as to blow his college fund on diamond earrings for a girl he hasn't even had a first date with yet, plus I got annoyed that he'd decide he just didn't want to go to college. If I were his dad, I would have beaten his ass. And really, Watts, wearing another girl's earrings, bought for another girl? Ugh. Just...ugh. It's the most expensive regift I've ever seen. So uh, I didn't like this movie the way I always thought I would. Then I moved on to Bring It On, which was much better and funnier and if anyone's got mp3's of the opening song I would give them smooches if they got them to me.

The one time I left the house was about 10:30 a.m., when I went to mail SKOW back. NOBODY was out there, the mail hadn't come, the UPS guy didn't come while I was out. I know this for a fact.

So by 3 p.m., I have heard nothing. I have spent the day diddling around and feeling frustrated and stupid and wasting a vacation day and ordering my own damn Christmas present "from Mom" online because she couldn't figure out how to make an order and my coupon code that was supposed to start TODAY for the Gap didn't work and generally I'm having other packaging frustration. Mom's been e-mailing me all day asking if it's come yet. I go to check UPS.com.

THEY ALREADY ATTEMPTED TO DELIVER THE PACKAGES. At 11:48 a.m. Second attempt for one, dreaded third attempt for the other.

I was home. I KNOW I was home. And I would have heard something if someone had been at the door. Hell, Heather was up by that point.

I go to the door. There is a note.

THE FUCKER CAME BY AND HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the point where I broke into hysterical screaming sobbing.

Oh, they're supposed to come by again on Friday, between 10:30 and 5. Oh yeah, I can just sit around all day tomorrow waiting for them to come by and NOT KNOCK AGAIN, when I'm supposed to be in training from 9 to noon that day.

I call Mom (since she'd been e-mailing), screaming and sobbing, and she gets on me to call UPS. I do, and wait around through 20 minutes of different automated systems, most of which are begging me to check and make all my arrangements on UPS.com.

Finally, I get to a person, to whom I cry that I was here the whole damn time and I never got my first notice for the third day thing and nobody knocked and I don't have a way to get to their place to get the package. She says that since there's one day left on package #2 (beads) she can mail it to somewhere else, and I tell her to mail it to Dave's, since he's coming tomorrow and someone's always at his house anyway. But for package #1, it's had its three days, and I will have to get to their center in West Sacramento between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. during the next five business days, or it gets returned to sender forever. Oh, and I'd better bring a photo ID for that.

This sounds pretty fucking impossible to me. I have to be at work doing training at least until next Friday, as far as I know there isn't a bus connection out there, and I don't think it's possible for Heather to take me after work when she always works afternoons and nights. At this point, I start getting hysterical again. She says, "Let me see what I can do."

After a few minutes, she tells me I lucked out: asshole UPS guy didn't bother to mark down the first delivery and while they know he did it 3 times, it can be officially fudged and she can mail that package to Dave's too. I gave her mucho appreciation and effusive compliments.

In a stunning moment of irony, I call Dave to tell him to expect packages tomorrow, and what do I find out? That the watch I bought for him online on Monday arrived at his house TODAY.

I am seething.

Sweet Jesus, I will never order anything online other than from Amazon.com ever again. Or at least I won't attempt to have it mailed to my house ever again- I'll have to mail it to my mother or Dave, whoever I'm most likely to see at that time.

When she got off work, Mom made SURE to call me up and let me know that I was stupid for cutting work and that I was a slacker and I should have thought of a better solution than this and I "shouldn't have gotten so worked up."

She also took care to tell me that I should have just gone without seeing Dave this weekend if I really wanted to go to this party because he wouldn't know anyone (to be honest, I don't know more than 1-2 people either!) and he's not going to like hanging out with a crowd that he has nothing in common with and "he's just going to hang all over you" and not only will he not have a good time, he'll ruin my good time because I'll feel guilty for bringing him along and him not having a good time. And I was supposed to say what, he can stay at home? Yeah, he'll be so thrilled to hear that.

And to think that we'd been getting along so well lately.


The job news: Dave says his interview went well, and word should come (or not) next week about going in for training. He's also got another interview scheduled for next Thursday in case the first one doesn't work out. He wants the second job more than the first because of the money and figures he'll have to get hired for it because "I have no previous experience in this area. They must have NO ONE ELSE they can call if they called me." (Sad but true.) He keeps calling them "job offers" and insists that they are offers because he's so sure he can get them both and maybe he'll just work two jobs instead of going to school. I used to be really upset at the idea of him working two jobs (high school "boyfriend" did that and I never saw him), but now I'm more like, you know, it doesn't matter any more, I don't really get to talk to him much now anyway and he owes so much money by now he might as well do that instead of school.


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