2016-12-11, 9:02 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Thanksgiving isn’t my favorite holiday and making gratitude lists and gratitude journals aren’t my favorite thing either, but I want to do some kind of karmic giant thank you list for the friends I have this week, because a lot of people have been amazing in times of trouble.
Y’all are excellent. I’ve told these people this in reality and I can’t recall if any of them even know about this blog at this point (blogs being out of fashion these days and nobody cares if it’s not Facebook or Twitter), but I just wanted to put it out there that sometimes people can really, really come through for you in the event of disaster.
I spent Sunday at home alone, doing the usual boring chores that one has to do periodically, and the less frequent stuff like “get a box to mail a friend’s present” and “drop off more stuff at the SPCA” and “recycle all the dead electronics.” I’ve now got 12 receipts from the SPCA for this year, so I’ll be curious to see what that does for the taxes. I usually get just enough of a refund to immediately have to use it to pay for the renter’s insurance (feh), so...we’ll see. I also went to the gym for the first time in months, so bonus points to me for that one. I’m debating giving up my membership if I’m not going, but then again at the rate things are going I may not get to decide that for myself anyway :P
I basically did all the chores I could come up with that didn’t involve job hunting. Writing entries, trying to figure out some “safe” way to get to Santa Cruz because of course Mom freaked at the thought of Highway 17, baking cookies, blinging up Christmas knitted items for parties next week, wrapping presents for parties next week, blah blah blah.
I know I should be doing it, but hoo boy, did my mojo for it go down the toilet after yesterday’s conversations about state jobs. Which were reminding me of things like “No more Christmas vacation for you if you leave here” (which again may not be under my control and my attempts to find a replacement job here have been not happening) and hearing things like “You can’t have direct deposit if you work for the state unless you never ever use your first 40 hours of vacation” (whaaaat?) “and then you don’t get a check for months.” I got what looked like a few responses and was dreading looking at them, but they boiled down to rejections or “fill out this extra form” or in one case a random recruiter, so...
Argh. I just don’t want to leave my comfort zone, except for uh, other issues. I wish I could just sack up and move on with confidence instead of “but, but...bird in the hand! Which I may not get to keep anyway, who knows around here!”