Chaos Attraction

The Idiot Tax

2015-12-08, 5:31 p.m.

I’m a total idiot. People give me crap for saying I’m stupid all the time, but seriously, I AM STOOOOOOPID.

Here’s why: the last half hour or so of work yesterday, one of my teeth is giving me little twinges of pain when I bite on that side. (Note: this is the side with the crown and one of the areas of my teeth that are basically permanently buggered.) Eh, whatever, until I’m walking home from work and start feeling around there and it feels like there’s a hole in there. I start freaking the heck out that I must have lost a filling somewhere while eating popcorn and not have noticed it, but there’s nothing I can do after 5 p.m. I went to a second knitting group meeting--there’s now one near my house Monday nights and I normally go hang out with Meg those nights but she went out of town-but had a hard time thinking about anything else for well, most of the rest of the night. (Except see below.)

So this morning I had to cancel my appointment with my shrink-which I really could have used and it was probably going to be the only time I could do an appointment all month because the rest of them have to be canceled due to work-to go to an emergency dental appointment. And uh…”where’s that hole again? Can you show us? Again?” They…found nothing. No new hole, no lost filling, everything was fine.

On the one hand, WHEW, I don’t have to get another filling and pay for it. On the other hand, I had to pay a stupidity tax of $89 for that and my tooth region still kinda hurts a little. WTF, I don’t even know. I was done by around 11:30 and tried calling my shrink to say hey, can I use the last half hour of session time...but of course she didn’t get back to me until it was too late.

Between that and tripping and falling on my face while going back to work, I’m feeling too stoopid to live today.

And EVEN BETTER, I came home tonight to find out that I’d lost my car keys and had no idea that happened. I also lost my work keys last week. The maintenance guy found both of them and passed them off to my apartment manager, who recognized them all as mine and returned them to me. SO GIANT WHEW THERE BECAUSE THE DAY COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE, EH?

I told my apartment manager that given how the day’s going, I am just going to stay in my apartment, not do anything, and DRINK.

On a more cheerful note, I’d like to talk about last night’s Great Christmas Light Fight. (Note: appears to be on Hulu and here are some photos.) I dearly love this show and any giant Christmas bling, and I’m happy to say that someone from my olde hometowne WON last night! I’ve previously mentioned seeing the show here when the guy who puts it on said they were being recruited for the show. I’ll bet the viewing party they had was spectacular.

Here is the video he put online after winning-Star Wars theme! You can see previous show videos on his usual website. There’s an awesome tribute to his work here. Should you want to see the show and are in that area, instructions on where to park can be found here.

Matt Phipps (and everyone else in the family) won for the ingenuity of their fire and water show, which definitely reminds me of Disneyland water shows when you see it. I haven’t seen this year’s display yet-I suspect they didn’t show the whole thing because last year they had Disney video clips and they probably don’t have permissions for that or something. I was amused that he said they fill the lake in the front yard with their pool water and “we let rainwater fill it up the rest of the year.” (Very funny in California-what rainwater?!) He’s got water cannons, 4 million color options and every light is a pixel. The judge said she felt like she was in Vegas and that’s not wrong. I also liked this quote from her: “His sentimental moment was his control box, and I loved the fact that it was still there and he was still using it.”

Also, there’s gonna be a house from a neighboring town on an episode on December 14 and one closer to my current neck of the woods sometime I don’t know when. I’ll be rooting for them, I suspect. NorCal lights 4 LYFE!

While digging for links on this, I also found a PDF fact sheet on all the decorations on the houses this year. If that’s your thing, go to it.

I am also delighted at the winner of the first hour of the show, which literally made their house disappear under a giant It’s A Small World castle. I loved loved loved that too. I loved how the judge was amazed and going “where is your HOUSE?” Also interesting: if you read this article, it says that if you’re chosen for the show, they give you 25 days to put the whole show together, and this family said they usually do it in 1.5-2 months.

And uh…can I say something kinda catty in that I’m really glad that one contender didn’t win? I hate to say that, but the Laura lady mentioned here that was up against Matt was freaking me out. They’ve got her entire family standing at attention and she’s all “My name is Laura…and that’s the only name you need to worry about.” The rest of the family basically just nods in fear at this remark. Her whole speech went along the lines of: This is MY display, I am a one woman team, I do EVERYTHING (in 25 days, apparently) and nobody else here does nuffin, I let my husband put up ONE sign and a pole. Actual quote from her: “Nobody touches my Christmas. Nobody.” And “If Jesus is not part of your display, you might as well be decorating for Halloween.” Her kids and grandkids all looked kinda scared of her, hell, so was I and I don’t even know her. Talk about control freak.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m amazed that she put up THAT amount of lights literally all by herself (in 25 days?!) and that’s impressive, and I thought she was going to win when the judge started going on about how this was exactly how she’d decorate a house. But not only was I a bit biased, I was a bit scared.

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