Chaos Attraction

Disturbing Moments

2007-12-05, 11:07 p.m.

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I have managed to finish one scarf out of the many I am making for Christmas presents this year. I would generally think that something involving a bowtie might be dorky, but I am actually fond of how it came out, and might end up making myself one sometime. It's a lot warmer and goes around the neck easier than a strip of fabric.

Too bad the rest of the patterns work with smaller needles than size 11, though... I may have to rethink this. Especially since I have to have five scarves done by...oh, December 15, since it looks like we're moving up the pre-Christmas dinner to that weekend. ERK. And somehow using size 7 needles ever hurts my hand, and I don't know why.

I am also pondering whether or not to try making my friend Jackie some kind of sculpture, rather than try to figure out what to buy her. She's always the one who's got everyone's presents bought by November and is bragging about how fabulous they are and blah blah and I never feel like I can live, trying to get ahold of Wallace and Gromit merchandise she doesn't already own is just not doable. Grr. So, maybe I could attempt a Gromit. Or Happy Bunny. I don't know.

I got e-mail with the results of Craftapalooza- it went so well that they plan on having Craftapalooza 2 the Friday before Valentine's Day now. I am not terribly yay on the idea of participating in some event that's all "yay Valentine's Day",, yeah, I'll probably do it anyway.

Most popular stuff:
1. Sandblasting
2. Stained glass pendants (I still want one)
3. Beeswax candles (ditto).
4. Silk scarves
5. Beaded bracelets
6. Ceramics
7. Picture frames.

I gather doing T-shirts and cards aren't going to be returning, given the lack of popularity of those items. Cards doesn't surprise me, nor does the screenprinted shirts not being the biggest thing ever. Screenprinting is a complicated pain in the ass to do and drives me out of my mind every time I try it. I can only imagine what kind of a mess they had going on trying to do it with complete noobs in the space of 4 hours. Unless they already had set designs and shirts going on (I don't know if they did, I never made it down to watch them), it would not be easy. I am surprised that the drawing-on-shirts didn't go well, though.

I was asked to give feedback on how it went, and the one quibble I had was that a lot of people told me they had no idea where to find bracelets (since we weren't in the jewelry lab and the "jewelry lab" we were in was upstairs, and the sign didn't says "bracelets" on it). If they do scrap doing T-shirts next go-round, maybe we should be moved to the first floor, even if screenprinting isn't the best lab to cram 9 people making jewelry in at one time.

They also sent out the notice for the auction party on Friday- yup, all dessert again *hits head on wall*.

Now, I've had some very cheerful entries going on lately...but this is kind of the buzzkill because things started to go weird. Sorry about that.

I had a disturbing moment on Monday.

My old shrink is offering a meditation class on Mondays during lunch this quarter. Now, I should probably explain that I pretty much hate meditation. It's a "take your nice medicine, Jennifer" sort of thing. Know I should do it, don't really enjoy it, have to be forced to do it. I don't like doing it myself at home for many reasons, so at least the class forces me to once a week and I have someone else leading it so I don't have to sit there thinking about what to do next and that ruining the moment. Even then, I would probably still not be doing it if someone else that wasn't my old shrink was teaching the class. And I am undecided if I want to repeat it again next quarter. (Should probably make myself though.)

Anyway: she lectures on meditation issues for the first half of it, then we meditate during the second half. Well, during the discussion she mentioned affirmations. Which I hate. Hate does not even begin to describe how much the Stuart Smalley stuff bugs the hell out of me. It feels like lying. I know the purpose of it is to essentially talk yourself into being something else, bugs me. My shrink has tried to get me to do them, Can't stand it. Hate every second of it.

Even worse, at one point during the "energizing" portion of the group meditation, we're supposed to be chanting, "I am positive! Energetic! Enthusiastic!"

I really hate that. I didn't know WHY it bothered me so damn much, but I feel all oogy and horrible inside just thinking those words (or typing them), much less screaming them to an entire room. While bouncing with enthusiasm as we are supposed to be doing.

And I stupidly (what was I thinking?) said to the entire room that I hate doing that. Naturally, everyone was all, "God, you're such a damn FREAK." My old shrink was all, "Oh, that's what I love about you, Jennifer, you're so honest." Everyone else was all, "Good thing you stand in the back of the room, you wanker."

*sigh* Well, I did that one to myself. Shouldn't have let the freak flag fly around people who actually like doing that sort of thing.

Anyway, today's revelation during meditation class:

1. Even if I am in a good mood (I refuse to call it a P-mood), which I actually am of late, saying the P-word out loud about myself feels like I'm jinxing my life. It's running around during a storm in a field carrying a lightning rod and yelling, "Come and get me!"
2. Saying the P-word makes me feel like a vampire who's just been thrown out into the sun, screaming and melting.

Disturbing, yes.

Third weird moment of the day: I went back to the gym today and got to hear 24-year-old white girls whining about how they are already getting wrinkles. When the girl nearest them asked why they were worried about this, they said to her, "Well, you don't have to worry about it."
"You're Asian, you don't get wrinkles."
I could feel the stupid burning, I swear.

Fourth weird moment of the day: going into the locker room after class and hearing two girls talk about how they like to dress skanky.


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