Chaos Attraction

Meme Yearly Roundup

2004-12-14, 7:05 p.m.

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I'm just going to rip off a meme today.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?

* Started volunteering at the CC.
* Took up knitting.
* Took up stained glass.
* Took up rockclimbing.
* Got dis-engaged.
* Liked being single.
* Got my wisdom teeth out.
* Did jury duty.
* Worked a craft fair.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Jesus, I can't even remember if I had any this year. So that's probably a "no."

My resolution for next year, as stated recently, is to NOT DATE or get involved with any guys whatsoever.

I am debating making resolutions about the parents (har) or finishing the novel (double har), but those always go to hell, so why bother.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Thankfully, no. People not close to me did, but at least nobody had a baby that made me terribly scared for said baby.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandfather did, but we weren't close. But in terms of family relations he's close.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. I don't go anywhere. I didn't go anywhere, period, except for the worst parts of Nevada, Idaho, and Montana *cry*.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

* A raise (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
* Money from that lawsuit (see above)
* Someone to come in and help me figure out how to organize the damned apartment because it scares me.
* A home health worker for my mom (okay, so this isn't for "me") and dad so I can have less guilt going on in my life.
* Less daily boredom.
* Sanity. (HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!)
* A spine. (See above.)
* Sane parents. (Yeah, that one's so ridiculous it's not even funny.)
* A new president. (See above.)

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

* February 12, when I got dis-engaged.
* February 14, when I realized that I've had better Valentine's Days with my parents than any guy I ever dated in my life, and I really should stop whining about landing a romantic guy for the date when my parents treat me better in that respect, and I'm better off single.
* June 11-20: Groping Grandma Vacation From Hell.
* August 16, Le Deluge.
* November 3, Day of Suck, in which I realized that I don't fit in in this country.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being happy with being single. This is HUGE for me, honestly.

9. What was your biggest failure?

This year's novel. Mainly because it's not nearly as coherent or far along with the plot as other years. I feel like I backslid a bit.
And I really just didn't do well at ASL this year. That was disappointing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Got the wisdom teeth out.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My iPod!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Jess's, for going above and beyond in every respect.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My family, as usual, though Grandma gets the "Most Changed" award this year. And I suppose Dave gets thrown in here this time as well.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Books. Beads. Crafts. Food. Replacing stuff.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Um.... I don't know. Nothing REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY excited me this year. I didn't have anything major going on on that level.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?

"Disease," Matchbox 20. One way or another, it seems like people around me are tainted and sick.

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

Less stressed in some areas, more stressed in others, with a really messy apartment and 2 more cats.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Wish I'd allowed myself more free time spring and fall quarters. Wish I'd gone back to dance class after Le Deluge instead of flaking out from stress. Wish I'd gotten the novel plot done. Wish I'd been nicer to and more patient with my parents, not to mention less squeamish about my dad. Wish I'd get to cleaning up my apartment instead of having mental seizures at the idea of doing it. Wish I was a better daughter.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Taken less classes certain quarters because I was overloaded. I wish I'd screamed at people less.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Taking care of Dad, very badly. Being yelled at by Mom. Being insulted by my relatives. Happy holidays to me!

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?

NO! And I'm much the better for it.

23. How many one-night stands?

None. No boys = NO BOYS, period.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Joan of Arcadia.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hm. I dunno. Well, I'm obviously not as fond of Dave as I used to be, but I don't hate him. Mainly I'm just really tired and worn out after dealing with all of his problems getting nothing but worse for 2 years.

26. What was the best book you read?

The Life of the World to Come, Kage Baker, and This Lullaby, Sarah Dessen. So I can't pick one.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Patti Scialfa, probably. One of the few albums I actually bought in person and paid full price for this year.

28. What did you want and get?

To take classes at the CC for cheap, to get back into my apartment (finally), to get to keep my job another year, certain objects and crafts and stuff that made me happy.

29. What did you want and not get?

Parental sanity, my (now ex) fiance to get his act together in life, my dad to have a miraculous recovery, my PITA aunt and uncle to stop being assholes, my grandma to get her damn hands off my tits.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Um... I'm going to go with Eternal Sunshine and Saved! this year. Again, can't pick 2.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26 and, um... I don't remember what I did. Went out for dinner or something. Oh, wait, had that massive insane shopping trip.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Parental sanity.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?

Capri pants and tank tops. Furry scarves. Sweaters/shirts that tie up around the boobs. Cute skirts. Cargo pants. Low-riding pants in general (but not skank low, just "not gonna irritate the crap out of my bellybutton" low).

34. What kept you sane?

I'm not sane.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

As usual, John Mayer, but this got a bit more this year. Dude is a funny guy.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

THE ELECTION.

37. Who did you miss?

Same people I always miss that have been long gone out of my life by now.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Um.... there were a lot of people I liked, but I'm not particularly close to any of them, so I don't think it counts.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:

I'm quoting Kameron's answer from the link above here because it's so damned good:

"Here's this year's: there are often long stretches of downtime on the road to where you're going. You know, those long stretches of highway between New York and LA, or the shitty stretches of nowheresville between Seattle and Chicago - but those distances, those driving times, are neccessary to get to where you need to go.

2004 has been a shitty stretch of midwestern highway, with road stops along the way like Toledo's Tallest Tree & Billy Bob's Lint Museum, intercut by signposts that say stuff like "Civilization: 2000 miles," and the car has mostly run pretty good, but it overheated once (luckily, I keep a couple gallons of water in the back), and got a couple of flats (ever since my roadtrip to Skagway, I keep two spares in the trunk), and there was the odd problem with something hanging off the engine that was resolved by tying a couple of choice parts back together with a shoelace before I got to stop off at the shop and get it fixed proper, and I didn't stop for any hitchhikers along the way, but I felt bad about it. I'm now consulting a really confusing map somewhere in the Salt Flats of Utah on my way to the ocean, and yea, I'm stronger and more confident, and I'm getting better rejection slips, but I can't see the ocean yet, likely because I'm just not ready to see it yet. Likely because I need to pick up a few hitchhikers and learn how to play the harmonica and trade in the car for a motorcycle, but I switched from fast-food to granola bars sometime back, and I've got better shoes and a good pair of sunglasses, and there's nothing so cool as arriving at the seashore on a sweet-ass motorcycle, wearing a floppy newsboy cap as my striped scarf streams behind me, and maybe that's the whole point.

There's a place I want to be. This is the road I'm taking to get there.

I don't mind that it's a long road. It just means I'll be a more interesting person by the time I get there."

Getting back to what I would answer for the question... this year's valuable life lesson is that I finally accepted that I was meant to be single. That I was not meant to be married or have some guy around on a long term basis. That I do horribly under those conditions, and being desperate to keep someone around is not beneficial to me. That I have no taste in men and am a complete pain in the ass to be with as a "partner", and that I can't handle being "partners" with anyone anyway. That I'm way too fucking immature to be in a relationship, and that as long as I'm an immature git, I can't expect anything I get involved in to work out. So I really need to wait years before I get involved with anyone again. And hope that in some years' time, I'm smarter about these things and can choose someone who won't be a washout, and that I'll be An Adult and not a complete fucking pain to be coupled with the way I am now.


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