Chaos Attraction

The Weather Outside Is Frightful

2021-12-14, 7:13 a.m.

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The Secret Ingredient is Marmalade - 2021-12-19
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Springtime For Hitler (Part 2) - 2021-12-17
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Cast list as of November 2019

Monday's recap posted on Tuesday:

The weather outside is frightful. I did not enjoy having to be out in it today to go to work (or tomorrow either), I did not leave the building all day, and my lunch date reasonably canceled to work from home and I was fine with that :P I needed to go in to deal with all the mail today, which all came in today and I spent hours dealing with that. And also getting very irritated at someone who keeps bothering me, sigh. Somehow I feel like she's just trying to scam me for freebies and unfortunately I was forced to give her another freebie. I hate service. I hate always having to be wrong and bad all the time.

We have two options for hoteling stations, The Bigger Room With No Window that I usually use, and The Smaller One With The Window that I usually do not use (Lioness likes it, I give her first dibs). However, Hope was in the usual office today, forcing me to use the window office, where most of my stuff isn't configured...again...could only use one printer, couldn't get into the group email box, it was an even pettier pain in the arse.

I will note that my window view all day was very dark, very windy, and very wet and generally unpleasant.

Luis asked me to be a reference (he has to provide 14 of 'em!) for the police officer job he's going for, I wrote him a glowing review and the investigator said it was the fastest response ever, hah hah. I also asked him about how he met his girlfriend, and that was very sweet. Lucky guy, that one. Why can't I ever meet someone I'd want who'd want me back?

I also heard from Grandboss, showing me the photos of the painted volcano--nice job there--and how it lights up.

I did not go to karaoke tonight. I had told Ashley I would, but it was too fucking scary/wet just walking home and I'm already a bit concerned about just driving halfway across town for 10 minutes to go to the theater. At least I only have to drive within my town and not on the freeway now, which is nice.

The state is officially bringing back mask mandates for ALL the state, which apparently means the 50% of counties (hi, Solano, this means you) that weren't mandating them, for a month (presumably "at least"). I'm relieved to hear it. Hopefully by the time I go back to karaoke or anywhere else in Solano, people are practicing proper safety.

And finally, there's an answer as to how much rain would end the drought, a question I always wonder about because everyone always acts like even if we had fucking monsoons every day of winter it would never be enough. Answer: five to seven bad storms like this one. One down, 4-6 to go!

Rehearsal: the audition scene. I and all the other ladies are dancing Hitlers. No actual choreographer tonight, we're just literally supposed to do an arabesque, pirouette, goose step, waltz, kick thing a few times. Preferably as badly as possible. I was Not In The Mood to take off all my clothes to do dancing, down to the hiking boots I had on, so the pirouettes got progressively worse and worse. It was actually pretty funny to me to nearly fall off the stage, but I dunno if that's a thing I want to do every night for safety, you know? We'll see.

The scene is pretty funny, especially when Andy goes all manic and yelling that Hitler was butch (and then proceeds to...not dance butch) and yells at Scott and Scott goes fleeing and the rest of us have to dodge out of the way. I guess they made up their own dance moves on that one, it works. We got out after about an hour.

Scott didn't talk to me or sit next to me tonight--sat in front of me. Whatever that means. Don't know if he's mad/offended/just doesn't wanna talk to anyone...whatever, sigh. Does it matter, I suppose?

Today's Hallmark: Up too early this morning, up watching "A Royal Queens Christmas." Rob Thomas has done a song for this. I confess I'm confused on the title, but I guess it's this year's royalty movie + Queens, NY (shades of Coming to America).

Daphne Dolores Peretti (Didi) meets Prince Colin of Exeter, who other than the accent, looks like the least noble prince they've cast on Hallmark. I think it's the stubble. Also, he's "a big overgrown child" who's apparently going to get forced to get married and take the throne soon instead of being a rock star, surprise! Random fact: he calls up the guy who babysits and tracks him via app and complains that he doesn't have a surname (his parents do, he doesn't?). "You don't require a surname!" You have so many middle names, who cares, I guess.

Anyway, he's in town for some international charity ball and accidentally smacks into the lady's baked goods, so she makes him play piano for a kids' show rehearsal. Colin thinks their selections are "dull" and she's all "it's tradition, we've been singing them since I was a kid." Colin then fires up a much more lively jazz improvisation-y version of "Joy To The World," which a bunch of kids can somehow figure out how to sing to. He then follows Didi home for dinner and spends the night on the couch. "Dare I trust him? Why start now?" the stalker employee guy snarks.

Cousin Zoe likes being engaged but not actually getting married. Also, "I'm a Rossi. What's the Rossi bakery without a Rossi?" Didi literally says, "You know there are ways around that." Me: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE YOU DON'T *HAVE* TO TAKE A MAN'S NAME LIKE YOU'RE CHATTEL. I'm starting to wonder if there's going to be a last name gag coming soon. Spy Guy (Whidbey, the "executive assistant") watches Colin get into a snowball fight and when asked "is he behaving himself," lies. Colin insists on still playing for rehearsals anyway.

His parents check the news and are happy to see Colin dubbed "the prince of Queens" and not wearing jeans. Oh yeah, and they're fixing him up with Duchess Adriana, who Colin dubs "like a sister." "He expressed affection for her..." Whidbey says, technically not lying. Of course, here come the royal parents and the presumptive fiancee. "One incredible delight after another," says Whidbey, trying not to choke. Whidbey is officially his "guardian" and supposedly friend, the parents say. Where is Colin? Participating in a children's art program. Oh, let's go surprise him! Whidbey tried to voice text a warning, but "autocorrect was not our friend." AWKWARDNESS ENSUES.

Colin claims he still wants to play for her, and will, but obviously she doesn't buy it. Didi makes a crack about finding a replacement for Colin by scouring hotel lobbies and asking random piano players if they're secretly royalty.. I think he earned that one. "The kids will sing a cappella. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean like a real person."

Adriana is a nice lady who is totally fine with Colin's "arts program," will come along and have dinner later. Colin does a really enthusiastic "Jingle Bells." It's a shame they won't let him go pro musician. The parents sneak in to see it and want to incorporate his music into events now, which actually sounds quite nice of them. Adriana isn't interested in getting married to Colin either, as it turns out. The parents eventually agree to slightly postpone retirement and oh, talk with their kid about things first. Suddenly the parents are all casual about letting Cousin Louis take it if he wants to bail. Hmmm. Colin meets Didi under the wishing tree, so there you go. Very pretty. Like most of the royal movies, I liked it well enough.

A Godwink Christmas: Miracle of Love: Eric and Joy get some kind of two week fellowship, "Advent in Oshkosh." I'm not entirely sure what the heck these people are doing jobwise, but candles are involved and I guess they build a house or something? They're helping some family whose house burned down. Eric wants to write an article on it, but can't get the dad to talk about it., having tried to talk to someone about their house burning's awkward.

Also awkward: the fellowship winners are four people: two white and two African-American. "We're going to pair you off into teams, the white people together and the black people together." Okay, so with these movies it's pretty clear this is to fix up the white people (maybe the others too for all I know, but these Godwink movies are pretty...y'know, when they mention that the white guy originally considered being a pastor...), but still, feels uncomfortable.

I LOL every time someone has to explain a "godwink" (coincidence that's not a coincidence, nudging you to the life you're supposed to be living) in these movies. Like um, I don't think your wife made that word up, sir. They also have to explain a "kringle," which as I recall is a whole nother Hallmark movie I can't remember the name of right now.

Joy has a boyfriend since high school that she feels unexcited about settling down with, and now she's attracted to Eric. IT'S A GODWINK, the lady says! They also realize they could have met as kids because he lived in her town at age 6. But she has a boyfriend! Eric is all "work it out on your own," which is sensible. Eric actually refers to it as "camp is over and we need to get on with our real lives." What is the point of godwinks, Joy says. THAT'S WHAT I KEEP SAYING TOO, JOY. He gives her a compass "in case you ever decide to change direction." LOL.

I laugh every time they go on about how Eric (only) has to write 300 words. That's puny, y'all. Big whoop? Usually the real life Godwink stories are decades old and then they "update" them for modern times, but 300 word column is pretty antiquated. (I have 1600+ words on this entry right now.)

Joy breaks up with her boyfriend and flies to Oshkosh, calling Eric to come pick her up, and she's thrilled. Then Eric accidentally gets mowed over by a car he's working on(?) and has MASSIVE HORRENDOUS DAMAGE ALL OVER THE PLACE, and the doctor guy says he was thinking about bailing on his conference but stuck around for a liver seminar after all, and that probably saved Eric's life. "I believe you call that a godwink." Joy gives Eric the compass. Then his parents come in and basically tell her to bug off, so Joy prays to God about it.

The real life story behind this one. Sounds like the only "real life" thing was the whole liver presentation thing. Meh, this was kinda dull really.

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