Today's driving day also did not go well.

You know, I shouldn't have listened to the doctor/nurse people saying "go make that appointment ASAP." I was not ready. Dear god, I was not ready. At this point, I am not remotely up to driving a car out of town, much less making it to a set appointment time, apparently.

I got to the car (a Ford Focus) early to try to read the manuals and crap. This car only had one short list of instructions, and frankly, they weren't terribly helpful or explanatory. Like, how come I can't move the mirrors whatsoever? Are they supposed to be like that? It took me like 10-20 minutes to get the damn thing moving. It wasn't as bad as the Prius was for that-- at least this runs via key and the joystick worked faster-- but dear god, that car hits the gas quickly. I guess that's good for freeway driving, but not so much locally.

I was really, really worried about finding my way there. I specifically got a phone with GPS, I printed out the directions to get there (but NOT the way back...stupid stupid stupid!), and I've at least been in a car with other people on the way to Arden to have an idea of what the area looks like, at least. Naturally, on a day where I'm fucking terrified and have no clue, THE GPS STOPPED FUCKING WORKING FOR 45 MINUTES. It couldn't find the road in my town, much less the freeway. So I was forced to rely on my written instructions. which I clung to on the wheel.

To be fair, I drove on the freeway fine, didn't do anything stupid. I carefully paid attention to the road and the instructions. Towards where I thought the turnoff was going to be, I stayed on the right side and watched like a hawk. I was supposed to get off at 9A. 8A came up, then 8B, then 9...then 11, 13, 15... WHAT THE FUCK?!?

I eventually gave up hope, pulled into some random Jimboy's Tacos, started crying, and called to cancel the appointment. "Are you sure you can't make it?" the girl asked. "I have no idea where I am, much less where you are. Not happening," I said. "And don't ask me to reschedule. Just cancel the whole thing altogether. I can't do this." More crying ensued. Then I upped my reservation time on Zipcar for another half hour past because god only knows how I was gonna get home, much less in time. I finally ended up calling Merry at work (major no-no there at her job, but what the fuck else could I do with no instructions home and no working GPS) and she said, "Just go west on the freeway towards San Francisco until you find the causeway."

At least getting back was easier than trying to leave. Oh yeah, and THEN the GPS decided to fucking work.

I got back into town around 11:10, leaving me most of an hour on my time. I might as well use it...so I drove to the CVS, which I can't normally go to. Much to my surprise, I found a bunch of cheap tiny ornaments that I'd been looking for since some of the Tiny Trees are rather skimpily decorated. And various chocolate snacks. And more booze. Then I drove it home, then went back to drop off the car.

I feel about as much of a wreck today as I did yesterday, just for different reasons.

How the hell am I supposed to move if I can't even find my way around a city freeway in midday late December lack of traffic? How stupid am I? How the hell am I ever going to do this? I'm not an adult. I can't even find anything so easy as a route I've been on enough times to be able to recognize how it goes, right? Oh god. I can't deal with this.

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