Chaos Attraction

The Wickhams

2022-12-13, 8:45 p.m.

Heard from Robert again--there was no mention of anyone else but him and Janene going, he said they'd be working concessions, though he's still coughing so maybe not. Hmmmm. Well, there's no assigned seating at this thing, so I guess that works for not having to plan around anyone else who may flake and bail.

I have been permitted to have Monday off from work (in addition to the rest of the next two weeks) because the thing they wanted me to wait around and do is in no way likely to happen any time soon due to the strike. So, that's been okayed. I also got notice of getting a large one-time check during break, so THAT's nice.

The packages that were supposed to come today are now delayed until Thursday...probably being mailed to an alternate dimension.

My therapist canceled AGAIN...I'm pretty ticky about this since I have stuff to say and she isn't there.

The monologues I did last night have been added to the Shiny Unicorns YouTube queue for reveals, but one won't be up until the 26th and the other won't be up until January 9th, sigh. Oh much for showing them to people faster. I didn't know we were doing one a week (I note we have four recorded now, other people are presumably in progress for doing others), darn it.

I finished my 10 minute flaming goat play and am very pleased with it. I felt like I kept having to make it be longer, then started reading it aloud and had to purge a few lines to keep it under. But no biggie, that was easy to cut. It covers all the existential angst and arguments as to whether or not the Gavle Goat should deliberately burn or be left alone, for sure, and has comedy moments. Too late to do anything with it this year, but perhaps we can perform it next year or I submit it somewhere.

And obviously that's it for the news today, so. I'm going to watch "The Wickhams: Christmas at Pemberley" online! I listened to the radio play version of it last year or in 2020 (I forget which, life blends together now) and now I can watch it online. As can you, should you choose to do so!

This takes place at the same time as the previous play and features (a) the Darcys, (b) the Wickhams, and (c) the "downstairs" household staff of Mrs. Reynolds, Cassie and Brian. (Jane, Mary, et al. are upstairs and off the stage in this one.)

* The Darcy's are pondering having sex in the hall (seriously) until Mrs. Reynolds, the cook, walks in and is all "you have 23 bedrooms upstairs, use one of those" about it. Which is legit.

* Lizzie has regrets about getting Lydia married off to Wickham, even though it was the best/only solution at the time. Even though Wickham is (supposedly) not coming this year, it's hard for Lizzie to block him out when her sister comes and yaks on about him CONSTANTLY. Mrs. Reynolds, however, remembers George as a kid and liked him back in the day....

* Lydia brags that her husband "allows me freedom," to flirt, apparently. Lizzie is already ready to kill her.

* "I'll thank you to judge him as harshly as I do," Darcy says as he complains about Wickham and how Mrs. R can't see him for what he is/is too sympathetic to him. Mrs. R says she doesn't approve of his actions but understands where he came from, i.e. being second best. Meanwhile, how does Lydai not know why her husband is persona non grata? Like nobody's mentioned it? (Okay, so now it'd be awkward to tell her once what's done is done, but "why isn't my husband invited to your house?" seems like it should be spelled out.)

* AND THEN WICKHAM STAGGERS IN THE BACK DOOR, clearly drunk and worse for wear. He hits Mrs. R up for tea and sympathy. She grudgingly gives it to him. Brian the footman used to be friends with Wickham and is Not Into His Return, or his advice on wooing Cassie (who doesn't care).

* Wickham's advice on ladies: make them feel pretty and free, then manipulate them into doing what you want.

* Is it Cathy or Cassie? "I don't care," says Wickham, charmingly. Er, not.

* Cassie went through Wickham's clothes and finds a very bad note. Lizzy runs off with it .

* While in the house, Wickham pitches woo to Lydia and tells her he wants to move abroad, and rips Darcy a new one.

* Way to diss your wife at the top of your lungs enough for her to HEAR YOU.

* Darcy punches Wickham when he refers to Georgiana as "the dove who got away." "You just cannot stop getting hit, can you?" says Mrs. R.

* Lizzie returns and states her intention to get Lydia divorced. It's unheard of, says Darcy, pointing out it's hard to get a judge to agree. BUT THIS LETTER. Wickham's knocked up another woman and claimed to want marriage, her brother beat him up after that. "I'm not sure why this is a shock to anyone," she grumbles.

* Cassie sewed all of Wickham's pockets shut. HAHAHAHAHAH.

* The clue bat has hit Lydia in the head but mightily.

* "What does everyone know that I don't?" -Lydia

* Darcy's given us all the gift of POLICE FOR CHRISTMAS to arrest Wickham for his gaming debts, schemes, and cheating. Wanna go be a convict in Australia? (Clearly the playwrights are gloating at the idea of GETTING RID OF THIS FUCKING GUY in a plausible way for the time.)

* "I am NOT the silly girl you ran off." -Lydia. He threatens that she'll be an 18-year-old divorcee, Lydia cares not. Even Mrs. R is throwing him out.

* Honestly, I can't say I'm that interested in the servant plotline. Like they seem nice enough and all, but I don't feel super strongly about the sudden romance...well, okay, I guess.

* Lizzie's pregnant, of course.

Overall, I recommend this, especially for the GETTING RID OF WICKHAM plotline.

I'll finish with one more Hallmark review...

A Magical Christmas Village: I admit I wasn't super paying attention to this one. Possibly I was kinda drunk at this point, possibly I was kinda distracted by my "Noel Next Door" high (watched it first, posting this later) and this wasn't the same, possibly it's just somewhat dull-ish? I don't know. I may have to watch it again and give it another fair shot?

Anyway: Allison Sweeney starts out this movie with the same suit and hair as Amy Poehler in Parks and Rec, which made me think, "Is Amy Poehler doing Hallmark now?!" for a minute. She is Summer, who is " the responsible one," whereas her mother Vivian (Marlo Thomas, who has a wonderful plastic surgeon) is a cheerful hippie who thinks everything will work out even if she has to move in with her daughter and is out of money or something and not really taking care of her own biz so much. She also breaks out the "magical Christmas village," which frankly looks cheap and sad compared to say, the Snow Village or basically any other Christmas village stuff I've seen (or my family collected) my whole life. I guess they gotta get a knockoff or something, but it wasn't very magical. Anyway, supposedly if you set up a scene in the village it happens in real life, like Summer going to a gazebo or skating or whatever, and I guess that's the magic, but frankly it wasn't feeling very magical or interesting.

Summer hangs out with Ryan (Luke Macfarlane, back to romancing ladies again on camera) a lot before his magical job offer to California or whatever. He's perfectly nice and pleasant, so is she, but god knows they don't live up to the last movie I saw here. It's all very pleasant.

Mostly this plot revolves around Uptight vs. Wild, with Vivian meditating and being optimistic and telling Ryan about a vision or something (he hangs out with her independently of Summer, not knowing they're related) and trusting that she'll find the right house even if it's December 2022, and Summer being all, "The reason why things work out for you is because I DO ALL THE WORK HERE!!!", which is quite legit. Ryan later on is all like, at some point your life know, stays like it is, and Vivian is all "no, it can change," and I'm all, yeah, tell that to my empty love life and job and none of that shit has improved in 2 decades.

In the end, magical optimism carries through, as Vivian finds a house and oh, suddenly she remembers her dead husband had a pension or something, or whatever. That's nice. She does keep the screen interesting, I'll say. I did enjoy Summer showing up in old timey costume to ask Ryan to stay, that actually got me interested in this movie and was a bit touched. This is followed by them making out and then her being all "Oh man, I just made out in front of a bunch of kids."

I dunno...three stars?

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